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joe042

27 Philadelphia, PA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Nov 21
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I don't dance. That didn't go over so well in my last two relationships. So. Important things first.

There's other stuff about me too.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I go to a place five times a week, and they pay me for it. Still haven't been fired after four years, so I guess I'm doing something right.

I try to spend a lot of time with my dog. He's an eight pound chihuahua. He's a jerk. His life is basically sleeping, his green ball, and treats. He hates everything that's not those. Especially other dogs and people on the street that talk to themselves. He also has a broken brain (no, it's really broken), but that's no excuse to be an asshole.

tl;dr - I'm the male version of the crazy cat lady.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Winning concert tickets.

Not making decisions.

Having the alcohol tolerance of a third-grader.

Not yelling "SHOOT" at Flyers games.

Pizza.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
They don't remember me from the first time we met.

"I like your beard."
or
"Why did you shave your beard what's wrong with you."

"Your dog is cute." "Your dog is tiny." "Awwwww" "That's a small dog." "Can I park here?" "She's so cute!" "Was that expensive? Where can I get one?" "How old is he?" "Is he potty trained?" "What's his name? Well, that's original." "Meridian, don't poke it with that stick."

(Nothing of mine will ever be named Meridian. This is probably the most important part of the profile.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like pizza. And dark beer. I'm starting to actually cook real food again. I probably still eat too much pasta, but it's balanced with stuff that requires more preparation than boiling water.

Music, whatever. Now you know my real name oh noes you can find my Twitter and all of my dog pictures on Instagram.

I just read this and loved it. I've also been reading through this series again even though I've read it, like, four times. I tend to read/watch the same things instead of new things because I'm lame.

Actually, I didn't just read those. I did when I wrote this, but that was months (Years now? Welp.) ago. Still relevant though! Or not. I don't know. It's just the stuff I read.

(Oh, cool. Links don't show up on the mobile app. Some parts probably won't make sense if you're on a phone.)

I also read real books without pictures. Honest.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. And peanut butter.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How much cheese is too much cheese?

Clever Wi-Fi names. The two best I've seen in the wild were stolen from Google, and I haven't been able to come up with something good for mine. It's really frustrating.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably eating cereal and having conversations with my dog. We've been watching a lot of Seinfeld too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I cried my fucking eyes out at the end of Toy Story 3. Came close when I saw WALL-E, and I'm scared to watch either again. Thanks, Pixar.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You don't make the duck face.

You want to marathon Freaks and Geeks every weekend.

You satisfy this guy's Dating Parameters. All of them. No exceptions.

Whatever. Fuck it, dude. Let's go bowling.