Right...now you're hooked...
Been told that I'm a "charming, funny, clever, sexy, naughty, confident bit of Northern rough." Well, I always knew that, but I'm also a multi-lingual former teacher, lecturer, writer, traveller, rogue, vagabond, ne'er-do-well and troublemaker - a cynical, dry, sarcastic grump and an enthusiastic, sensitive, loving idealist with a dry sense of humour and a heart that is too big for its own good. Sometimes, I'm just a dickhead.
I have lots of good party tricks. I can touch my own nose with my tongue and memorise a deck of cards. I am solvent, have a nice car, smell good, wear socks that match, know how to cook and am clean and tidy. I love my daughters. One is grown up and the other is living with me.
I've been imprisoned in a Latin American country. It's a long story and I'll tell you about it if I think you're the right kind of person - it wasn't for drugs. I speak Spanish, Portuguese and Mandarin Chinese. You can test me if you like.
Just done a test and found out that I'm a Hornivore - or a random, brutal sex master (RBSM). That is, a naughty, screwed-up, roaming, sexual, subhuman.
Half manly, half bestial, I act on instinct, animal charisma and my own selfish, orgasmic requirements. My appearance and personality have evolved for the hunt and when ass beckons, I oblige, they say. Ass. Indeed.