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39 M Bloomsburg, PA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 9″ (1.76m)
Body Type
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Might want kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm into monkey shine, chicanery, charcuterie, skullduggerry, tomfoolery, whiskey, nonsense and all manner of mischief but always safely and in moderation. I play shows sometimes.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a stone carver and a bartender both of which I enjoy thoroughly for completely different reasons. In stone carving, I remove stone to reveal what's underneath. Inque tuo sedisti Sisyphe, saxo. In bartending, I add booze to reveal what's underneath. In vino veritas!
I also dabble in horticulture, mostly orchids and bonsai.
I’m really good at
I love to cook and I'm really good at it! I've been told I'm good at listening without interjecting and giving good advice based, objectively on what I've heard. I'm also adept at coaxing square pegs into round holes. I firmly believe that I am capable of pretty much anything provided I'm not aware that it is impossible.
The first things people usually notice about me
Nothing lasts, nothing is finished and nothing is perfect.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: David Sedaris, Tom Robbins, Augusten Burroughs...and dry, boring (to most) history books. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,
Movies: documentaries, horror, sci-fi...
Music: The Ramones, The Smiths, The Cure. Pretty much anything that begins with 'the', Jonathan Richman, the Queers, JOHNNY CASH, the Chi-lites, Mr. T Experience, all the Hanks sans Jr., Marvin Gaye, Screeching Weasel, Lefty Frizzel, the Temptations, Social Distortion, Kate Bush, Sloppy Seconds, ELVIS!!! Dead Milkmen, Marina and the Diamonds, Buzzcocks, you name it.
Tv: I've been off tv for quite a while now but still enjoy Mr. Show, Arrested development, futurama-anything clever that makes me laugh.
The six things I could never do without
Possessions are fleeting.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Bilateral symmetry; why I have two of everything except the stuff right in the middle and the subtle difference between altruism and duty.
On a typical Friday night I am
Getting other people drunk and envying them.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a superfluous third nipple that I sometimes lie about. (see above section "I spend a lot of time thinking about")
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–45
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You enjoy feats of strength, strong man competitions and the like. If you think you're funny enough to make me pee my pants. I don't want to die never having peed my pants from laughing too hard.