I am not easy-going. I am not laid-back. I don't generally like long walks on the beach. It's fucking COLD at the beach. I seldom hike or camp (although I'm open to these things.) I have never been to Burning Man and probably never will. I don't get along with all of my exes. I try to be kind, but I'm not exactly "nice."

On the OkCupid dating personality test, I'm currently "The Peach," and something from that description has always resonated with me:

"...a guy who’s in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him."

Yep. That's me, all right.

Here are some unbearably sexy things about me:

I can get my leg behind my head while standing. I can get my leg behind your head, but you have to ask nicely.

I'm getting my fallopian tubes blocked sometime in the next month, and then I won't be able to get pregnant.

I do have herpes, but I solemnly swear to do my absolute best not to give it to you. I haven't given it to anyone, ever (more about this below.)

I bathe a lot. Like, I'm trying to cut back.

Mensa wanted me to join when I was, like, eight, but I was like "nah, ya'll seem lame." I'm much dumber now, I don't think they'd want me anymore.

I'm not afraid of commitment. I am occasionally afraid of being committed to an institution. But mostly that just sounds like a nice break from having worry about bills. Still, I'll err on the side of staying sane(ish).

My boobs smell incredible.

I don't know what I want. Well, maybe I do. I want to be loved. I don't want to date the emotionally unavailable. I don't want to chase people. I want to love someone and be loved. I'm tired of settling for less.

If you're desperately afraid of commitment, we should not date. If you're looking for someone to settle down with right away, we shouldn't date. Relationships seek their own levels. I'm most happy with the idea of "let's see where this goes," and letting things evolve naturally.

Not really looking for one-night-stands, but a friend-with-benefits is worth his/her weight in gold.

I am bright, shiny, and not a zombie

Living it to the best of my ability. Keeping my chin up. Laughing.

I was four when I realized I wanted to write for a living, and I've worked as a journalist, a reviewer, and as an editor. Other than that, I want to be a nurse when I grow up. Or maybe a dominatrix. I have varied interests.

I read a lot. I also blog about my feelings. People actually read it, which is weird.

I'm a three time spelling bee champion (1993-1995) and have an excellent vocabulary. I can also do some interesting contortions. I make excellent mashed potatoes.

I can probably make you laugh.

I rock at karaoke. Sometimes.

That I'm sort of a know-it-all, especially in a classroom setting. Or that I'm singing. I don't know.

BOOKS: Slaughterhouse-Five, She's Come Undone, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Breakfast of Champions, Lamb, The Lord of the Rings, Horns (by Joe Hill,) In Cold Blood, books by Terry Pratchett, anything I can get my hands on... It rips my life away, but it's a great escape...

MOVIES: Fargo, LA Confidential, The Usual Suspects, Miller's Crossing, Blood Simple, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I Heart Huckabees, The Man Without A Past, You Can Count on Me, The Silence of the Lambs, 28 Days Later, documentaries, stupid/smart comedies.

MUSIC: RADIOHEAD, Old 97s/Rhett Miller, Violent Femmes, Modest Mouse, Shins, Decemberists, Strokes, Spoon, Nada Surf, White Stripes, Arcade Fire, Cake, Pedro the Lion, Wilco, Beck, Rachael Yamagata, Muse, Ingrid Michaelson, Weezer, your mom

FOOD: Mashed potatoes, peas, and steak. Perfect meal.

But I'm also down with vegan and vegetarian stuff. I love sushi and Thai food. I'm very picky, but I'll try almost anything.

Comfy shoes, comfy bed, bathtub, making out like high schoolers, good pair of jeans, books.

Human relationships. Sexuality. Whether my ass looks too big in these pants.

Sometimes I'm working the top door at one of SF's premier play parties. Or, y'know, reading in bed. I like that too.

Adapted from an email I send out to people I'm considering dating. I thought I'd put it here to get it out of the way:

I have genital herpes. I've had one outbreak, in January 2010, but nothing before or since. So far the worst part of it is knowing that I have to have this talk with everyone I'm interested in for the rest of my life.

One of the things I discovered when I was diagnosed with Crotch Plague is that no one really understands how long it's usually dormant before appearing (two weeks! years!) or how contagious an asymptomatic person might be. And I really, really don't want to expose anyone to a risk they didn't sign on for, hence my telling you now. I take medication daily, which suppresses the chances of transmission, and with condoms and suppressive therapy there's apparently a 1-2% chance of transmission per year. Here's where I get those stats: http://westoverheights.com/herpes_handbook/index.html

I had regular and vigorous sex with a primary partner for over a year (we've since broken up,) and he's not infected. But it's a chance you have to decide for yourself whether you want to take.

I've met some really awesome people people to whom this is a dealbreaker, and I hate the feeling of dread that comes when I have to tell someone about the H-bomb in my pants. So I'm just putting it out there. Hello? I'm vulnerable now. Hold me?

You're emotionally available, open, and generous.

You're searching for your soulmate, but you're open to whatever comes along. I don't fit well into pre-made boxes, but I'm not a fan of walls, either. Boundaries, however, are awesome.

You've got a kinky streak, but you're also a big fan of tenderness and intimacy. You're GGG.

You are enthusiastic , intellectually curious, geeky, knowledgeable, interested, interesting, highly sexual, fairly well-balanced, employed or at least busy and financially solvent, responsible, spontaneous, and capable of driving a stick shift.

You know how to cook, fix a car and/or computer, like nature but also enjoy showers, and enjoy action films.

You're not afraid of an intense, vibrant, loving, emotional, supersexual, sapiosexual lover who has been described by a first date from this site as "spazzy." I, like Maria in the Counting Crows song, have trouble acting normal when I'm nervous.

But seriously. I'm a lot to handle. But I like to believe I'm worth it.