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joshuajamesj

32 M Auburn, AL

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:17pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Education
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Arrived here from the west coast (California and Vancouver, Canada) so everything is still a little bit different.

A "self-summary" huh? Well, everyone should know that self-reports are highly unreliable. So, given this, you should know that I am a demi-god to the people of Festivus Island, a small island near Christmas Island, and its main source of competition for resources. I recently invented the colour "clear", which will be appearing in the Crayola Big Box, but you may need to look hard to find it. And *bam* ... I just now invented the monotonic scale. Also, I have ghost written three autobiographies for Socrates (corresponding to the early, middle, and late dialogues), which are going to be made into a movie directed by Michael Bay, with Danny Devito playing Socrates himself. In my spare time I am a midwife at my local veterinary hospital, decider of all things good, just, and awesome, and an avid water-snooker player.
What I’m doing with my life
Being all philosophical and stuff through teaching and writing.
I’m really good at
... dressing myself (but not doing laundry).
... speaking (but not in other languages).
... noticing things (but not when I shouldn't).
... being on-time (but not when I should).
... entertaining myself (but not in a weird way).
The first things people usually notice about me
This scene has never happened in my life:

Joshua walks into a room and sees someone there. Joshua approaches the stranger, stands there, and then asks "Excuse me, what was the first thing you noticed about me?"

If it did, then it may play out like this:

Stranger: "uhh... excuse me?"
Joshua: "Of course, let me explain. I just walked into this room and no doubt commanded your attention. So, what was the first thing you noticed about me?"
Stranger: "Do I know you?"
Joshua: "..."
Stranger: "I'm sorry I don't understand what's going on"
Joshua: "Right. You see I have to answer this question for OKCupid, and I don't know what it is. So, to state the facts: I walked into this room. I stood. All I want to know is what you noticed."
Stranger: "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't really pay any attention to you."
Joshua (GASPING): "Surely you jest. I mean come on..."
[Joshua steps back and pirouettes]
Stranger: "Fine. I suppose the first thing I noticed is that you are wearing no clothing."
Joshua: "I thought so."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: The Whiskers, Tom Waits, Timber Timbre, Yeasayer, The Smiles and Frowns, Radiohead, Cake, Patrick Watson, Mumford and Sons, The Avett Brothers, Bowerbirds, The Decembrists, and others mostly of an "indie" vibe.

Books: Big fan of Iris Murdoch. Also like: The Big Sleep, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, Death in Venice (and other short stories), The Strain (wasn't too bad), The Hot Zone, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, Middlesex, and others I cannot remember.

Movies: Love Movies. A lot. Currently a fan of Ingmar Bergman and the Coen Brothers.

TV: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, The Wire, In Treatment, Firefly, House, Black Books, Californication, Archer, Community, Castle, Doctor Who, Being Human (BBC), Sherlock (BBC), The Strain, Breaking Bad, Coupling (BBC), Wilfred, Derek, House of Cards. Netflix is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread.

Food: Yeah, I eat. I like good food too (I'm terribly informative).
The six things I could never do without
(in no specific order I suppose)
1) The internet
2) Art
3) Plumbing
4) Air conditioning
5) Books
6) Leisure time (for the consumption of said art).

(is this too literal??)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
... how best to procrastinate (which is procrastination in-itself! FTW).
... what song to play next.
... what mood I'm in.
... how my laptop ended up on a frying pan in the kitchen the next morning.
... what my life would be like if I stayed a drummer.
... how best to answer questions.
On a typical Friday night I am
enjoying a drink and conversation. Really, not too much different from the other days. Sometimes I talk to myself though. So, that may be different.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I want to own a Pho restaurant and call it "Phocus". Nah ... not really, but I'd definitely go to a Pho restaurant with such a cool name.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
an existential crisis hits ... or if you are interested ... or if you are commanded by a "I dare you" ... or if you have some time to kill between going to the kitchen and going to the couch (assuming your computer is in neither of these two locations) ... or, you know, if you want to.