Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


33 Tucson, AZ Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Aug 30
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Used up
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Post grad
Might want kids
Has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a sporadic writer.

I am an attorney by day with dreams of being an artist or a comedian by night. I also enjoy ice cream and self-discovery. But not at the same time, that could be dangerous.

I guess I have to expand this to 500 word to keep progressing this stupid thing. Other things worth noting: I still have both my appendix and tonsils. I have fought the law and I've won. I am not the droid you are looking for. I used to have pierced ears.

Shit, this is as bad as when I had to write those personal statements when I was applying to law school. Maybe I should cut and paste one of those... *reads through old doc files* Oh. Oh God no. Nevermind. I'm going to pretend these things never existed. Um, I enjoy long walks on the beach. Talking late into the night. Cock fighting. And I pray we'll find intelligent life somewhere in the universe within my lifetime.

And that life is sexy.

Am I at 500 words yet?

I am drunk, savage, and nihilistic. I'm easy going, outside of my job. I really enjoy politics, mostly in the same way crazy people enjoy watching car wrecks. I like to drink, watch movies and sports, play video games and read when I have the time.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Um, I work for the government. It's every bit as glorious as they make it in the movies. I sometimes am stuck at work for hours after I finish just signing autographs. And I'm a lawyer. Insert your own joke.

Aside from that, I'm paying a mortgage, feeding a cat, and learning random new skills until I get bored and never master them.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Snarky witticisms, arguing, presenting myself in front of others so they think I'm a competent human being.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no idea. No one comes up to me on the street and is like, "DUDE, check out your _____!" And if they did, I'd probably run away. I guess my beard?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't believe in reading. But I like Hunter S. Thompson, Neal Stephenson, H.P. Lovecraft, and both ____ R.R.(s). I think you can extract from there...

Tool, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Jay-Z, Outkast, Eminem, CCR, Pink Floyd, Beatles, U2, Mumford and Sons, REM, I can just keep going...

TV Shows:
House, Firefly, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Daily Show, Louie, Bob's Burgers, Psych, Game of Thrones, Archer, Breaking Bad...

Pulp Fiction, LOTR, Shawshank Redemption, Serenity, Donnie Darko, A.I., Clerks, Chasing Amy, Star Warseses, Ghostbusters, Wall-E, and, of course, the greatest legal movie of all time, My Cousin Vinny.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I hate this question. I've never come up with a great answer. Um...

Coffee, the constitution, hot wings, the internet... heroin... wait... not the last one. Dammit, I gave it a good try. And you probably stopped reading this profile ages ago. Let's just all call it a day and go home. Okay?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Taking over the world?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
It's going to be some combination of four options:

A) Drunk

B) Playing Video Games/Watching Movies

C) Asleep

D) Coaching Mock Fucking Trial
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I dreamed (dreamt?) of going on Survivor, back when it was popular.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to. Jeez.