What follows now is my previous answer. I'm a sentimental fucker and this being my first gut reaction to "My self-summary," it seems only appropriate to commemorate the spark of ingenuity that was this paragraph.
"I'm really super smart and like sparkly things and I keep a string of tampons around my neck with two Talbots bags tied at the ends and I like to tuck my shirt into my panties and smell my hand after I wipe my butt. But most importantly, I worship the god that is Kevin Bacon (I don't like filling these things out... If you got through all of that and laughed... Then go ahead and message me)"