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44 Durham, NC Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 32–46
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from Ph.D program
Science / Engineering
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs
English (Okay), French (Poorly), Italian (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When we meet you would likely first ask me where I am from, so let’s get that out of the way now. I was born and grew up in South Africa; moved with my family to Toronto in my teens; grad. school in California with some random bouts in London and Rome; and I lived in New York for 9 years before taking a job last year in North Carolina. That’s why I talk funny. Good, now we can move on.

I have a dry, mischievous and somewhat filthy sense of humor though I tend more to chuckling and nodding appreciatively.

I like to both give and receive affection.

I choose to be a gentleman. Mostly.

I am irreverent and committed to the idea that rules are best treated as suggestions. I break them when they seem silly.

My heroes, in different spheres and no particular, order include Nelson Mandela, Sir Bernard Katz, Joe Strummer, my grandmother, Kenny Dalglish, Henri Cartier-Bressson, and Alice Waters.

I am smart and engaged and absent minded and goofy; I am tolerant and nonjudgmental but I have strong opinions and am not shy about sharing them; I am athletic and intense and mellow and often very clumsy.


I roll my own pasta.

I can love with wanton abandon.

I am trying to find another word with which to start my sentences.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Neuroscientist lucky enough to be able to do what I love and love what I do. I work hard and I am good at what I do, but it doesn't define me. Well, it doesn't wholly define me. Fine, it does, but still. Anyway. I spend most of my social time with my nucleus of non-science friends because, in general, they're better-dressed, finer-dining and harder-drinking.

Preferred forms of masochism presently include, but are not limited to, triathlons and muddy adventure races.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Engaging fully.

Seeing the funny side.

I am curious, sometimes patient, and a little obsessive but not compulsive. I appreciate the finer things and I have a rudimentary understanding of physics and chemistry. Put these together and you get a pretty spectacular cook. Mainly though, I'm cripplingly modest.


I can take a decent photograph.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Usually it's the flight of angels throwing rose petals beneath my feet as I walk in. Sometimes it's my posse. Or my ankle monitor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Midnight's Children; Atonement; The Structure of Scientific Revolutions; Waiting for the Barbarians; Griffin and Sabine; Janson's History; On Food and Cooking; Advice for a Young Investigator; The Visual Display of Quantitative Information. Coming Through Slaughter is my favorite book of all time.

Movies: I don't see that many, but the Coen brothers abide; I'm still transfixed by David Lean's cinematography; almost anything with Daniel Day-Lewis; Ken Burns and Werner Herzog. I know it's not quite the same, but William Kentridge's animations blow my mind. Steve McQueen's Hunger is the only film I finished and then immediately watched all over again. I still sing aloud to Cabaret. I loved Birdman.

TV: The Daily Show; BBC News; Arrested Development; The Wire; Mad Men; Homeland; 30 Rock (at least the earlier seasons).

Music: Ugghh! Okay, The Clash and Leonard Cohen; Massive Attack and Sibelius' Violin Concerto; Linton Kwesi Johnson and MGMT; Nina Simone and Shaggy (oh hell yeah!); Jay-Z and The Jam; Miles Davis and Tom Waits; Vampire Weekend and Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto #2; Lily Allen and… this is silly.

Food: I love good and interesting food, whether in a Michelin-starred restaurant or from the back of a truck, with a small preference for the latter.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Six? Six! You’re joking, right? Okay, here are some:

Spontaneous dinner parties with good friends, heated conversations, great meals, and the liberal flowing of fine wine (and that's one thing!); the Oxford Comma; interesting challenges; Wikipedia; my morning coffee(s); LES burlesque; NPR; small left-turn reef breaks on a longboard; the Central Park loop; the small of a woman’s back; my 9" santoku; Hendricks and cucumber; Pandora…
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Time and space, and sometimes the stuff in between.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Plotting universal domination, probably after a drink. Maybe even two. Otherwise, I'm probably knitting.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The more I use divices that correkt my spelling the worse my spelling becomes, and it's happening disconcertingly quickly.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Send me a message if something I've written attracts you, intrigues you, annoys you, amuses you, confuses you, or simply doesn't make any sense.

I have a very definite preference for real as opposed to virtual relationships. If it seems like we might gel, I will want some face-to-face time fairly soon.

Also, to preempt the large number of messages this little fib seems to have elicited - or isn't that the point? - no, I don't really knit. Please feel free to message me anyway if you thought that might have been your in. I promise I'll be nice.