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32 Seattle, WA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 20–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:42am
Pansexual, Bisexual
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Not at all
Christianity, and laughing about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Sign Language (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a musician of the voice, composing melodies and lyrical metaphors, and a performer of the stage, in all variations (e.g. theater, runway modeling, singing my original music, drag, etc.)

I am quirky, cuddly, and communicative. I would also describe myself as "sassy." If you try to hurt me or someone I love...I will metaphorically beat you up with sass. If you beat up yourself, I will wrap you in kindness (and beat your self-loathing with sass). If you try to put me in any other role, I will raise an eyebrow...with sass.

Romantically, the only type of relationship I am looking for is a monogamous one. I have been polyamorous before, but it's hard to find someone with the communication skills to pull it off. A relationship only works for me if the conditions are just right (honesty + boundaries + pre-negotiation).
And if I have a full-time monogamous boyfriend/girlfriend/transfriend, I have 2 conditions:
1) I believe in the healing power of hugs/cuddling, and I'm disappointed when others define "monogamy" as "you can only cuddle one person."
2) I need the freedom to talk openly with my friends about my sex life. I've been hurt by dating too many secretive people. This does NOT mean I post about it PUBLICLY (e.g. on facebook). My facebook stays pretty clean, due to my young nephews being "friends" on there.

I live by this quote (one I invented):
"My love is unconditional, my company is not."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
In 2011, I became a published author with a steampunk book about time travel.
In 2012, I wrote and published a sequel:
You'll notice that all the URLs I give you will have my real name (Esther Mathison). My main inspiration came from NaNoWriMo, which pushed me to complete my novel in a single month.

I like to be in several rock bands at once, but I'm new to the area, so starting a new band (or joining an existing one) has been difficult for me. I haven't played my guitar much since I re-injured my hand but I still write piano and a capella songs for my solo project "Polyestherogen"(

You can find some of my past musical projects here:
1) An improvisational jam band "Scaffolding" with an electric cellist (
2) An alternative folk acoustic duo "A Thousand Young" that I started when I was sixteen (
3) A cinematic electronic music project called "Terran Spiral" (

I also used to teach singing and deep breathing classes for a tea shop (Xiu Xian Tea) and a state employee wellness program (DSHS).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
1. Giving dating advice to friends on okcupid. In general, I dislike "games" or "strategies" AFTER you meet someone, but FINDING someone for that first date can be hard statistically. It's a bit like job hunting. Send out 10 messages and get back 1 reply. But resist the urge to send the exact same message to 10 people. Those messages are easy to spot (and disgenuine). Through years of practice, another mistake is saying too much. It looks like you come on too strong and I've often felt disappointed if I invested in a long message but heard nothing in return. In my humble opinion, the best okcupid messages (in the introductory stage) are one paragraph with 4 or 5 sentences. Be clever. Identify common interests. Then try to mentally "let go" of the outcome. Because 90% of them won't reply (no matter how awesome you are.)

2. Singing. And it took me a long time to admit this. When I sang professionally, people would ask me all the time if I'm any good at if that's a normal thing to ask. Other careers aren't like that. You never hear, "So you're a doctor. Are you good at it or do a lot of your patients die?"

3. Being tolerant and respectful of other beliefs while maintaining my super-liberal-pansexual-commie-vegetarian beliefs. This is actually very hard, because soap boxes are so easy to climb upon. I'm NOT the kind of girl who will try to convert anyone to my religious or political beliefs, but I ask for the same respect in return.

4. Giving REAL hugs, not just a wimpy "I'm afraid to let anyone in my personal space" kind of hug, a full hug-you-to-your core kind of hug.

5. Conversational marathons. I was blessed/cursed with the "gift of gab." Thank goodness I know how to listen too!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I seem outgoing, but I think of myself as an ambivert with both extroverted and introverted sides. I make eye contact when I give compliments. Also, I dress in a weird way, but I make it work. My fashion sense is constantly evolving, but Steampunk is my current playground. And since I used to be a plus-sized model, I know a few local designers if you need me to recommend one.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite authors are Douglas Adams, Charles DeLint and Terry Pratchett.

My favorite bands/artists are Tori Amos, ABBA, They Might Be Giants, and JoCo. In the Steampunk genre, I like Unwoman and recently, Fein & Dandee

My favorite food is goat cheese, and I especially like trying new varieties. I'm a vegetarian with a few odd food allergies/sensitivities, but I'm fairly experienced at reading a menu and modifying when necessary. I've dated meat-eaters, and my policy is that he/she might need to brush the teeth before smooching me if his/her breath smells strongly of meat.

I have a strong sense of smell (some even make me nauseous) so I'll add this category.
Smells I LOVE: lavender, cheese (even pungent kinds), garlic (even garlic breath), oregano, cilantro, basil, cinnamon, coffee (though I don't drink it), cloves, ginger.
Smells I HATE: cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, cumin, fish, strong perfume/cologne, and the laundry detergent aisle in the grocery store.

My favorite movie/TV genres are:
Fantasy/Sci-Fi: Star Trek: TNG, Red Dwarf, Firefly, Dollhouse, Wonderfalls, Pushing Daisies
Comedies: Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Big Bang Theory, Scrubs, IT Crowd, Princess Caraboo, The Mirror Has Two Faces, Eddie Izzard, Jim Gaffigan, Maria Bamford, Ellen Degeneres (her stand-up specials, since her talk show is kinda meh).
Indie Films: Hudsucker Proxy, Kissing Jessica Stein, Castaway on the Moon, and The Big Lebowski.
Musicals: Mamma Mia, Hello Dolly, Phantom of the Opera
And nothing compares to the loveliness of seeing a musical live.
The ultimate hybrid is "Dr Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog." I can't get enough of it! Occasionally I throw viewing parties, either for friends who haven't seen it or friends who'd love to see it again. Sometimes during viewing parties, we watch the fan-made prequel "Horrible Turn" which I highly recommend. It's freely available on youtube. And as always: Keep watching after the credits.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Genuine compliments (I like to give and receive them)
2) An eclectic wardrobe
3) Deep-breathing
4) Hugs
5) Acceptance of self/others
6) The catharsis of writing music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
myself. I actually had a self-wedding ceremony on December 12th, 2009. I ask "Is it necessary to have a spouse?" Sure, it would be nice, but there's no law against throwing a fantastic party. I did take my vows pretty seriously, since it was a great opportunity to commit to self-acceptance and love. If I meet someone who wants to get married someday, that's great too.

If you're lucky enough to be added to my facebook friends, you'll notice I also have a few fake internet wives. They have ZERO romantic interest in women, so don't overthink it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
An *ideal* Friday night involves cuddling at home or going out if there's a lack of obnoxious drunk people. Actually, I like most things if there's a lack of obnoxious drunk people. I will only walk into a bar for concerts, drag shows, burlesque, or runway fashion shows.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'll admit that I find geeks very sexy. But sometimes I get burned out on nerdiness (in myself and in others.) Everything in moderation, I suppose. I like to "geek out" on a lot of topics, but I also enjoy discussing emotions (I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology), fashion, and other so-called girly stuff. Perhaps if "geek" is the only part of your identity that you embrace, you're missing out on how multi-facted life can be. Metaphorically, if you have a lot of tools in the toolbox, you don't need to approach everything with a wrench.

However, I like socializing and dressing in costumes so I end up at a lot of nerdy conventions. I've been to these ones so far: Steamposium, Norwescon, PAX, Steamcon, Sakuracon and Rustycon. Next year I plan on attending the "Regeneration" of Anglicon (which I supported on Kickstarter, and possibly Gearcon in Portland.
When I'm in the mood to "geek out," these are the topics I especially enjoy discussing:
I think Jean-Luc Picard was the best Star Trek captain, Final Fantasy VI was the best console video game, and I'd love my Wii Fit board even more if it weren't so passive-aggressive.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Message me if you would like to start an epic friendship, a series of memorable dates possibly culminating in a lovely relationship, or a diverse musical project that brings out my (currently neglected) inner rock star.

I enjoy being an auntie for my family and a babysitter for my friends, but I am NOT interested in becoming the mother of your future offspring (and was serious enough about this decision to get my tubes tied). Also be aware that having my tubes tied doesn't mean I can skip the condoms unless I have a monogamous partner who has been tested for a variety of things.

If you have kids already, it's negotiable, especially if the kids are a lot older. But my preference would be someone without kids.

You should NOT message me if you like drinking excessively, getting high, and/or owning a gun. I'm more attracted to people who don't drink at all (a.k.a. teetotalers) because even the strong smell of booze can give me a headache. In other words, if you have even one drink, I WILL NOT SMOOCH YOU until the smell and the effects mostly wear off. So choose wisely.

Also: I prefer hearing from folks with a match rating of 70% or higher. I trust numbers. It's just the way I'm built.