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keaek

25 M Montreal, Quebec, CA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on masters program
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Most days I like to pretend that I'm a grown-ass man (paying taxes, getting groceries, doing laundry), but then I pass by a McDonald's with a playplace. It's at this point that I have to fight every fibre of my being screaming at me to throw away my laptop and climb up to the top of that priceless plastic palace with half a McFlurry smeared all over my face. I guess that'll be my mid-life crisis. Some men buy a convertible, I'll buy a ball pit.

Pour les québecoises qui exigent le bilinguisme: je cuisine. Je nettoie. Je lis. Je dors. J'utilise les courtes phrases sujet-verbe qui se traduisent facilement au français. Clairement ceci est une parfaite traduction de ce qui précède.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm oddly amused by math and science so I gravitated toward a career in blah blah blah engineering blah wireless blah blah which blah blah potato. Let's be honest, 80%+ of people are falling asleep after "math." Alright, non-sciency stuff: keeping active to fend off diabeetus, vegging out to neato documentaries and meeting people from different cultures to experience just how big the world is and, conversely, just how small my world is.

J'ai une tendance de devenir fou si je me confine pendant longtemps (on peut se sentir leur temps et jeune avantages s'échappant). Ceci étant donné, presque n'importe qoui va me sortir chez moi. Un marché des agriculteurs, un jeu de baseball, ta mère, les soldes de livres, et cétéra. Une fois, je suis allé à Chapters et simplement vagué pendant presque 45 minutes.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Picking up a hobby/goal and giving up on it at the drop of a hat, I guess. My unused mason jars and out-of-tune guitar can attest to that. Some day those half-assed attempts might pay off, but in all likelihood people will probably just know me simply as "that guy who can't even hoard properly." Sure, it'll hurt my feelings, but I'll also be that guy who is accidentally well-equipped for doomsday.

"Keaek, how'd you know to stock up on empty jars and failed dreams?" they'll ask.

"Listen, either buy a jar for $70 or get the hell out of my shanty made of pants that I can't convince myself to throw away," I'll reply.

Quoi? Tu veux une vrai réponse? Bien, je suis un peu d'un nerd électronique. Par exemple, voici une porte automatique des chats (comme les portes typiques automatiques qui se trouvent à Walmart sauf plus petite et concernant les utilisateurs plus poilu et un peu moins obèse).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Tall and markedly white, both in physical appearance and stereotypical mannerisms. I get Paul Rudd or Ben Affleck on occasion, so I like to think that I resemble the demented love child of an unholy threesome involving those two and an albino.

Personnalité-ment? Peut-être que je suis calme (ce gars, avec les clichés) et définitivement l'autodérision, parce que s'il y a quelqu'un qui ne va pas se sentir offensé si vous vous moquez d'eux, c'est soi-même.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books:
A Song of Ice and Fire Series, Stranger in a Strange Land, Ubik, Frankenstein, Watchmen, Superman: Red Son

Movies:
Shawshank Redemption, Eternal Sunshine, WALL-E, Lost in Translation, Step Brothers, Adventureland, 12 Angry Men, Good Will Hunting, Superbad, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

TV:
Seinfeld, Game of Thrones, Sherlock, Arrested Development, True Detective, Hannibal, 30 Rock, BSG, The Wire

Bands
The Beatles, The Black Angels, Daft Punk, Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Morning Teleportation, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Tame Impala, Real Estate, Credence, Fleet Foxes, The Black Keys, Justice

In summary: house and rock of the experimental, psychedelic and classic varieties......oh, and Wu Tang Clan, because how can anyone not?

Food?
Vraiment? Y a-t-il sérieusement des filles qui pensent "bien, j'avais le cul entre deux chaises pour le plupart de sa profile, mais le poulet parmigiana m'a convaincu vraiment. Je sais maintenant que je vais avoir ses bébés quelque jour"?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Music
Frank's Red Hot (my "get out of a terrible meal free" card)
Family
Comedy
Good friends
And if I'm being totally honest: the internet, which at this point is about 75% reddit, 25% other.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The most pointless things you could possibly imagine. Some people say that, but I have proof. Here's a screenshot of my attempt to figure out the most amount of money you can fit into a standard briefcase.

In case you're wondering: that gold rectangle is a 10 000 Singapore Dollar bill, worth about 8000 US. It's the most valuable note currently in circulation. Now, people in movies typically just fill one side of the briefcase, so you have to divide the thickness by two. Dividing that number by the thickness of a bill gives you roughly 550 bills. The best orientation of the notes I could find fit 7 of those 550-tall stacks in there, so that all works out to a briefcase with the equivalent of 3.08 million US dollars inside.

....oh yes, I'm for real. Why would you even doubt that? I mean, have you taken a second to look at how massive this profile is? It's absurd. Who puts this much time into this shit?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
With friends, modestly inebriated in some fashion, possibly watching a movie and/or obliterating said friends on Mario Kart 64. I mean o-blit-er-a-ting, laying down the kind of hurt felt through several generations of my competitors' future lineage. Your great grandchild will be sitting around with an incurable, empty feeling inside, knowing only that it has something to do with a red shell.

Pourtant, je suis dans une ville nouvelle maintenant, alors je dois être (et je suis totalement) ouvert de sortir, prendre une bière et essayer des choses nouvelles.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've seen Dawson's Creek in its entirety and know most of Millennium by Backstreet Boys by heart thanks to 13 year old me.

...I'm super-masculine, I swear.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're a fan of existential conversations during long drives through the country and marathoning terrible tv shows on weekends when you don't feel like getting out of bed.