I'm so totally far out, one-of-a-kind different. (Someone just told me that about myself, and I think it's sort of accurate. In other words: I'm weird. Um, in the most awesome way.)

Someone once told me that on a scale of 1 to 10, I do things at an 11. I think it's true; I am intense. Go big or go home.

Apparently, I'm choosing the comments of others to summarize myself. Kind of like plagiarism. Take that for whatever it's worth.

If I think you are cute, odds are pretty good that I won't look you in the eye for a while. It makes me feel vulnerable, like you'll be able to see right through my pathetic facade. Then, of course, if I do eventually look you in the eye...well, then you explode.

Grad school. For-Ev-Er. Four or five more years until I'm Dr. Kirstenchick.

Applying mascara while driving.

I'd like to think it's my lightning fast wit and charming demeanor, but in all honesty, it's probably my boobs.

Oh, and I'm hilarious. People notice that.

Ok, starting with books...Heart of Darkness, Things Fall Apart, Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love, Tender is the Night, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, The Feminine Mystique, Wicked, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, The Sun Also Rises, Choke. Chuck Palahniuk, Tom Robbins, e.e. cummings, Laurie Notaro, Gloria Steinem, Kurt Vonnegut, L. Frank Baum, etc etc etc. Also, stuff with vampires.

Movies: Tim Burton. The Singing Detective, Eternal Sunshine, Garden State, Coffee & Cigarettes, Moulin Rouge, The Secretary, Happy Endings, Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, and any other Wes Anderson film, for that matter. You know, all the good ones. And really bad 80's movies, like Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Music: Well, everything with a serious lean toward the indie. The Magnetic Fields, Rufus Wainwright, Mike Doughty, Mates of State, Rilo Kiley, The Decemberists, El-P, Dead Prez, Queen, Bob Dylan, Ane Brun. To name a very few. I like the 80's, I like rap, I like cheesy love ballads (in an ironic way), I like punk rock, I like Elton John (in a non-ironic way). Really, I can listen to and enjoy just about anything, music is my favorite.

Foods: Yes, please.

toilet paper, music, a pen and paper, intellectual intercourse, a sense of humor, people who "get it" (I'm interpreting the term "things" quite loosely...also the number "six").

Thinking. It's very meta around here.

Here, there. Out, about. With any luck, having an adventure.

Yeah, nothing. I prefer to keep secrets. It's a flaw. Good news is, I'm a terrible liar, so if keeping something secret requires me to tell a lie, I probably won't be able to convincingly conceal whatever it is I'm hiding.

Let's actually start with reasons you should NOT message me: If you were planning on calling me "a cutie," if you can't think of anything more clever than a wink, if you have a profile full of subsitutions of the letter "u" for the word "you," if you are frightfully unattractive, or if you think you have a shot at getting me into bed (doubt it).

Moving on, you SHOULD message me if you have something lovely to teach me, like how to whistle or build things or ballroom dance.

Also if you don't suck at life, and if you are kind of a nerd, not in a "tapered-leg jeans and dungeon master" kind of way, but in an "unafraid to be your awesome self" way. If your awesome self includes tapered-leg jeans and D&D, well...I don't really know how to respond to that. I'm not judging you, though.

Message me RIGHT NOW if you are witty and brilliant and can make me laugh. And if you aren't intimidated by high standards and intelligence.

That's pretty much it.