kelebekk
45 New York, NY
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kelebekk
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My self-summary
Of all the many questions I've considered answering on this site, the most telling one for me was one I looked at and shied away from. I didn't answer it and haven't come across it since, but I decided it deserves a little essay. It was, "do you enjoy going to the movies alone?"
I knew the answer right away: "No." But I wish I was a different type of person, someone who did enjoy going to the movies alone. I admire that kind of self-sufficiency. For me going to the movies is such a luxurious pleasure, what with the resting in cushy seats, the darkness, the hedonism, the snacks, and the huge entertainment of other lives and stories told, it's like experiencing a fabulous dream. That much pleasure is something I always seek to share. It's somehow not enough to live something intense all by myself. I'm sure that's a character flaw.
In fact I HAVE gone to the movies alone. I attended a Kurasawa festival back in college years, all on my own, and had a blast. I bet if I ever did take myself off to the movies alone now, I would have a great time. But, I'd probably have to tell someone about it afterward.
What I’m doing with my life
I got this baby by asking a donor to help me. The donor is someone I know, but he's not involved with us at all. So it's just me raising my girl, with help from my brothers and friends and a lot of generous surprising people who cross our path.
Before I had a baby, I had a lot of free time every day. I would go stretch out at a cafe with the Times or a novel and then wander off to yoga class. Work starts around 7 pm for me, three nights a week. Now that my daughter's in first grade, I have a bit of time free during school hours. I pick her up from school at 2:30 pm and a babysitter gives her dinner when I go off to work.
I’m really good at
dancing the tango.
ok so i'm really really really good at dancing the tango.

also, reading poems.
The first things people usually notice about me
are not the things i mean to project.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
saramago
murakami
the earthsea series

lawrence of arabia
the philadelphia story
howl's moving castle
brick

bach
bjork
basie
buena vista
& de caro

orange juice, eggs, french toast, pasta, cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, sushi, salads made by someone else, and plenty of fine chocolate brownies
The six things I could never do without
hope
chocolate
and four pillows to sleep with
...but maybe with the right man, i could let go of one or two of the pillows...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what i'm going to do with my 6.5 free hours each day while my little girl is in school. i used to have more time to choose between some downtime at home or maybe a yoga class, but lately my daytime work has picked up. i taught at the same school for twenty years and it closed last fall; since then i've been organizing all my own work, which keeps me busy constantly...

i think about my girl: what opportunities we can take advantage of, how to support her in her own busy first-grade life, what with her love for chess class and music class....and what to do with all the clothes she has outgrown?

i think about what's going on among my circle of friends, and dream of finding time to visit each one... and sometimes it happens...
On a typical Friday night I am
tiptoeing around the apartment, enjoying my solitude and my one weekday evening without work.
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