I'm looking for my ideal zombie apocalypse survival buddy. Intimate knowledge of zombie biology and behaviorology a huge plus! Don't know how to survive in a zombie apocalypse? No worries! For the low price of going on a date with me, you too can learn how to survive in a barren, desolate, zombie infested wasteland! Apply now by clicking 'Send Message'. But wait, there's more! Apply within' the first 10 minutes of opening this profile and receive not one, not two, but THREE free sessions! We are so sure of our product that we are graciously giving away THREE free sessions! Still not satisfied after your trial period? No worries, just cancel before the trial ends and we'll throw in 4 weeks worth of ammunition and rations after your trial period ends! Just pay $19.95 Shipping & Handling.
Some basics about me:
• I am half German and half Puerto Rican
• I was born in New York and raised in Georgia
• I speak English, German, sarcasm, and bullshit, fluently. My Spanish is non existent
• I used to live in Germany for a total of 6 years, for the military
• I do very well for myself financially
• I own a black, 6-speed, 2014 Genesis Coupe 3.8 Ultimate (pictures above)
• I secretly wish we could have a zombie apocalypse
• I have a great sense of humor that ranges all over the board from crude, to sexual, to racial, to witty, to nerdy, and even the all-time favorite 'corny/lame'
• I'm a nerd 100%. I love video games, anime, and manga. And Yes... I have a 3DS XL and I play Pokémon on it
• I have been on here since December of 2011. It is my deduction that a large majority of the "woman" on here just want to flaunt cutesy pictures of themselves, only use this site/app to chat "because a friend recommended this site/app", or just got out of a bad breakup/marriage and just want a fling... Sorry, ladies. If any of these apply to you, then chances are things won't work between us... I won't be your pick-me-up, I won't be your free meal ticket, and I am not going to be your rebound. I'm looking for a genuine relationship and I will not settle for anything less.
What I am looking for in a girl:
I would like to meet a girl that-
• has similar interests as mine, but also her own, fun, and quirky hobbies
• has an 'out there' personality and isn't afraid to speak up and talk shit to me
• has a very witty sense of humor and can dish things out, like an evil scourge
• is adventurous and enjoys travelling and going on vacations
• actually enjoys staying home from time to time and not out at "da club" every weekend
and most importantly
• I would like to meet a girl that > does not use the words 'bae', 'nigga', 'swag', or yolo' in their every day vocabulary.