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jokeisonthesun

28 F New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Apr 19
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on university
Job
Politics / Government
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Not in any hurry to get old.

self-possessed. fiercely loyal, self-denying, hedonistic & an appreciator of popular culture despite sweeping gaps in my zeitgeist consumption. I'm sharp but prefer to be incisive. Sicilian & Irish. The stereotypes are true, but they are only the prologue.

I talk & read fast. I listen well. I determine the importance of things & people decisively, but those decisions can change. I like kind assholes, not douchebags. I'm generous with what I have. Odds are excellent that I'm funnier than you but I wish you were funnier than me. Cooking while listening to NPR is my least destructive vice. Are any of you Ira Glass?

Tl;dr City bitch drag.

I am the type of girl reddit believes does not exist. I love reddit. I exist.
What I’m doing with my life
I earned my silver hairs. Zero part of me thinks they're something to be covered up.

Student, coffee-slinger, niece-nanny, silent judger. Sleeping more than I used to has proven positive.

Currently on financially-induced leave from NYU. I: plan adventures & follow through, walk around alone happily (particularly like the top of central park on breezy days when the sun is out), drink you under the table & then feel a little self-conscious about it, take care of myself & my family & friends, stomp around in high heels & short skirts listening to kanye & jay & bey, dance my ass off, always want to lose ten pounds but not more than I want to eat ice cream for breakfast sometimes, wake up at 4 AM for work sometimes, & rely heavily on public transportation.
I’m really good at
explaining why asking college essay style questions on a first date is bad. making nice conversation with boring people, and making much better conversation with much better people. cooking spicy things. footing the bill. manners. finding good shit to do, doing good shit i am told to do. using data gathered from experiences to improve my swag. picking out & buying incredibly perfect gifts. showing up late. making you forget I showed up late. I am also the fastest person I've ever worked with on an espresso bar.
The first things people usually notice about me
eyes/// smile// ass/ attitude
not necessarily in that order.

Also, on two counts, "hey, she's not Latina... but great legs."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
authors: hunter s thompson, kim addonizio, neruda, bukowski, augusten burroughs, david foster wallace (who wrote the most dangerous short story I've ever read), raymond carver, marjane satrapi, bechdel, eduardo galeano, bell hooks, jose munoz, foucault, steinbeck, lydia davis, Chris ware.

movies: warrior, scorsese's oeuvre, the land before time, the sandlot, oldboy, true romance, queer as folk, the departed, gran turino, any sports movie ever. really. I find it really difficult to watch some graphic beatdowns, which kind of surprised me about myself (see: Green Street Hooligans).

constant: crazy smart poetic girls, badass unapologetic girls, ultracompetent men with good politics & beats, all old school girl groups (aside: these also comprise my ideal social group).

Comedians: Louis ck & mindy kaling & Tina Fey & mark twain & aziz ansari & going to a comedy club on a first date is a terrible idea if you're bad at making conversation beforehand.

Technically I think this whole section should be, "if you were a book/movie/food, what would you be."
The six things I could never do without
coffee, notebook, sun, solitude, sex, pen.

(non-tabasco hot sauce).
On a typical Friday night I am
not interested in this question.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
-i got the scar on my upper lip hilariously.
-two days after the lebronathon I had already dropped it twice as a metaphor. I feel like that's all anyone has to know about me
-I'm queer, but I've been strictly dickly for a few years now.
- this is actually a very sincere & weirdly intimate thing to reveal; but I'm certain that whoever I eventually fall for will not only find my penchant for reading while drinking alone in bars attractive, but will be totally comfortable doing that themself.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 27–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're the kind of guy who does not equate sex positivity with "disposable female."

You have sleepy, heavy-lidded eyes. As far as physical features go, that is one I can't help but kind of swoon over.

hard-line social republicans, sexual amateurs, illiterate culture vultures & and those attempting to out-bullshit a smartass need not apply. cocky, sincere assholes of every gender encouraged. I reserve the right to check out your bookshelf & will judge you accordingly.