Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Not in any hurry to get old.
self-possessed. fiercely loyal, self-denying, hedonistic & an
appreciator of popular culture despite sweeping gaps in my
zeitgeist consumption. I'm sharp but prefer to be incisive.
Sicilian & Irish. The stereotypes are true, but they are only
I talk & read fast. I listen well. I determine the importance
of things & people decisively, but those decisions can change.
Convince me. I like kind assholes, not douchebags. I'm generous
with what I have. Odds are excellent that I'm funnier than you but
I wish you were funnier than me. Cooking while listening to NPR is
my least destructive vice. Are any of you Ira Glass?
Tl;dr City bitch drag. I am trying not to respond to so many
asinine assholes while drinking, so if y'all could do me a favor
and take a permanent break from getting in touch with me that would
I am the type of girl reddit believes does not exist. I love
reddit, or I did, or I believe reddit was worth loving and is worth
saving... anyway, I exist.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I earned my silver hairs. Zero part of me thinks they're something
to be covered up.
Sleeping more than I used to has proven positive.
Currently starting my senior year of my BSW for free- remember
those halcyon days of 18 & college was about independence and
falling in love and cheap beer and a green bicycle and finals
period that fugued quickly into under-ramp art projects and long
discussions about tender mistakes and the next day and the day
I do, but now I want to work in a career where I feel like I'm
using my intellect for more than being everyone's favorite barista.
Tried management, it didn't agree with me (or I with it). Since
dropping that track I've gotten physically stronger, become a mom
to a french bulldog, my blood pressure and resting heart rate have
gone down, and I no longer wake up in a startle that I forgot to
lock the door or schedule someone to open the store.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
explaining why asking college essay style questions on a first date
is bad. making nice conversation with boring people, and making
much better conversation with much better people. cooking spicy
things. footing the bill. manners. finding good shit to do, doing
good shit i am told to do. using data gathered from experiences to
improve my swag. picking out & buying incredibly perfect gifts.
showing up late. making you forget I showed up late. I am also the
fastest person I've ever worked with on an espresso bar.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
eyes/// smile// ass
not necessarily in that order.
Two of my coworkers have asked me if my butt is real.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
authors: hunter s thompson, kim addonizio, neruda, bukowski,
augusten burroughs, david foster wallace (who wrote the most
dangerous short story I've ever read), raymond carver, marjane
satrapi, bechdel, eduardo galeano, bell hooks, jose munoz,
foucault, steinbeck, lydia davis, Chris ware.
movies: warrior, scorsese's oeuvre, the land before time, the
sandlot, oldboy, true romance, queer as folk, the departed, gran
turino, any sports movie ever. really. I find it really difficult
to watch some graphic beatdowns, which kind of surprised me about
myself (see: Green Street Hooligans).
constant: crazy smart poetic girls, badass unapologetic girls,
ultracompetent men with good politics & beats, all old school
girl groups (aside: these also comprise my ideal social
Comedians: Louis ck & mindy kaling & Tina Fey & mark
twain & aziz ansari & going to a comedy club on a first
date is a terrible idea if you're bad at making conversation
Technically I think this whole section should be, "if you were a
book/movie/food, what would you be."
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
coffee, notebook, sun
(non-tabasco hot sauce).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How come if so many guys think taking selfies makes them look
attractive, they're not better at it?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
not interested in this question.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've experienced enough bullshit to know exactly what I don't need
to be scared of.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
HEY SOME ADVICE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO WASTE ANYONE'S TIME:
don't send me a message like you're IMing me (ie: hi, hello, hi can
I get to know you, hi can we talk, hey how's your night going, hi
beautiful, etc ad infinitum). This may seem a little harsh to those
of you not in possession of a female designation on this website,
but I'm tired of ignoring these. I'm tired of the people who send
them. If you're one of those people just move along, we won't get
You should message me if you're the kind of guy who does not equate
sex positivity with "disposable female."
You should message me if you found it easy to write a self summary
because you live with yourself and you know what works and what
doesn't and you know what you want and how much you want to tell
strangers about it. Being befuddled and aw-shucks about being asked
to describe yourself is some bullshit. Seriously?
You can deal with the fact that without lessening the veracity of
everything above, I am riddled with insecurities.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.