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113 Washington, DC Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19-100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Nov 11, 2014
3' 0" (0.91m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Might want kids
Has dogs and Has cats
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a 110y/o Japanese-Korean man who stands almost three feet tall and is morbidly obese. That handsome young man in the pictures is my grandson. He's married and quite vain. One day he will look like me, a 110y/o Japanese-Korean man who stands almost three feet tall and is morbidly obese.

If you're reading this then there must be something wrong with you. Who searches okcupid for 110y/o Asian men? I'm poor too, what's wrong with you?

On the weekdays I enjoy waking up in the morning and watching The Price Is Right while sipping a lukewarm glass Metamucil. Sometimes I go to the park and pretend I'm waiting for a friend.

Saturdays the nurse comes over and gives me a sponge bath. When I was a younger man in my 80s I thought I'd have a hot young thing running that sponge up and down my shriveled body. Whoever heard of a boy nurse anyway? Damn fruitcakes.

On Sundays I like to visit my friends. It always takes a few hours because I have to catch the bus to the flower shop on one end of town, and then I have to catch another bus back to the cemetery on the other end of town. Incontinence makes this trip something of an adventure.

I am subtle, caustic, and insomniatic.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing semi-elaborate stories to go with the awards I'm arbitrarily throwing out to my friends. Daydreaming about owning my own bookshop. Begging forgiveness. Not asking permission. Getting tipsy in the day time.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
"sarcastic humor that scatters papercuts all over your ego. You'll enjoy it just as much as jumping in a chlorinated pool if your body were really covered with papercuts, unless you're a bit sadomasochistic." -mystik__spiral

So let us be clear, it is your ego that I'm after. The rest of you is just collateral damage.

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm older than they thought I was because I look younger than I am.
I am told that one day I'll appreciate this. That day has come. I'm
glad I still look sexy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Perks of being a Wallflower, His Dark Materials, Tick Tock, The Sun Also Rises, The Dubliners, Staying Alive (poetry anthology), For Whom the Bell Tolls, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Wakoski Poetry, many more.

Movies: Charlotte Sometimes, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Casablanca, Serenity, Gattaca, Mystery Men, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, Kill Bill 1&2, Army of Darkness, The Red Violin, Crash, Gattaca (TV) Farscape, Venture Brothers, Firefly, Daria, Battlestar Galactica

Music: Cat Power, Skunk Anansie, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Rilo Kiley, Low, The Cardigans, The Dears, The Doves, Elliott Smith, Frank Sinatra, Guano Apes, Hole, Johnny Cash, Julie Doiron, Metric, Nico, Portishead, The Sounds, The Knife, Tegan and Sara, Bic Runga, Vienna Teng, Suzanne Vega, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Food: I likes my sushi. I also like steak, korean bbq, and curry. Spaghetti too. I also often snack on Oreos. I used to be friends with Five Guys, but no more.

Misc: I enjoy watching Gaki no Tsukai; particularly the specials.
Their pain brings me pleasure.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books in the dark
Nikon by the sea
Jackets in the summer
Songs for a reprieve
Autumn in October
Love that makes me bleed
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What a mess I've made.

Also, my limbs are always falling asleep. I wonder if there is something wrong with my heart.

My favorite song is King Rides By, by Cat Power. I spend a lot of time thinking about its lyrics and their place in my life. Sample for you!

If time had a place
And space for your past
Like a little novel
You wanted to read again and again
Would I be in your novel?
Would I begin and end in it?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Rereading books for the fourth or fifth time.

Also, invading OKC profiles en masse with my grandson's friends
mkitahara10, saigo_no_uta,
channingk, gavaisky,
cpingpong3, nene_otter, and

If one of us visits you... the rest of us probably will
soon after.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have 20/20 vision! But I always kinda wished I wore glasses.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're just looking for some friendly conversation or a penpal. I'm married [really].

Also, if perhaps you have a good story idea? I like writing, but I have a hard time coming up with things to write about u_u