35 Oakland, CA
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My self-summary
Hey there. "hatzalam" means "the photographer" in Hebrew. It does not mean "hot salami", even though that's hilarious. My sense of humor could be described as sarcastic and dry, but sometimes it's damned obnoxious. I'm not always politically correct, and have been known to grind some people's gears occasionally. For work, I do IT for a company in SF. No, I am not a "brogrammer". I'd like to think of myself as a cross between a world-weary old man, and a child staring up at the sky. In other words, I ain't your average joe.

I do a totally accurate Gilbert Gottfried, a mediocre Woody Allen, and a barely passable Seinfeld. But I probably won't do any impressions the first time I meet you unless you ask. I'll save the awkward hilarity for later, probably.
What I’m doing with my life
Doing the startup thing in SF, and living in Oakland. Having a BFA in photography that I rarely get to use anymore, with the exception of various iPhone apps. Being the best dog owner I can be.
I’m really good at
singing Purple Rain and Pearl Jam at karaoke bars. Also, I like to think that I'm pretty good at the following: photography, writing, reading, creating variations in the key of C, and travelling off the beaten path.
The first things people usually notice about me
Hmm... the glasses? The beard? That I have naturally white teeth? That I might have a tiny bit of dog hair on my pants?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
TL;DR version:

Desert Island picks:
Music: Bach piano music played by Glenn Gould
Books: A few Kundera and Marquez books
Movie: Amadeus, Casablanca, and The Big Lebowski.
Food: Pad Thai

Long version:

Aimee Mann, Andrew Bird, Arcade Fire, J.S. Bach, Belle and Sebastian, Beirut, Bon Iver,Broken Social Scene, David Broza, Coldplay, Coltrane, The Cure, Johnny Cash, Miles Davis, Nick Drake, Brian Eno, Ella Fitzgerald, David Gray, Iron & Wine, Aimee Mann, Mozart, Michael Penn, Puccini, Radiohead, Damien Rice, Ron Sexsmith, The Shins, Sigur Ros, Sufjan Stevens, Mum, Springsteen, The Tallest Man on Earth,the whole Wainwright family, and my idol, Bob Dylan.


Amadeus, The Thin Red Line, The Big Lebowski, Casablanca, Blade Runner, Children of Men, The Unbearable Lightness of Being


The Book of Laughter and Forgetting, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Leaves of Grass, Franny and Zooey, The Dispossessed, Invisible Cities. Pretty much anything by Kundera, Marquez, and Salinger.


ST:TNG 4 LIFE. Also, X-files, The Wonder Years, South Park, House, Cosmos, Archer
The six things I could never do without
My Malamute, a camera, Radiolab, piano music, tea, and a really nice pillow.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I love me some existential angst.
I also love thinking about:
geography, astronomy, architecture, poetry, epicureanism, hedonism, Nietzsche, and how technology really is a double-edged sword these days.
On a typical Friday night I am
It used to be: going out to dinner or drinks with friends. Possibly in the city, possibly around here.
Nowadays, it's making sure my 1year-old dog doesn't rip up the carpet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't suffer from Peter Pan syndrome so much as Captain Hook syndrome. Also, I don't have as much hair on my head as I used to; testosterone's a thing.
You should message me if
if you can sing and/or play a musical instrument and want to collaborate on some songs.

if you can teach me new things.

if you have a witty, sarcastic sense of humor.

and, obviously,
if you're awesome.