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joey_deschanel

31 M New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:03pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin, White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly halal
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Sagittarius
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Spanish (Fluently), Turkish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I moved to NYC about 7 years ago to do an mfa in "video art" and thankfully continue to work in that almost every day (usually minus the art).

I'm obsessed with films and watch at least one per day and I space it out with loads of reading and iporn... obviously kidding about the reading.

compulsively researches ancient Near Eastern civilizations, originally for a documentary but now for no good reason

likes animals

alienator of friends

not loud due to my vocal nodes

responds to negative reinforcement

Less than five people on earth dislike me.

semi-functioning semi-hypochondriac

takes comfort in statistics

My life is divided into two eras: before vampire diaries, after vampire diaries.

I missed the never-talk-to-strangers lesson. Sometimes I wish I hadn't.

went to good schools but still dumb as shit

notorious hollywood talker

ratchety

crass

probably not the guy who pissed in your friend's laundry bin at that party a while back

bff age range 22-72

Originator of the kitty/puppy technique. If you're not familiar it's because our social networks don't overlap.

have mostly worn variations of the same outfit my entire life, which is usually a combination of guys and girls clothes

Costumes get me into character.

I listen to music every waking second I'm not speaking to someone.

evil cackler

aspiring adult film screenwriter (it's tough to break in even with all the schooling)
What I’m doing with my life
subsisting on my charms and making art projects...mostly fucking off
I’m really good at
so few things
The first things people usually notice about me
stains on my shirt, fingerprints on my glasses, disarming inquiry at unexpected times
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: William S. Burroughs in reverse chronological order. Exactly that.

Movies: A Matter of Life and Death (that just happens to be the one that immediately comes to mind every time I'm asked, so I guess that's my favorite favorite). I love horror and Korean melodrama, and
Dead Alive, Evil Dead, Putney Swope, Time of the Gypsies, all James Ivory, Peyton Place, Yugoslav films.

TV: Nighty Night

Music: My taste is somewhere between that of a mid 40s gay dude and your grandmother. Also generally into electro pop, folk,80s, Balkan anthems, Princess Chelsea, Blondie, Marianne Faithfull, three 6 mafia, the weeknd, songs with mike will instrumentals, songs that remind me of Annie or Kylie. Also love the shit out of El Perro del Mar and Keep Shelly in Athens.

Food: things that remind me of how gasoline smells, also whitefish salad and diet coke
The six things I could never do without
art films
www.worldstarhiphop.com
my T4 (the camera not the medicine)
the right to own a gun, like duh, totes lol
occult folklore tv and radio programming
harem pants
I spend a lot of time thinking about
my future career as a country singer and whether or not these olives are still good. Something about diet mt. dew and new york city? Why are ghetto supermarkets more expensive than Wholefoods? The Ayruveda Cafe serves beer now, ok maybe now I'll go there. Would I actually consider doing eric stoltz if the opportunity were presented to me? Bummer music videos aren't rated R. What various professions sound like with "theoretical" as a prefix. Hmm, maybe I shoulda been an iwanker? Two computer monitors... at the same time. In the song "Gettin Jiggy wit It", what is "It"?
On a typical Friday night I am
watching a film or this.

sweating through shirts

living rap lyrics

reenacting scenes from wolf of wall street but with a lot less money
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I listen to this on repeat 24/7.

my cat has custom-made jewelry.

i'm a sixteen year old girl in many ways but i keep it in check.

gimme a metallic cardigan and i shine.

true colors gets me uh time after time

I will go to great lengths to amuse you.

i like sipping drinks through stir straws.

I wish I had a.d.d. Sadly no luck in that dept.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you got 99 problems and you're looking for one more.

this summarizes your thoughts after going through my profile.

you think Salò is funny.

you want to make 40oz gin martinis in nalgene bottles.

you have good penmanship and know how to glaze ceramic.

you have cable tv.

you like kylie.

you wanna play a game called photography.

any of the aforementioned bullshit stuck.

you wanna go to all-night karaoke and sing the fuck out of... jewel.

you want a commentary track throughout the day.