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31 Brooklyn, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–34
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Jan 30, 2014
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
When drinking
Very often
Atheism, and laughing about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Banking / Finance
Seeing Someone
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Even though

"The secret to being boring is to say everything"


I will tell you I am

"the G.G. Allin of casual conversation"

(-Traeg Traegball)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.

8:45-9:15-L, 4/5 Train Commute
9:30-Whenever I'm Done Getting Work-Fucked:
1. Defend Obama from twat Banking colleagues
2. Talk about "underground Death Cab For Cutie" with colleagues
3. Feign interest in conversation with Staten Island Zumba-Wife admins
4. Get chewed out by Long Island Mean Girl colleague for being "hipster"
5. (Anecdote-description over drinks sometime, here)
6. " "
7. " "
After Work-Bed:
1. (Anecdote-description over drinks sometime, here)
2. " "
3. Implore my guitars to love me
4. Troll OK Cupid for cutest visitors of the day
5. Message cute OK Cupid girl who "[loves] sarcasm" or "[is] really sarcastic" something sarcastic


11:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m.-Oversleep
1:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.:
1. Guitar
2. (Anecdote-description over drinks sometime, here)
3. " "
4. " "
8:00 p.m.-1:00 a.m.-" "
1:00 a.m.-4:00 a.m.-" "
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Premature Assgrabulation
-Fumbling ass at the one-yard line
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
-Midwestern Nice
-TOTES adorbs fatch
-Black skinny jeans bulge
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
-Radiohead and Minutemen are the only two bands irrevocably in my personal pantheon, but I do have Dismemberment Plan and Unwound tattoos
-I've read one novel in the past four years, "A Visit From The Goon Squad," and have no plans to read any others (UPDATE: I just finished "This Is How You Lose Her." I look forward to dramatizing it with you someday)
-I ran into Michael K. Williams at the intersection of Havermeyer & Metropolitan once. As soon as I realized who it was, I screamed "Omar comin'! Omar comin'!" and ran in the opposite direction
-I love Pete Campbell
-Who's orchestrating the "Gus Fring & Barack Obama Were Separated At Birth" and "Hank & Frank Black Were Separated At Birth" conspiracies?
-Arya Stark reminds me I want to be a dad one day
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
O | O | O
---|--- |---
O | O | O
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-Why girls wear Mom j'orts, and if they'd be the kind who, under a dress, would wear bike shorts
-Why? (the band)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
-Wondering why I'm seeing middling bands somewhere in Brooklyn


-At a yuppie bar, tuning out conversation, wondering why I'm not seeing middling bands somewhere in Brooklyn
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
-I own "Teenage Dream" on vinyl
-I hate steak
-Girls who list "Being on this site" in this space on their profile annoy me
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You're an "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" face
-You're the girl wearing the Nirvana shirt: