Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


35 Maryland Heights, MO Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–99
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 11
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Post grad
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I manage a team of Business Analysts that design new applications and implement new business for a local managed care company. I like to try new restaurants, ride the Katy Trail, and go out and have a drink with friends.

My optimal search includes someone who is ambitious, likes to have company, enjoys dressing up for a show, and has big goals for their life.

But that's not all:
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a dynamic figure often seen in the same daily outfit from week to week, guzzling cups of coffee. I have been known to remodel entire fulfillment centers on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of product distribution. I translate large amount of business rules into programming code, just to find out the application already exists. In the evenings, I write classical piano music; inspired by dreams, lost love, and old episodes of Bonanza.

Occasionally, as a child, I sold: wax candles shaped like fruit, calendars, and assorted bulk candies out of Tupperware containers walking door-to-door all over St.Charles County. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed as most of my ex-girlfriends will begrudgingly admit. I am an expert in Ramon noodle cuisine, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Illinois depending on your definition.

Using only the space in my bedroom and my wit, I once convinced my parents to take FEMA money and house a displaced family in it during the devastating flood of 1993. This decision both increased our family's revenue and saved another family from extreme hardship. I only mention it, because soon after, the entire neighborhood replicated the idea and the one lady married the neighbor, so I'm responsible for their children's lives. I should also mention, that I always let people merge onto the highway.

I was, for a short time, a sponsored skateboarder. When I'm bored, I redesign car interiors, and install home and car stereo systems. On a random day one summer, I looked out the window and watched a tree fall on my car for no reason. On Wednesdays, after work, I go to the local university and tutor underprivileged youth. I am an abstract artist and a concrete analyst. This December, I'll be finishing my fourth degree. I consistently find myself trying to find ways to call people by their first name in public service- it's just the right thing to do, and I think it makes them feel good.

I have been caller number nine, and I have called into late night conspiracy talk radio shows and actually solved the conspiracy. Last summer I met a guy who looks exactly like me. Turns out, he is an adopted biological brother my mother never told me about. When I was a teenager, I would collect people's lighters and catalog them with the name and date of the person. I'm writing a book about the methods by which I'm returning them, and how the people have changed; now twenty years later.

My uncle who is a hunter invited me up to the shooting range a couple years ago. I out-shot him and all his buddies. Having never before fired a shot, they never invited me back. Speaking of weapons, another time, I successfully negotiated my life from a man who was holding me hostage with a knife to my neck. I have been held hostage twice, a second time by a man in a classroom with a gun. I won both times; although regarding the second time, I had to later paid his library fine based on a book he lent me previous to the hostage situation. I feel like it's my responsibility to keep my word.

All of my bills are paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I take accredited university courses. One summer, after awaking from meditation, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down, because I was distracted by the cuteness of a kitten. All I remember is the word "When," which leads me to believe the meaning of everyone's life is a nebulous idea or event in their future. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only venison, Ramon noodles, sweet tea, and ginger.

I've run political campaigns, I've driven ambulances to emergencies, I've performed CPR, I've disassembled pinball machines, I've taught high school foreign language classes, I've played the leading roles in musicals, I've won middle school level spelling bees, and I've designed corporate information factories. I'm currently awaiting a decision on being academically published in the area of data architecture. I can freehand draw a nearly perfect replica of a Mercator map of the world.

All of my possessions can fit into the back seat of a late-model import sedan.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
translating lofty ideas into various computer languages, writing, collecting strange things, and policy debates.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is that I always show up well-dressed.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ishmael by Daniel Quinn.
House of Cards on Netflix.
Everything from pharcyde to radiohead to Chopin.
I like doing something interesting or different going out for dinner (outside the normal Americana).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
my list of un-answerable questions, everything else comes down to objectivism. I'm also consistently amazed that everyone in my feed is in Chicago. Why do most women's profiles sound like an Alanis Morisette song?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
sitting around watching something funny or out with friends. Maybe hanging out in my velvet slippers. If velvet slippers bother you it's just a head's up.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is that I am willing to lie about where we met. I'm a MNMLST, you'll be shocked.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you let people merge on the highway.