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kmaes

29 / M / Straight / Single

Brooklyn, New York

His Details

Last Online
Today – 3:00am
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m).
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Very often
Drugs
Religion
Atheism and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Banking / Financial / Real Estate
Income
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Even though

"The secret to being boring is to say everything"

(-Voltaire)

I will tell you I am

"the G.G. Allin of casual conversation"

(-Traeg Traegball)
What I’m doing with my life
Monday-Friday

7:30-8:45-Oversleep
8:45-9:15-L, 4/5 Train Commute
9:30-Whenever I'm Done Getting Work-Fucked:
1. Defend Obama from twat Banking colleagues
2. Talk about "underground Bands...like Death Cab For Cutie" with colleagues
3. Feign interest in conversation with Staten Island Zumba-Wife admins
4. Get chewed out by Long Island Mean Girl colleague for being "hipster"
5. (Anecdote-description over drinks sometime, here)
6. " "
7. " "
After Work-Bed:
1. (Anecdote-description over drinks sometime, here)
2. " "
3. Implore my guitars to love me
4. Troll OK Cupid for cutest visitors of the day
5. Message cute OK Cupid girl who "[loves] sarcasm" or "[is] really sarcastic" something sarcastic

Saturday-Sunday

11:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m.-Oversleep
1:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.:
1. Implore my guitars to love me
2. (Anecdote-description over drinks sometime, here)
3. " "
4. " "
8:00 p.m.-1:00 a.m.-" "
1:00 a.m.-4:00 a.m.-" "
I’m really good at
-Premature Assgrabulation
-Fumbling ass at the one-yard line
-Looking at maps
The first things people usually notice about me
-Midwestern Nice
-TOTES adorbs fatch
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
-Radiohead and Minutemen are the only two bands irrevocably in my personal pantheon, but I do have Dismemberment Plan and Unwound tattoos
-I've read one novel in the past four years, "A Visit From The Goon Squad," and have no plans to read any others (UPDATE: I just finished "This Is How You Lose Her." I look forward to reenacting it with you someday)
-I ran into Michael K. Williams at the intersection of Havermeyer & Metropolitan once. As soon as I realized who it was, I screamed "Omar comin'! Omar comin'!" and ran in the opposite direction
-I love Pete Campbell
-Who's orchestrating the "Gus Fring & Barack Obama Were Separated At Birth" and "Hank & Frank Black Were Separated At Birth" conspiracies?
-Arya Stark reminds me I want to be a dad one day
The six things I could never do without
O | O | O
---|--- |---
O | O | O
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-Why girls wear Mom j'orts, and if they'd be the kind who, under a dress, would wear bike shorts
-Punmanteaus
-Why? (the band)
On a typical Friday night I am
-Wondering why I'm seeing middling bands somewhere in Brooklyn

or

-At a yuppie bar, tuning out conversation, wondering why I'm not seeing middling bands somewhere in Brooklyn
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
-I own "Teenage Dream" on vinyl
-I hate steak
-Girls who list "Being on this site" in this space on their profile annoy me
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–34
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex
You should message me if
-You're an "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" face
-You're the girl wearing the Nirvana shirt:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XdYnh729IQ