I have an almost savant-like ability to memorize entire chunks of Wikipedia and numerous useless or esoteric facts, so I'm an asset to any trivia team.
My diet is overtly carnivorous, though I subscribe to a code of ethics where I will only eat an animal that I could defeat in hand-to-hand combat. Currently, I am in training to fight/eat an ostrich. To this end, I have corresponded with an Australian emu farmer who assures me that my fighting strategy is tactically sound.
I played Sweeper and Shortstop growing up and managed to not embarrass myself, if not be downright respectable at both. Despite my love of hockey, I am incapable of skating to save my life. I'm surprisingly adept at Greek dancing, though.
I enjoy the company of my buddies from different stages of life, and have exposed myself to their mockery, excuse me, to their *adoring, unbridled adulation* by sharing this profile with them.