I am a polyamorous, straight, childfree white guy, 48, 5'9", 200 lbs., smart, funny, unpretentious, decent cook, good listener, loyal friend, inventive lover, occasionally annoying. Sometimes seeking nonsmoking, open-hearted, straight or bisexual woman within 100 miles of Boston who has room in her life for another to share fun days, kinky nights, delicious mornings.

Just to be clear, when I say I'm "poly" (or that I'm into "polyamory") what I mean is that I prefer open relationships (non-exclusive) conducted with honesty and integrity. Yes, this means that my lovers know about each other; no, most of them haven't met each other.

Also, by "childfree" I mean that I am not interested in having or raising children. Having said that, I am certainly open to meeting women who do have or want children, just as long as we're clear about my limits. No, this does not mean that I dislike children, just that I don't want to become a parent or guardian. I have a number of people in my life with children, and from time to time *when I'm up for it* I visit them, have a great time, and then go home to my hectic but quiet, childfree life.

How you feel about yourself, how you treat other people, and whether you have room in your life for another are much more important to me than your age, race, or "looks." On the surface I may appear to be your typical, nerdy "nice" guy but there's a whole lot more to me than meets the eye. Fairness, compassion, acceptance, and integrity are core values for me.

I live a few miles west of Boston, I work out, I don't drink, but don't mind being around social drinkers. I am drug- and disease-free. I'm nonreligious, but I respect other people's choices.

I can offer an open mind, generous heart, joyful spirit, devilish tongue, firm hands, shoulders strong enough to lean on, and arms gentle enough for cuddling and holding you while you sleep. I'm a Bondage/BDSM "switch," meaning that sometimes I like to "Top," other times I like the "bottom" role, and sometimes I just like "vanilla." Clear communication, asking for what you want, and respecting all limits are key.

Running my business, enjoying time with friends and lovers, making time for myself, working on getting enough sleep.

Connecting with open-hearted people, noticing ambiguity, being supportive, 2 weeks later thinking of what I *could* have said.

My wonderful brown eyes, I'm told.

Given my schedule I don't have a lot of time to read books or go to movies; make me an offer! I like many kinds of music, from Carole King to Cole Porter. I enjoy fun, varied, tasty food, ethnic or American, especially with good company and fun conversation!

IF the title above says "The SIX things I could never do without:"

THEN my answer is, in no particular order: affection, touching, compassion, fairness, sex, being permitted to *give*, and pancakes

IF the title is anything else

THEN my answer is: Someday, when the folks who run okcupid have grown out of their juvenile stage, they'll stop changing the title of this item.

music, food, taking care of myself, other people, relationships

You never know - working with a client, food shopping, watching some trashy television, having a hot date with a lover, having dinner with a good friend, enjoying some alone time...

While I'm thoughtful and heart-centered, I'm also a very strong person. You wanted something kinkier? Send me a message!

You want to connect with a warm guy with more going on beneath the surface than you'd expect. You can also often find me online on Yahoo Messenger as "BondageLover617," but since I'm receiving *lots* of IM spam these days, please mention that you found me on okcupid.