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41 M Bellevue, WA

My Details

Last Online
Aug 21
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), German (Fluently), Japanese (Okay), Hungarian (Poorly), Chinese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am, if not resistant to change, suspicious of it; but my attitude is that if you have to make changes, try to make them for the better.

Soon after I joined OKC I wrote here, "I am attracted to the intricate mechanism of the world". I've kept that in my profile since then, sometimes with no explanation, sometimes with overexplanation. If you get it immediately, please message me right now and skip my upcoming overexplanation.

The intricate mechanism of the world is the acknowledgement that the "Renaissance scholar" has become an impractical ideal. There was a time when you could aspire to be a serious scholar of everything there was to know about the world, and 3000 books was a library fit for a king. (The Bibliotheca Corviniana of King Matthias Corvinas the Just of Hungary, collected between 1460 and 1490.) Granted that the goal was out of reach then, nevertheless even the aspiration is out of reach today. But what we still can do is know a little about a lot of things, and understand the connections between what we know. Link-surfing Wikipedia with 30 tabs open is a playful expression of exploration of the intricate mechanism of the world; undertaking that on a grand scale is what turns me on.

Things I like to do with other people: listen to live music, watch good and bad movies, overanalyze those movies, that and other good conversation while eating good food, while walking around in good weather, while drinking alcohol, while drinking coffee, while making out, while hanging out. Any of those while on boat rides, or camping trips, or hikes, or being lazy. Aikido, of course. I'd love to date another aikidoka; but as long as you're willing to indulge my mania for it, no problem.

I am anfractuous, mercurial, and eggheaded

:: Somehow, OKCupid decided to collapse all the different foreign-language descriptions they asked you to write into a single description, and then they put "German" before "English". Also, they got rid of the "three adjectives" model and appended it to the description. Really, why? These were not changes for the better.

Ich war einmal Austauschschüler in Nordenham, Niedersachsen. Seitdem hab' ich deutsch als Haupfach auf der Uni studiert, dann alles wieder vergessen.

Wenn Du mir gutes, echt deutsches Science-Fiction vorschlagen könntest, wäre ich sehr dankbar!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Doing aikido more and more.

My project for my 40s will be "Life: A User's Manual: A User's Manual". If that makes sense to you, message me immediately; I need more collaborators.

Paring down my library -- I moved to an apartment that's smaller than the house I was living in, and there just isn't enough space for all the books. Paring down my archive of personal papers, as well -- I'm still carting around 3.5" floppies from 9th grade, which by this time I have no computer capable of reading.

I'm out to change the world, and I have a job that allows me to contribute to that.

I'm very seriously considering becoming a foster parent, or adopting an older child.

I was polyamorous when I was younger, but I'm moving towards monogamy. I still value the ideals of communication, independence, and mutual support that make polyamory possible, though.


Ich lerne japanisch, weshalb mein deutsch so schlecht geworden ist. Ich studiere Aikido. Ich arbeitete bei einer kleinen Software-Firma, die man vielleicht auch in Deutschland kennt, namens "Microsoft", aber jetzt hab' ich das aufgegeben, um mich in der Wildnis von Startups durchzusetzen.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Math. Languages. Aikido (well, I'm not really good at aikido yet, but in 30 years I will be). Faking it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I have a beard, it's probably the beard. My brother and father and I all have reddish beards, even though our hair colors are brown, blond, and silver respectively. Genes are marvelous.

Nowadays, maybe the height, or the shoulders. Or since I recently stopped liking crowds so much they notice that I've retreated into a corner where there is controlled access and I only have to face a couple of people at a time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Life, a user's manual. Visual Complex Analysis. Doktor Mürke's gesammeltes Schweigen.

Joan of Arc of Mongolia. Being John Malkovich. Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Music for a Large Ensemble (Reich). Vespers (Rach). Goldberg Variations (Bach).

Sushi. Cioppino. Buffalo wings. Cassoulet. Any non-meat antipasto.

Bonus category: My favorite quotations can be found at -- if there's anything to be learned from a list of other people's thoughts that I greatly admire, you'll learn it there.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Insulin, books, an internet connection, good cookware (and food to cook with it), two good pillows, aikido.

Also, it turns out, coffee-making apparatus.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
High performance computing; aikido; Buddhism; music; diabetes; Systema; Starcraft.

Our cyberpunk future, and how to make it a reality.

I just visited Vienna and now I'm spending time thinking about how I can make it possible to move there.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In the dojo from 6 until 9, then at home eating dinner and playing League of Legends with friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I failed at grad school.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like guys
  • Ages 35–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-- You want a response; I have a policy of always responding to messages.
-- We have a high match percentage; I've found that OKCupid correctly predicts I'll like all my friends, so if you match me at over 90% we probably will get along.
-- FWIW, I always click through "The Two of Us" and look at the "Unacceptable Answers". To my surprise, most of the answers are negotiable on my side. And also it turns out that the most unacceptable answer to me is that welfare and food stamps are okay programs "as long as they aren't abused".

-- As part of my plan to make changes for the better, I really *am* interested in new friends and activity partners, as well as more conventional dating. So even if we disagree on monogamy, don't let that stop you. And besides, I'm open to monogamy.