You know that one guy who goes to a 24 hour Walmart at 3am and attempts to purchase a single stringed bean as the cashier struggles to weigh out a price? How about the guy who doesn't usually go to shows but knows everyone in the band? I'm that guy. The thrift store fashionista. The liquor store hero. A connoisseur of all things bizarre.

I have a fascination with obscure art / music / historical figures, I love Discordian philosophy, zen stories, guerrilla surrealism, parti citron, The Onion, and other such nonsense. I like people watching, cart pushers, fringe religions, tinfoil hat conspirators, ramblers, bums, friendly drunks, and musicians.

However, I don't like self righteous vegans/vegitarians, scene snobs, or anyone who is completely full of themselves. Chances are pretty good that if you can't get along with people who don't agree with you, I don't like you. I feel no sympathy for those who suffer from stick-in-ass syndrome. I also don't like cheap beer, leeches, people who take without asking (I'm a very generous person! Ask and I'll most likely give it to you, honest!), and heights.

I give money to bums, I'm a member of the International High IQ Society, I tip well if I receive good service, I enjoy writing music and listening to music that my friends have written, I am against most gun laws, I am pro choice, and I don't subscribe to any conventional political party since my views on most issues don't match up with any of them. I voted for Jon Sharkey in the 2008 election. Search for him on Wikipedia if you're up for a laugh.

I live day to day. I have no desire to go to college at the moment. I don't need a fancy house or anything special. As long as I'm making more than minimum wage and I can afford my share of the mortgage, food, etc then I see no reason for excess or extravagance.

Staying calm, thinking logically and rationally, making people laugh.

I've never cared enough to ask. You tell me.

Books: The Illuminatus Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson, The Rubiyat of Omar Khayyam

Movies: Cannibal! The Musical, Night of the Demons, Dribble

Music: Green Goblyn Project, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains, The Mountain Goats, Woods, The Dwarves

Food: Hawaiian pizza, cheese steak, shepherd's pie, chicken in alfredo sauce with noodles, duck soup

My acoustic guitar, a computer with an internet connection, a steady supply of gin, my music collection, MST3K, food/water/oxygen/etc.

How dumb people are. I hope that I don't sound arrogant when I say that there are a lot of really stupid people out there.

Spending time with my three best friends at my house. Two guitars, an upright bass, a lapharp, and a kazoo do wonders for the soul.

I have a thing for girls who can play an instrument. Unless they waste their time writing songs about relationships (with the exception of Discount and Lemuria).

You're an established super villain. Must supply own costume. Please complete form WQ-2. An aptitude test may be required.