So I have been thinking lately. I miss the intimacy of a serious relationship, the kind I had with my husband. I’m not sure if it’s my age or the fact that I like mature men (approx 38-48) and men at this age seem to not be looking for anything long lasting that could perhaps lead to marriage or does it just seem that way? MESSAGING I get mixed signals all the time. Men say that they want a LTR, talking about their likes, needs, their jobs, their family life and yet in their next message they start talking about sex or sending me innuendos. I’m not a prude, I am a sexual creature (we all are), but at the same time there is a time and place for such intimacies and for it to come only after 1 or 2 emails is not appropriate. There has to be something more than sex. I want to build a relationship and for that to happen I need to get to really know you. Sexual excitement and chemistry will change over time we all know this, but it is the foundation of compatibility that will last us forever. I sometimes feel like giving up, just shutting down my profile and give up on dating for the time being. Would a break help? Will people change in a month or two or three? Will I be less jaded? Or will this journal entry help men understand that I would be worth talking to, worth getting to know and am the one they’ve been looking for? Is it too much to ask to be wooed? To be courted? Is it too outdated of a thought? TEXTING Now it seems that most people just want to skip the initial messaging to get to know one another and go straight to texting. I understand that most of this is for instant gratification of receiving a message, but I want you to see it from my point. (note: all my examples have happened) 1. I don’t know you and you could end up harassing me. 2. One cannot get to know someone through a sentence here & there. 3. Not that I am a professional writer nor am I a word Nazi, but I would like to know that the person I am speaking with can form sentences without using ( u , r , pic, btw, lol or other abbreviations that are best used in texting only. It just seems that when getting to know one another texting seems so impersonal. So before I give my number out I want to make sure that there is something there. Hopefully something that isn’t just a passing fancy. DATING I believe in going out on several dates before having sex. If I have to put a number on it I would say 5. Now these dates can range from a cup of coffee, lunch, dinner, movie, walk in the park, bowling or some other outing. I’m not asking for you to pay for the outings we can go dutch if you prefer. I’m not out for your money. I recently confessed to my coworkers that when I go out on dinner dates I actually pick the least expensive meal on the menu. This is for 1 of 2 reasons. Firstly if the man does pay then I don’t want to put him out much especially if we don’t feel a connection. Secondly if we ended up going dutch then I wouldn’t be out much money either. I think the point of dating is to get to know one another, see if there is chemistry and if we could be friends. INTIMACY I feel by date 5, if we make it that far we should realize if we are compatible. And by that time if we do feel the chemistry I’m sure our experience would be exciting. I believe that sexual intimacy is very important. I think that without it people can/will drift apart. I think that to maintain it is equally important and takes work. I will admit that when I was married I was naïve and my ex was uncommunicative. And once you loose that it’s all but over. My next relationship will have to be one that full of open communication. I will say once I trust someone one & open up my heart I am full of passion that can barely be contained. MY NEEDS So I hope that you can read this and understand where I am coming from. I need someone who will greet me with a warm hug when I get home, someone that can give as much as they get when bantering, someone that can make me feel safe, someone that even in the quietness tells me how much I mean to him, someone that knows that sometimes I just need to be held and cry, someone that knows when to lead me, someone that is slightly assertive, someone that is a good kisser, someone that can handle my mischievous side, someone that likes affection, someone that knows how to laugh and not be so serious, someone who accepts me for me, someone that is 100% honest, someone who understands what I mean when I say that vanilla is okay sometimes and someone who is tired of playing the field and ready to settle down with a good woman.

I saw this group entry on another site and thought it was a good idea.

I think it's time for some of us to change how we view ourselves... to look upon and within ourselves more kindly.

All you have to do is simply start a journal entry either here on *&*%^$ or privately and then everyday for 30 days.. write something kind about yourself.. something that you like about yourself... that has nothing to do with your outter shell concentrate on who you are on the inside... the beautiful spirit that lies within you. forget who you were... who you thought you were... or who others made you think you were. focus on the 'you' that you are now, or are in the process of creating.

SO HERE I GO
(FYI.....I compiled this list over a period of 30 days)

1. I am a cheerful person.
2. I am thoughtful of others.
3. I am easy to laugh.
4. I am forgiving.
5. I am empathetic.
6. I cannot lie. (well i can, but am not good at it, so i don't)
7. I am a flirt.
8. I am open minded.
9. I am not vindictive.
10. I enjoy making people laugh/smile.
11. I am sexual.
12. I am easy to please.
13. I am an optimist.
14. I will try most things at least once.
15. I am open with my emotions.
16. I have a good sense of humor.
17. I am loyal.
18. I am friendly.
19. I am compassionate.
20. I am honest.
21. I am trustworthy.
22. I am kind.
23. I am generous.
24. I am sincere.
25. I have common sense.
26. I am positive.
27. I am mature.
28. I can admit when I am wrong or make a mistake.
29. I am honorable.
30. I am morning person.



Well, there you go. 30 things about me that have nothing to do with the outside. It wasn't an easy task. Overall I am a good hearted woman =)
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They can be either too long or too short.  Suppose it just depends on your interest in that person.  I hope that most people find mine interesting.  I have read quite a few profiles that are very clever and amusing, not sure how mine compares to one's you may have read.  Any suggestions or comments on mine, please feel free to let me know.  Thanks for your input =D

How can anyone really know me by a few paragraphs?  My profile statements are true, but how can you really get a feel for me without meeting me in person.  Is there something about me or my profile that is off putting?  What are you looking for?  If it for someone that is genuine, truthful, caring, passionate, funny and serious I'm that woman.  If you are looking for a one night stand then I am NOT that woman.  I dream to find the man that I can connect with.  Is he out there?  I'm starting to think not.  I could be like a friend of mine and settle, but in the end it is not fair to all parties involved.  I am looking for someone with similar qualities of mine, someone that is caring, thoughtful, strong (in spirit), funny, funny (yes i meant to say it twice)  and honest.  I don't think it's too much to ask.  Is it? 

Mind you if I feel that you are not genuine I may not be as well.  So please, serious interests only.

I've been wondering lately, is it the site or is it me?  I am looking for my soulmate ;)   I send out messages and never get any responses back, nor do I really get that many messages.   Is the message delivery system working?   So it just makes me wonder is it me?  Am I too big of a girl?  Is there a man out there that is looking for someone caring, compassionate, with a great sense of humor and will put 100% into a relationship?  Or are just most men here not really looking for a LTR and are only looking for sex?  One begins to wonder after such a long time on here.  Any comments?  Let me know....I'd love to hear them. 

I've been divorced now almost a year and a half now and have found that I am almost the person I was oh so very long ago, the girl who was carefree, happy, fun-loving and full of life.  The only difference is, is that I am a woman now.  I know how to enjoy life and take things as they come , I know what it is that I want & need, I will not settle for I know I am worth it !!  I am ready to start over and find that special someone to whom I can connect with.  If you are looking for someone who is caring, compassionate, non-judgemental, understanding, nurturing, funny, loving, honest, trustworthy and has a good sense of humor, then I may be the one for you.  Talk to me, send me a message and let's see where it goes.

As I sit here I wonder, what is this site about?  Do people really meet their soulmates or significant others here?  I think about the conversations I've been having.  I am new to this on line dating/chatting thing.  What am I supposed to expect?  Anything?  I have found that I like meeting and speaking with new people.  There is something exciting & refreshing about it.  I am curious as to whom I will end up meeting, if anyone at all.

As I sit here creating my profile I wonder what it will bring me?  New friends, Crazy Stalkers, New Lovers, Penpals or even my Soulmate....  The possiblilites are endless.  To each of the following I write:

New Friends:  I welcome you and can't wait to get to know you so that we can share in our life experiences here.

Crazy Stalkers:  Well this should be a no brainer...Please leave me alone  =)

New Lovers: Hmmmm...  well  again see description for new friends.

Penpals:  I look forward to writing you and getting to know you.

Soulmate:  Hmmm.... Well if you are here I cannot wait to meet you and begin a new life together  =)