Okay, that's a lie.
But I am a geek, some have even said I'm a bit of a nerd. I LOVE board games, reading, and identifying the occasional duck. I've often been quoted as exclaiming such observations as "that's a mallard." Usually, before I go down the long, philosophical path of discussing what a mallard truly is, it's better to just kind of tell me to shut up.
Politics are fun, but only insofar as no one's feelings are hurt. I like banter. But I don't need it. Speaking of kneading, I enjoy baking. I will bake the occasional loaf of bread, and recently made a batch of delicious French Macarons. Which brings me to the third, most important part of who I am. I'm not gay. I like to bake, but I'm straight.
I know, you're thinking to yourself, "sure he's straight (read with sarcasm). He bakes. I bet he does it in a big pink apron, prances around the kitchen, sings songs toward his broom while twirling about as if it were a curvy, female Goddess when no one is looking." And while that is most certainly the case, I promise you, I'm not gay.
I really like reading. But I don't endure any of that prattle most people love to pick up at their local bookstores. I'm into thicker, more substantial books. In my off time I read the dictionary, [only] the last Harry Potter book, various books in languages I don't know, and anything else I can find that has at least 2,000 pages. Does that make me a prick? Probably. But it's way better than reading books that I might actually enjoy....
Ok, so you've made it this far, and you probably are thinking to yourself, "why did I keep reading?"
Valid question. Let me make it worth your while.
As a guy on this site, it's hard to get messages. And if you actually message a girl, well, you're probably a creep. So, there I admit it, we guys are creeps. But I am not. I am the picture of classlessness certainly, but not a creep. So why not make all this reading actually worth something and send me a message? I spent like 4 hours constructing this very sarcastic, very dry humored bit of prose, and they didn't even turn out that great. So, have some pity dammit, send me a message that says something like "high five awesome person. I like the cut of your jib." Also, I am a graduate of an Ivy League school... if you're into that sort of thing. Doesn't really mean much, but if you weren't impressed by my knowledge of ducks, maybe that would be something you can hang your hat on.