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kickasserole

37 Portland, OR Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 12:59pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English, French, Sign Language

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It should almost be illegal to be this happy. I realized awhile back that I'd spent far, far too long worrying about the mundane and being sad about stupid shit. I am in an awesome place and I'm looking for someone else out there to have adventures with. I'm in no rush to change things, so I'm approaching dating slowly, but with the appropriate aplomb. :)

I've be re-learning how many fun things Oregon has going for it. Really been enjoying doing things like floating down the Clackamas, learning to rock climb and playing games designed for 3rd graders in someone's back yard while we barbecue and have a drink or two. I have a great group of friends (none of whom I want to date) and a pretty satisfying job, but it'd be fun to go on some dates and potentially meet someone cool.

I like referencing movies and good television. If that sort of thing annoys you, we're probably not a good match. I feel like there is a background soundtrack most of the time in my head spitting out random lines from Arrested Development, Archer, The Big Lebowski, etc. and it makes me laugh. I like humor that makes pretty square-cut folks cringe on occasion.

Bonus points if you use the phrase "shiny" and can passably swear in Mandarin. Or if you at least get what I'm referencing. :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Enjoying the journey. Finding new things to improve each week, as cheesy as that sounds. Renovating my 100 year old house. Pruning rose bushes. Cooking a damn good meal. Causing (limited) chaos with friends. Getting myself out into the sun as much as possible. Reading and writing. Amassing a stupidly large library of all things media. Laughing a lot. Playing music. Quoting movies too much, probably. For example:

Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking
Terrible Puns
Scrabble & Boggle
Writing
I'm an okay musician -- I wouldn't classify it as something I'm "really good at," though
Punctuation
I may be the one guy on here who really likes to shop
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get weird "hey, you look like soandso" occasionally. Beyond that, I guess it depends on whether I'm wearing short sleeves or not. In a tanktop, my tattoos are pretty evident. In a suit, I clean up pretty well :) I really like nice clothes and am aware that's silly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Hmmm....in no particular order:
anything by braughtigan, bukowski, palahniuk, hemingway, james clavell, heinlein, niven, hiaasen, david foster wallace, patrick rothfuss, stephen king, steinbeck, neruda, whitman

six feet under, breaking bad, mad men, archer, frisky dingo, athf, the office, parks and rec, shitty reality tv (i'll admit it), it's always sunny in philadelphia, workaholics, the league, traffic lights, sherlock (bbc), house.

music: i'm all over the board, sorry portland. my shuffle as I'm driving is likely to pop out any of the following: the xx, hopsin, deathcab, iron & wine, aesop rock, sage francis, led zeppelin, the beatles, the blow, jay z, comedy records, elliott smith, heatmiser, hazel, pond, friends' bands, wesley willis, childish gambino, the shins, cage, astronautilus, why?, deltron 3030, hall and oates, kenny loggins, bright eyes, and anything your mom played me during naughty time the previous night.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'll come back to this one
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I want a pocket whale.

My next great adventure, what I want to cook, a fun place to take my dogs...or I combine them: an adventurous place to cook my dogs. Kidding.

Why are there so many pictures of women with fake mustaches and/or jumping?

I think a lot about how awesome sugar snap peas are. For real.

Why hasn't PowerBall decided I should win, even when I don't play?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Every Friday is typical, as are the other days in the week, due to the fact that I live according to a highly-detailed and heavily-regimented schedule. My thoughts, feelings and activities are planned out down to the minute, and I would never deviate. There are no surprises, accidents or changes.

This is due to the fact that I have achieved 27th level wizard status in the Church of Scientology. Tom Cruise folds my socks and fetches me delicious pastries on the regular.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I sell meth to school kids, but only really young ones.

I have a two year old son who lives full-time with his mom and her ex-wife. She wasn't supposed to be able to have kids and always wanted to be a mom. Nature: 0, Me:1

To clarify the above statement, I play an active role (both financially and in hanging out) in my son's life. I just don't have him day-to-day, so I don't really know what it's like to be a single dad. He doesn't stay over with me, though I'd imagine when he gets older he may want to hang out in that fashion, which will be rad. As it is, though, he lives full time with his moms and we've all got a great relationship. My son's mom wasn't supposed to be able to have any kids due to a physical condition, so it was a happy accident. And, yes, this means I knocked up a lesbian. Though, I pretty much feel like most people are on some kind of sliding scale, because she obviously had sex with me. Or maybe I just look like a woman. I don't know. :) But he's a rad kid, and the world is better for having him in it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're looking for a grown-up who still has a kid active in there somewhere. To clarify, I haven't gone neo-Kronos and eaten young children -- I'm more speaking to the fact that I have a house, a job and a vehicle and I know how (mostly, I suppose) not to be a douche bag.

I'm not looking for nor interested in hook-ups. I'm looking for Mrs. Rad, and I'm willing to wait. We're both worth it :)
That said, I hate writing out-of-the-blue messages. And I'm not very good at it. But I can probably make you laugh until you fear peeing your pants in person. Unless you have no fear of peeing your pants. In which case, many elderly people want to know your secret.

Also, don't be sad when I repeatedly destroy your face at Boggle and/or Scrabble. It's not your fault; it happens to everyone.