Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Here comes the storm in the form of a girl...
I am more of a man than you'll ever be,
and more of a woman than you'll ever get.
My hair is blonde.
Short. No, but really.
Hilarious. Trust me.
Smart. You'll see.
Xbox or gtfo.
Musician. When I'm not dicking around.
Blunt as a mother fucker.
I have the mouth of three sailors.
Crimson Tide, baby. (And no, I'm not talking about my period.
IDGAF ALL THE TIME.
It's not easy being around me.
I have a very forceful personality.
All this bad belongs to me.
I have 12 piercings & 6 tattoos, and still counting.
Power lifters never cry.
I'm not skinny.
I don't want to be skinny.
Some find that hard to deal with.
Those people are not people I want in my life.
I support our troops, but am against war.
I will not take you for a ride, gentlemen.
Sarcasm. I has it.
I make fun of everyone equally.
There's no discrimination with my horrible, horrible humor.
There's this girl who always follows me around, is super clingy,
seriously jealous of other people getting my affection, and I'm
pretty sure she's in love with me. Even though she does these
things, I still love her with all my heart and I take care of her
no matter what. Her name is Trixie, and she's my cat. :3
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Breathing. Laughing. Being awesome. Making inappropriate jokes.
Living life as much as possible.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dancing. Being sarcastic. Breathing. Gaming. Weightlifting. Having
a baby face. Getting concussions. Quoting movies. Being
Here are things I'm not good at. Because I like to put my flaws out
there for the world to know so there are no bad surprises in the
1. I'm blunt as fuck.
2. I can be a cunt when my ovaries make me. I don't mean to be, but
sometimes it happens. I am good with romantic apologies,
3. I can only coddle for so long. If you're whining about stupid
shit, I'm gonna tell you you're whining about stupid shit and then
I'm gonna give you an encouraging pat on the back and send you
about your way. Sorry, not sorry.
4. I'm super fucking goofy. Which apparently can be a flaw to some
people. If that's a flaw for you, get the fuck out of my
I will add more when I realize what other flaws I have.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My angel baby face. And the fact that I'm fucking hilarious.
Honestly, though, you can think whatever you want of me, as long as
you find me funny. You can call me fat, ugly, stupid, ignorant,
what have you, as long as you add "but at least you're a comedic
genius" at the end. That will make me happy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, Harry Potter, Brave New
World, The Great Gatsby, Fahrenheit 451, Perks of Being a
Wallflower, pretty much all Stephen King, Fifty Shades Trilogy
Movies: Harry Potter, Lion King, Step Brothers, Titanic, I Love You
Shows: Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Supernatural, Buffy, Family
Guy, Bob's Burgers, Archer, Orange is the New Black.
Music: Bayside, Hole, and everything else.
Food: I'm not picky. Obviously.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Animals. Guitars. Air. Food. Friends. Sexbox.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
When Anthony Raneri is gonna finally ask me to marry him.
Btw, totally ran into him at Warped. And he denied me a cigarette.
It was dick of him, and I'd still marry him. That, my internet
acquaintances, is called a true fan.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We
cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we
drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
And for the love of Christ know the basic rules of grammar. If I
find an overwhelming amount of grammatical errors in the message or
your profile, chances are I won't message back. Yeah, I know. I'm
kind of a 'cunt', blah blah blah.
Look, I have this girlfriend, right? But she's trans. And still has
her penis. I'm gay. Like, really gay. So I'm looking for another
girlfriend or "galpal" with whom i can casually date and have fun
with. My girlfriend has another girlfriend who doesn't mind the
penis. Does this make sense? Well, it's all new to me too. I
understand if polyamorous things aren't for you. They weren't for
me either until I tried this.
Who are you looking for?
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