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41 Bellevue, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 34–49
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jan 15
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), German (Fluently), Japanese (Okay), Hungarian (Poorly), Chinese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am, if not resistant to change, suspicious of it; but my attitude is that if you have to make changes, try to make them for the better.

Soon after I joined OKC I wrote here, "I am attracted to the intricate mechanism of the world". I've kept that in my profile since then, sometimes with no explanation, sometimes with overexplanation. If you get it immediately, please message me right now and skip my upcoming overexplanation.

The intricate mechanism of the world is the acknowledgement that the "Renaissance scholar" has become an impractical ideal. There was a time when you could aspire to be a serious scholar of everything there was to know about the world, and 3000 books was a library fit for a king. (The Bibliotheca Corviniana of King Matthias Corvinas the Just of Hungary, collected between 1460 and 1490.) Granted that the goal was out of reach then, nevertheless even the aspiration is out of reach today. But what we still can do is know a little about a lot of things, and understand the connections between what we know. Link-surfing Wikipedia with 30 tabs open is a playful expression of exploration of the intricate mechanism of the world; undertaking that on a grand scale is what turns me on.

Things I like to do with other people: listen to live music, watch good and bad movies, overanalyze those movies, that and other good conversation while eating good food, while walking around in good weather, while drinking alcohol, while drinking coffee, while making out, while hanging out. Any of those while on boat rides, or camping trips, or hikes, or being lazy. Aikido, of course. I'd love to date another aikidoka; but as long as you're willing to indulge my mania for it, no problem.

I am anfractuous, mercurial, and eggheaded

:: Somehow, OKCupid decided to collapse all the different foreign-language descriptions they asked you to write into a single description, and then they put "German" before "English". Also, they got rid of the "three adjectives" model and appended it to the description. Really, why? These were not changes for the better.

Ich war einmal Austauschschüler in Nordenham, Niedersachsen. Seitdem hab' ich deutsch als Haupfach auf der Uni studiert, dann alles wieder vergessen.

Wenn Du mir gutes, echt deutsches Science-Fiction vorschlagen könntest, wäre ich sehr dankbar!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Here are my aspirations for this decade:

My first intellectual project for my 40s is "Life: A User's Manual: A User's Manual". If that makes sense to you, message me immediately; I need more collaborators. My second is a collaboration with my brother bringing the philosophy and writing of Günther Anders to the English-speaking world.

I want to learn to play piano and speak ASL.

I want to live in Iceland and work for CCP there. I want to live in Vienna and not work at all.

I'm out to change the world, and I have a job that allows me to contribute to that. I want my company to be successful. I want to retire and change the world in other ways.

I'm in the middle of the certification process for becoming a foster parent, with the goal of possibly adopting an older child. I want to be a parent. Maybe I want to get married — funny how when that option wasn't open to me, I didn't consider it a possibility.

I was polyamorous when I was younger, but on my side I'm really not any more. For one, I don't have the time or attention span for more than one person, especially considering the likely imminent arrival of a kid. I still value the ideals of communication, independence, and mutual support that make polyamory possible, though.


Ich lerne japanisch, weshalb mein deutsch so schlecht geworden ist. Ich studiere Aikido. Ich arbeitete bei einer kleinen Software-Firma, die man vielleicht auch in Deutschland kennt, namens "Microsoft", aber jetzt hab' ich das aufgegeben, um mich in der Wildnis von Startups durchzusetzen.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Math. Languages. Aikido (well, I'm not really good at aikido yet, but in 30 years I will be). Faking it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I have a beard, it's probably the beard. My brother and father and I all have reddish beards, even though our hair colors are brown, blond, and silver respectively. Genes are marvelous.

Nowadays, maybe the height, or the shoulders. Or since I recently stopped liking crowds so much they notice that I've retreated into a corner where there is controlled access and I only have to face a couple of people at a time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Life, a user's manual. Visual Complex Analysis. Doktor Mürke's gesammeltes Schweigen.

Joan of Arc of Mongolia. Being John Malkovich. Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Music for a Large Ensemble (Reich). Vespers (Rach). Goldberg Variations (Bach).

Sushi. Cioppino. Buffalo wings. Cassoulet. Any non-meat antipasto.

Really: I will read anything, listen to any kind of music, eat almost anything, and I won't watch horror movies.

Bonus category: My favorite quotations can be found at -- if there's anything to be learned from a list of other people's thoughts that I greatly admire, you'll learn it there.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Insulin, books, an internet connection, good cookware (and food to cook with it), two good pillows, aikido.

Also, it turns out, coffee-making apparatus.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Parenting. Aikido; Buddhism; music; diabetes; Systema; my job; social justice; introspection.

Our cyberpunk future, and how to make it a reality.

Gender. Identity, and its non-existence.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At work, then at home chilling with internet friends. Or on days when blowing up spaceships doesn't appeal, reading, with a cat on my lap.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I failed at grad school.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-- You want a response; I have a policy of always responding to messages. (Recently, for personal reasons, I've been failing to live up to this policy. I feel guilty about that.)
-- We have a high match percentage; I've found that OKCupid correctly predicts I'll like all my friends, so if you match me at over 90% we probably will get along.
-- FWIW, I always click through "The Two of Us" and look at the "Unacceptable Answers". To my surprise, most of the answers are negotiable on my side. And also it turns out that the most unacceptable answer to me is that welfare and food stamps are okay programs "as long as they aren't abused".

-- As part of my plan to make changes for the better, I really *am* interested in new friends and activity partners, as well as more conventional dating. I'm especially interested in meeting parents for networking and support.

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