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34 Austin, TX Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:36am
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Working on university
Sales / Marketing
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Okay), Irish (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
So what is the typical profile? Well lets see, My name is %$@#&^* and I like working out, riding horses, drinking wine, cooking, cuddling, taking long walks on the beach, and women 5'2"-5'3" / thin-athletic / dark hair / light eyes...blah blah blah

Ok, now lets google translate this:

Do I REALLY like to workout? No, but I have a gym memebership and I like to look as well as feel good. That being said, whether you like the gym or not it would do wonders for our friendship if you felt the same...

Do I REALLY like to ride horses? If you're an equestrian, go ahead and ask.

Do I REALLY like to drink wine? Well let me put it this way, I know the difference between pinot noir and peanut no ear...

Do I REALLY like to cook? F*ck yeah I do... I love being a mad scientist in the kitchen making something out of nothing and yes I like to cook for other people, but the lab has a few rules. 1) Woman ain't got no place in my kitchen, except if it's to do dishes (I hate doing dishes) or make me a ham sandwich and btw if you are the type of girl that believes the whole sandwich after thing, then I'd probably help you with the dishes. 2) No tasting till it's done and by done I mean on the table, besides that would mean you are in the kitchen which is a violation of rule #1. 3) No, you cannot help... you can linger in the door or sit at the bar if you want to keep me company. Helping leads to temptation to taste which is breaking rule #2 as well as #1.

Do I REALLY like to cuddle? F*ck no I don't...but I'll spoon like it's going out of style;)

Do I REALLY like to take long walks on the beach? I love ANYTHING on the beach.

Do I REALLY like my women 5'2"-5'3" / thin-athletic / dark hair / light eyes? Sure, as long as she's not a pretentious hipster drunken Shaolin Kung Fu retard that makes me regret ordering bottle service. I'll take the Disney Princess over the Lindsay Lohan any day of the week.

I'm a ricockulous fan of zombie movies as well as The Walking Dead series. Just so you know...

*UPDATE: Why the hell would get up on a dating site and not put up at least one pic?? If you don't have a CURRENT pic to at least give me some idea of who I am talking to, don't bother messaging me. I mean really...what if I approached you in a bar (or any public place for that matter) with a brown paper bag on my head and tried to lay some game down on you would you give me the time of day?? Yeah that's what I thought, me either...

**UPDATE: If you already have a boyfriend / husband / futuristic sex robot / someone who is under the impression you two are exclusive, DO NOT message me. Now it doesn't bother me if you are casually dating other dudes, but I mean c'mon if that's not the case then have some respect for the poor guy (as delusional as he may be) and cut him loose...

That is all, carry on.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Making a concerted effort to avoid the use of cliché phrases while living life to the fullest.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Answering questions devoid of ambiguity.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hard to say, but my outlook on things tends to entertain or so I'm told.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxell Maltz
The Dictionary by Webster
Anything with zombies...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The other 3 things I can't live without...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I've yet to have a "typical" friday, but I'm open to the experience.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It was me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've made it to this line or know what >8 means.