A clarion call to nerds, in this, the calm before the HP storm

 

It's the Raven to the Claw: academics they epouse

If you don't know, y'all- it's the number one House

So if you're in another, don't worry 'bout it brother:

ain't no competin' - we elite n'

don't make no difference if you grouse

 

OH SNAP!

I like to think my life is full of bind turns and dark alleyways, if only so I can be surprised from time to time. Such was the case the other day. As twilight encroached and my pile of unfinished coursework glared at me, the possibility of having to do it loomed closer and closer. Never one to submit lightly (bedroom notwithstanding), I rallied, calling upon friends for succor in my time of need. A few calls, chats and emails later, a pleasing plethora of procrastination had been inveigled betwixt me and the dreaded homework. Magic: The Gathering, followed by Rock Band, with a showing of Boondock Saints to round out the evening. 

Yells my housemate, booming from his bedroom, "Who wants to shoot an anti-tank weapon?"

Plans were canceled. Replaced was the tapping of mana with the thunderous roil of 50 cal bullets ripping through space (also, possibly, time).

Check my pics section for details.

 

Operating on the *wildly* inaccurate assumption that I can QUIT WHENEVER I WANT, I allowed a good friend of mine to seduce me, with promises of cookies and snuggles, into watching Glee from the beginning.

Two sleepless nights later, I am hooked. I crave the caustic wit of Sue and the belting gospel of Mercedes. With avaricious eyes do I covet the jackets of Kurt. No small amount of lust is generated by the saucy hip sways of the long-legged, short skirted "high school" girls that grace the show's cast.

Additionally, I've gleaned a few choice phrases for my lexicon, my favorite among these being the bizarre but euphonious "over the shoulder boulder holder." Referring to what, you might ask? Bwhaha. Guess.

My friend was shocked that I was not already aware of this bit of slang, having survived the American school system. I blamed my bookworm, hand-me-down-shirts, outcast ways. On the other hand, those same traits get me pretty far, today. In fact, that I'm a mega-nerd is now *cause* for me to see the aforementioned over the shoulder boulder holders (in real life, even!) far more often than if I were a captain of some other clique.The reason for that argument is all around me.

Portland, I love you.

I may have just been cast as a special extra for a TV show. I'll be in a cadre of bodyguards, in a dapper suit, looking all tough.

Should be easy, as I am a very intimidating person. Ferocious, really.

Yup. This is my big break. In no time at all I'll be fighting off the paparazzi, kissing Salma Hayek in a steamy love scene, getting burritos with Will Smith. Don't remember, I'll remember the little people, who made it all possible. 

Oh, wow. Maybe I could even get my 93 Escort fixed. That would be neat.

You know, driving up the 101 from San Francisco to Portland at 45mph in a UHaul with a car hitched sounds like a drag, but when you stop to have Adventures along the way, it's actually a lot of fun.

I'm being (nicely) evicted, as the space I'm currently living is being turned into an art/photography studio. Oh, how I will miss the dance floor, trapeze and projector! Oh, how I'll miss a roommate so cool she smacks my ass in salutation! Woe is me, for now I must venture out into the fog laden renters arena to do battle!

I have a pretty mean Rear Naked Choke, but I don't know how useful that will be.

Elvis Presley's "Jailhouse" and the Beatles in "Hard Day's Night." I've seen neither, am interested in both, and have a cute butt. That last bit, though besides the point, is still important information.

Lets go together! Afterwards we can get delicious cookies, check out the gays, and meander (skipping included). I'm also open to suggestions.

When: Sunday (8/9/09) @ 6pm

How: With Bells on

 

This is the anti-Hipster Anthem, I declare. It's my new favorite song. Not only is the beat mad dope- his flow is genius!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUkJ_C6Meek

...I need to go on an adventure. Please to provide me with suggestions. Assume I have $5000 to travel with, am willing to work along the way to prolong additional funds, and am nerdy, pervy, athletic and addicted to trying new things.

Go.

Right now, my roommate and I have cranked it to 11, and are jamming out to Phil Collins' Greatest Hits.

This makes us awesome. Better act now to catch up. Or come over to join us.

"!!SHE'S AN EASY LOVER!!...something something BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU'LL BE ON YOUR KNEEEEEEEEEES!!!"