Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've revised my profile from what it was a few years ago because
even though many of my interests have remained the same, my
thoughts on what is important to me in a relationship have been
evolving over that time.
I have a strong drive and ambition to challenge myself and continue
to improve in all aspects of my life, and some of that focus does
show up in my relationships – I prefer personal, more intimate
in-depth connections over large groups of acquaintances. Some of
the best moments with a partner are simply getting to know each
other better over time. I enjoy sharing the ups and downs of each
other’s day, ideas that are important to us, our worries and
desires. We have our own interests and pursuits, but we are excited
and passionate about each other and truly enjoy spending time
together. I want to support my partner in whatever goals she may
have and challenge her to reach them, just as I want her to know
and understand me deeply.
One thing she will find out is that I love discussing issues and
figuring out "how and why". Although I consider myself more
intuitive than deductive, I have always had a love for most fields
of science - a fascination with nature and how the world works.
After a very fun, exciting and successful 18 year career in 3D
Computer graphics and six years of research in physics, I now mix
my time between science and software so I get the best of two
exciting career interests in my life.
Honesty, openness, and communication are very important to me - my
partner needs to be able to tell me what she is thinking and
feeling, be it nurturing or painful. I need her to be self-aware so
that she and I can sit down and calmly express our wants and needs,
have the desire to discuss issues or concerns that either one of us
may harbor and work together towards understanding and resolution.
I would hope that this process is important to her too; she has
experience with it and it does not scare her. Ultimately I believe
that this process leads to deep intimacy and emotional and physical
connection with each other.
A few odds and ends: I combine a passion for exercise with a love
of stunning natural vistas -- biking in the hills or skiing in the
snow-capped mountains of Colorado. I read extensively, love my
animals deeply, and continue to dance regularly after more than 20
years practicing and enjoying the art. Movies are fun if they
aren't violent or supernatural flicks. I'm not much into fast cars,
big crowds, religion, loud music, or drinking. I enjoy live
theatre, particularly musicals and a capella concerts. I'm very
smart, funny in a silly way, and I read a lot. I love dogs!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
For about 20 years I was very passionate about computers and had a
great first career – started my own business for while, sold it,
did a lot of consulting, and ended up working at a very successful
graphics company in Silicon Valley. In 2006, I realized I wanted to
make some changes in my life so I left the computer industry for a
while to explore some other interests that were important to
I have always been very athletic and love outdoor activities, but
in recent years that has been a bit less of a focus for me. I still
do a solid workout daily for about an hour, and I can certainly
enjoy a bike ride out to the coast, or a long day of non-stop
tennis, but the desire to do that day in and day out isn’t there
anymore. During the winter I love to spend a couple weeks skiing –
usually a week in Aspen, and perhaps another trip or a sprinkling
of jaunts to Tahoe.
I take my dog rollerblading frequently (well, she is getting older,
so it is more like fast walking), love to see live theatre and
enjoy eating really excellent food – from fine dining to delicious
authentic hole in the wall restaurants.
Dancing has also been a passion of mine for almost 20 years and I
have done a little bit of everything – ballroom sequences, folk and
international, square, country western, although most of my time
now is spent on Salsa, Swing, and Country Two Step. You’ll find me
on the dance floor pretty regularly once a week even if just for an
hour or two.
I hadn’t done that much traveling until the last few years. Time in
a beautiful or romantic setting with a partner is wonderful, but I
do not feel a compulsion to travel the world and see
In 2007, I decided to re-focus my ‘work life’ on pure science –
something that I have been passionate about since undergrad days --
so I started the PhD program in physics at UC Berkeley. It was fun
for a few years, but I decided for various reasons not to finish
the PhD in 2010 and left then with a masters. I still love doing
research and continue to work on many unsolved problems in physics
-- right now, ab initio materials properties discovery and
computation. My life is pretty balanced and flexible these days and
there are many things I am interested in doing in life, so my work
is just one part of a pleasing whole for me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
communicating, partner dancing, playing sports (but not watching
them -- I know nothing about prof or college sports), being
supportive of my partner.
Good communication and honesty are extremely important to me
regardless of the specific type of relationship I am in. I’ve put
in a great deal of effort over the years to be self-aware so I can
know what I want and need and be able to express those needs
clearly. Just as important, I have learned to really listen and
hear what the other person is saying so I can understand her
position and we can both get what is important to us, whether it be
resolving a disagreement, making a mutual decision, or just
improving our understanding of each other, learning what works and
is pleasing for the other person.
Also, while my belief in honesty is unwavering, delivery is
important :-) and kindness and compassion count. This means that as
a general rule, I am patient, understanding, helpful, loyal and
supportive. I don’t get mad easily, nor do I brood, or make
annoying sarcastic comments.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think this has been all over the map. A few people have told me
over the years they noticed my energy – I don’t bounce around or
anything; it tends to be quite subtle, but they commented that I am
a very positive person, always curious and questing.
Others have said that I appear to be intense – I can see this as
well, but not so much that I never relax. I do try very hard,
though, at whatever I am learning / doing in the moment, not to the
point of getting all bothered if it doesn’t work out right, but I
tend to enjoy a game more, say, if everyone is trying to play their
Still others have said that I appear to be very stable; is this a
contradiction with the ‘intense’ assessment?? I have tried to
cultivate the ability to hold my own center in spite of ups and
downs in the world and people around me so this makes sense. This
is a tricky business, though, staying connected and yet distinct
from the influences around me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
When I am not reading to learn (which usually involves textbooks,
journal articles, etc.), I read almost exclusively fiction. While
the exact genre is not that important, I seek out authors who are
excellent storytellers. David Brin, Orson Scott Card and John
McDevitt are some examples.
I did go through a phase when I read modern day romance novels, --
go figure – and I am trying out some of the more popular books of
the last few years like “The Tipping Point”, “Omnivore’s Dilemma”,
etc.. They are OK and do have some fascinating commentaries, but my
sense of things so far is that I will always enjoy a great tale
I love to see movies – usually prefer viewing them on the big
screen rather than at home – but rarely do I see films that I think
are particularly memorable. They are more, good solid fun, but also
just passing entertainment.
I’m not sure how to describe my musical genre tastes except to list
a few of the groups I like: Patchwork, City Folk, Jim Croce, Dar
I am something of a foodie and really enjoy fine dining from just
about any region of the world, but as long as the food is
particularly yummy, I am good with a variety of ambiances. I’m out
for a nice meal about once every week or two.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Yes, this is WAY more than six, but I only numbered them to 5 so
people wouldn’t notice :-)
1) emotional and physical intimacy, excitement about and connection
with a partner
2) something interesting to study, learn, think about, discuss and
3) good tasty organic food, occasional uncrowded wilderness
4) regular exercise, beloved pets
5) personal growth, introspection, being authentic
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
1) Physics. Yes, I do love it and there are so many interesting
unsolved problems to ponder!.
2) Myself. At this point I think I know myself reasonably well, but
there is always more to discover and it is not like we are static
beings either. Our personalities, needs, desires, likes, goals,
etc.. are constantly changing. I like learning about myself, as
well as the process of doing so.
3) World Issues – anything like energy, the environment, social
issues, economic policy. I love discussing these topics as well,
although I am not an activist, and I don’t get involved in
politics. It is more just an interesting challenge to try and
understand and/or solve really large scale problems.
4) Relationships and dynamics amongst people, both in a general
sense as well as specifically with people with whom I have a
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hmm. This may be misleading because I don’t know that Friday night
is a good representative night for me. I usually dance one evening
a week, although I am a slight hiatus now. A nice meal out or a
play in SF is another possibility. However I am often home on
Friday nights reading, playing my guitar, or working on an
interesting project. If I am in a relationship, then I would
probably be spending time with my partner after the week. I do
occasionally go to a movie or play tennis a little later in the
evening and then relax in my hottub in the backyard.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don’t really have many privacy issues, which doesn’t mean that I
am simply going to broadcast every little detail about my life to
the outside world. But if we are talking and there are things you
want to know about me / my past / my thoughts, about pretty much
any subject, just ask. I’m open; I have no taboo subjects, and
don’t have embarrassment issues talking about anything. And if for
some reason I really don’t want to say, I’ll just tell you that –
no hard feelings.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
.. you feel so inspired! While ultimately I am looking for a long
term relationship, along the way (and particularly right now), I am
open to other types of relationships, from friendships to short
term to more casual dating or flings. So, whether you just have a
question about something I wrote, or there is a tidbit in my
profile that intrigues you and you’d like to talk and learn more
about each other, or you’d like to play tennis, dine or have some
other event or activity in mind, you are looking to get together a
group for some outing, or you think there might be some chemistry
between us and you’d like to explore that, please feel free to
write. I just expect honesty and friendliness in our interactions –
you’ll definitely get these from me. Regardless of what OKC says
about how often I reply to messages, I do respond to any friendly
email that I receive.
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