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39 London, UK Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22-55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 3:40am
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Atheism and laughing about it
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
UPDATE: I am now travelling a huge amount (usually with myzlilith) - so if you see me looking at your profile & you're in a different city than London (e.g. Tokyo, Shanghai, NYC, Paris, SF or Mumbai) then it probably means I'll be visiting soon & am looking to meet new people to hang out with while we're there. If that sounds like fun, please get in touch.

Adventurers Wanted. Still want to go and have adventures, but my dance card is basically full these days.

Still very up for new friends (& have met quite a few through OKC, but I have 3 very lovely women in my life & not actively looking for any more).

I'm poly, and have been since I was in my teens. I'm in long-term open poly relationships (especially myzlilith, to whom I just got married). If that doesn't freak you out, and you just want friends, then let's go....

Do you like pubs with some character, theatres, galleries, museums, coffee shops, long walks in parks (or the real countryside)? Mountains, lakes, rivers, cities, urban decay, wilderness? Some or all of the above? Then we're very likely to get on.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time. Someday they're going to put that on my headstone. I've been there and done that. Quite a lot of it more than once.

These days, I'm a random blond thing that lives in London (although I travel a huge amount) and does "strange things with computers" during office hours.

I like hearing from people - and especially like recommendations for new books or films or other things I might like from people with a high Match or Friend percentage. "Hi, I browsed your profile and we have a good Match percentage and I can recommend you this thing ..." is a perfectly acceptable icebreaker to me - so come and talk to me if you wish.

I am progressive and an intellectual, but not po-faced or tribal about either. I value people and ideas above all else, and I care not what wrappers they come in. Having said that, if your attitude towards the two cultures is more Zadie Smith than CP Snow, we probably won't get on - and we definitely won't if you're hostile to the aims of feminism (and more broadly, equality in general), or believe that it is no longer necessary.

I am a screaming pervert, and whilst it is possible for me to form entirely excellent relationships which are vanilla, this is not usually how the cookie crumbles.

I value sparkling conversation, fine wine and good food. Or good conversation, sparkling wine and fine food. I would have to be convinced about the other permutation however - sparkling food does not immediately appeal. I am inordinately fond of my kitchen and am rarely happier than when roasting a chicken whilst I demolish a bottle of claret with someone dear to me as we set the world to rights.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I do "strange things with computers" for a living, all over the world. I'm most often in London, NYC, SF, Paris and various other cities. I'm quite often traveling to speak at conferences and other gatherings of people in my field.

I write - books, papers, articles, blog posts, you name it. Mostly it's about tech & my field, but that does seem to be changing recently.

Outside of work, I can be found in techno, SM/fetish, goth and industrial clubs or in fine restaurants or pubs (with proper beer) or hacking on Open Source code. I like gaming (board/card games, not video games so much) but very rarely have the chance to play - my schedule tends to be very full.

If I'm away from London, I'll be in the mountains walking and snowboarding, or by the sea surfing or just off wandering the world somewhere. I've been to lots of different places and though I love London the best (with SF, NY, Bangkok and Switzerland as fairly distant seconds), I'm always up for some more exploring. I've seen a pretty wide range of massively awesome things, but there is always more to do.

Before I discovered that I liked industry far, far better than I liked academia, I was once a fairly decent mathematician and physicist. I never quite made it to finishing my PhD, and now I doubt I'll ever go back, given that things seem to suit me better the way they are now.

(For the technically-minded, I can rant cheerfully about an entire range of subjects given half a chance, and reserve my greatest vitriol for String Theory et al).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Living well, thinking, computers, listening, mathematics, cooking.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Lots of friendly energy, black clothes, blond hair, cute blue eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Iain Banks, Angela Carter, Sylvia Plath, Neil Gaiman, Grant Morrison, Peter van der Linden, WB Yeats, James Joyce, China Mieville, Will Self

Movies: Withnail and I, Lola Rennt, The Big Chill, American Beauty, Throne of Blood, Return Of The Living Dead, Love and Other Catastrophes, Metropolis, Life Of Brian, Princess Bride, Twelve Monkeys, Big Lebowski, But I'm A Cheerleader, Aria, Casablanca, Requiem For A Dream, Star Wars, The Dark Knight

Music: Rammstein, Wolfsheim, New Order, Pixies, Apoptygma Bezerk, Joy Division, Underworld, Orbital, VNV Nation, Carter USM, Ayria, PWEI, Nine Inch Nails, Neuroticfish, Depeche Mode, New Model Army, Birthday Massacre

Food+Drink: Steak, Italian, Thai, Chinese, Sushi, Indian, Red wine, White wine, Real Ale, Single Malt
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Love 2) Sex 3) My Friends 4) Books 5) Cats 6) Wine
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Love, Sex, My Friends, Books, Cats, Wine, Computers
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working, then in a restaurant somewhere, then out clubbing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
[Obscured on legal advice]
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can put up with me messaging you back. If you're interested in meeting a new person who could be a good friend or date. If you like goths, geeks, intense conversations about a range of subjects, BDSM / fetish / kinky stuff or any of the rest of the above.