Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Originally from Pittsburgh, land of bridges, sandwiches with French
fries, exemplars of masculinity, and sultry lasses. As such, I can
eat coal and defecate steel.
I have an almost savant-like ability to memorize entire chunks of
Wikipedia and numerous useless or esoteric facts, so I'm an asset
to any trivia team.
Currently accepting applications for a special lady who complements
me so that we are proud and happy to be with each other, so that I
wake up every morning ready to smash through life's obstacles the
way the Kool-Aid Man bursts through brick walls.
I played Sweeper and Shortstop growing up and managed to not
embarrass myself, if not be downright respectable at both. Despite
my love of hockey, I am incapable of skating to save my life. I'm
surprisingly adept at Greek dancing, though.
Not necessarily looking for casual sex, though it's had the
tendency of finding me from time to time.
I enjoy the company of my buddies from different stages of life,
and have exposed myself to their mockery, excuse me, to their
*adoring, unbridled adulation* by sharing this profile with them.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m in search of elusive experiences and attributes that lead to
virtue, happiness, and success. Seeking to feel one with the
Universe and interconnected to the rest of humanity. Aspiring to
extract every ounce of awesomeness I can from life before shedding
my mortal coil. Bonus if I can figure out how to iron a dress shirt
along this journey.
Also, I enjoy delicious chicken wings.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
* Optimizing snuggliness and cuddliness, be it on a park bench,
under a tree, on a couch binge-watching Netflix, or when
* Making you laugh whether you are happy, sad, and especially when
you are crying. The latter usually involves tears and mascara on
one of my t-shirts, a huge hug, and a kiss on the top of your
* Selecting and recommending quality craft brew
* Lifting up fairly heavy objects and moving them for periods of
time based purely on my disdain for gravity
* Raising Penguin Awareness
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My prototypical Greek schnozzola, followed by my sense of humor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Book: I travel everywhere with a worn copy of my favorite book.
Alexander the Great did so as well, and things turned out pretty
well for him.
Movie: This one’s a total litmus test as to compatibility. No
Music: Radiohead, Tame Impala, anything Josh Homme has ever done,
Greek music, stuff so underground that even Hipsters haven’t heard
of it, yet.
Food: Pretty much everything Greek, Italian, and Thai. Unless you
are cooking for me, in which case, I’m sure it’s delicious and I’ll
bring over the proper wine pairing.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
* Diet Dr. Pepper
* Weiner Dogs & Corgis
* Penguins (the animals and the Pittsburgh Hockey Team)
* Soccer/Proper Footballing
* The Series of Tubes known as "the Internets"
* Jerked meats of the Beef, Turkey, and Buffalo variety
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How you will probably make me jump through a bunch of hoops in this
bizarre paradigm we call "dating," but that witty banter and verbal
tango can become the foundation for some great memories and inside
jokes. How pragmatic it would be to have a pet Emperor Penguin. How
I wish to get back to Greece, visit my cousins in Australia, and
generally get a few more stamps on my passport in the next few
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Combating Negativity in Tallytown by infusing it with Optimism,
Truth, and Beauty.
Once I have triumphed over Sucktitude, I’m usually at the bar with
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once passed on hooking up with a girl because she had a Dave
Matthews poster in her room. I regret absolutely nothing about that
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are prepared to introduce an overwhelming amount of awesomeness
into your life and can accept that years later you’ll either be
thanking or cursing yourself for letting this guy into your life.
[References from ex-girlfriends available upon request.]
You have yet to experience true Steel City wit & charm.
You don’t take yourself too seriously. I have an accountant and an
attorney on retainer for those conversations.
**Above all**: Ladies, please quit messaging me with formulaic
tripe like, "Hey, Baby!" or asking me if I want to "bang" or "bone"
or "smash" you. And please cease sending me creepy PMs soliciting
pics of my dong. I am more than just a fetish, so before you write
something like that, ask yourself, "Would Audrey Hepburn or Grace
Kelly send this PM?"
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.