"Doug: the build-up will lead to eventual disappointment."
I love dressing nice but sometimes I look like a bum. I have yet to be given change, though. People are jerks.
I love to travel when I can. Europe was great. Except for the smells. Man oh man, those smells.
I love playing nerdy board games with my nerdy dude friends. Nerd is the new cool, right? That's what I mutter into the darkness as I cry myself to sleep every night.
I love strawberries and Malbec! But, wait, not at the same time. That just seems irresponsible.
I want more tattoos. Like, um, maybe five more. See, you just never know when you want a portrait of every member of the Jackson 5 permanently etched onto your naked flesh.
"If I was stranded on a desert island and could only take one thing, it'd be Douglas."
Love is just a bloodsport, son.