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joe042

27 M Philadelphia, PA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I don't dance. That didn't go over so well in my last two relationships. So. Important things first.

There's other stuff about me too.
What I’m doing with my life
I go to a place five times a week to do things. And they pay me for it. Not a lot, really, but I pay the bills.

I try to spend a lot of time with my dog. He's an eight pound chihuahua. He's a jerk. His life basically revolves around sleeping, his green ball, and treats. He hates everything that's not those. Especially other dogs and people on the street that talk to themselves. He also has a broken brain (no, it's really broken), but that's no excuse to be an asshole.

tl;dr - I'm the male version of the crazy cat lady.
I’m really good at
Not making decisions.

Having the alcohol tolerance of a third-grader.

Not yelling "SHOOT" at Flyers games.

Pizza.
The first things people usually notice about me
They don't remember me from the first time we met.

"Your dog is cute." "Your dog is tiny." "Awwwww" "That's a small dog." "Can I park here?" "She's so cute!" "Was that expensive? Where can I get one?" "How old is he?" "Is he potty trained?" "What's his name? Well, that's original." "Meridian, don't poke it with that stick."

(Nothing of mine will ever be named Meridian. This is probably the most important part of the profile.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like pizza. And beer. Dark beer especially. I've been mostly eating pasta and Whole Foods lately. Having an apartment two blocks from Whole Foods has made it really difficult to want to cook. But I can cook. Sometimes. I'm not totally useless.

Music, whatever. Now you know my real name oh noes you can find all of my dog pictures on Instagram.

I just read this and loved it. A lot. I've also been reading through this series again even though I've read it, like, four times. I tend to read/watch the same things instead of new things because I'm lame.

Actually, I didn't just read those. I did when I wrote this, but that was months ago. Still relevant though! Or not. I don't know. It's just the stuff I read.

(Oh, cool. Links don't show up on the mobile app. Some parts probably won't make sense if you're on a phone.)

I also read real books without pictures sometimes too. Honest.
The six things I could never do without
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. And peanut butter.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How much cheese is too much cheese?

Clever Wi-Fi names. The two best I've seen in the wild were stolen from Google, and I haven't been able to come up with something good for mine. It's really frustrating.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably eating cereal and having conversations with my dog.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I cried my fucking eyes out at the end of Toy Story 3. Came close when I saw WALL-E. I'm scared to watch either again. Thanks, Pixar.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You don't make the duck face.

You want to marathon Freaks and Geeks every weekend.

You satisfy this guy's Dating Parameters. All of them. No exceptions.