I have a blog. I am a sporadic writer. It is pretentious, because, why else would I have one: http://squidpq.blogspot.com/ - I'm a shameless self-promoter. Deal with it.

I am an attorney by day with dreams of being an artist or a comedian by night. I also enjoy ice cream and self-discovery. But not at the same time, that could be dangerous.

I guess I have to expand this to 500 word to keep progressing this stupid thing. Other things worth noting: I still have both my appendix and tonsils. I have fought the law and I've won. I am not the droid you are looking for. I used to have pierced ears.

Shit, this is as bad as when I had to write those personal statements when I was applying to law school. Maybe I should cut and paste one of those... *reads through old doc files* Oh. Oh God no. Nevermind. I'm going to pretend these things never existed. Um, I enjoy long walks on the beach. Talking late into the night. Cock fighting. And I pray we'll find intelligent life somewhere in the universe within my lifetime.

And that life is sexy.

Am I at 500 words yet?

I am drunk, savage, and nihilistic. I'm easy going, outside of my job. I really enjoy politics, mostly in the same way crazy people enjoy watching car wrecks. I like to drink, watch movies and sports, play video games and read when I have the time; stereotypical guy things. I like to go out with friends but am generally a more hang-around-a-house-and-bullshit sort of person.

Just bought a house. And I've got a dead end job. It's the American dream, baby.

Snarky witticisms, arguing, presenting myself in front of others so they think I'm a competent human being.

The parrot on my shoulder.

I don't believe in reading. But I like Hunter S. Thompson, Neal Stephenson, H.P. Lovecraft, and both ____ R.R.(s). I think you can extract from there...

Music:
Tool, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Jay-Z, Outkast, Eminem, CCR, Pink Floyd, Beatles, U2, Mumford and Sons, REM, I can just keep going...

TV Shows:
House, Firefly, Chuck, Daily Show, Burn Notice, Psych, Game of Thrones, Archer, Breaking Bad...

Movies:
Pulp Fiction, LOTR, Shawshank Redemption, Serenity, Donnie Darko, A.I., Clerks, Chasing Amy, Star Warseses, Ghostbusters, Wall-E, and, of course, the greatest legal movie of all time, My Cousin Vinny.

My dogs, electricity, loved ones, oxygen, foods, water.

Taking over the world?

It's going to be some combination of four options:

A) Drunk

B) Playing Video Games/Watching Movies

C) Asleep

D) Coaching Mock Fucking Trial

I dreamed of going on Survivor, back when it was popular.

You are interesting.