I don't have time to read much anymore. But I want to ride Mark
Twain's mustache off into the sunset.
Mystery Science Theater 3000. No Reservations. Good Eats. Trailer
Park Boys. Futurama. The Big Lebowski. Super Troopers. Too Cute,
but only when I'm too weird to be okay with anything but piles of
puppies and kittens.
I'm a vegetarian except for when I'm not. I'm also a ninja turtle -
I eat pizza probably four times a week, grilled cheese is for lunch
the other three. Hey, ass ain't gon' stay fat on its own. Almost
everything I eat I make myself. I'll bake your grandma under the
table... [insert dick sucking grandma joke here]. I'm kidding about
that last part, I'm sure she's a wonderful lady. Stuff tastes
better cooked on a fire. I've brought grown men to tears with a
solid campin' breakfast - ashy eggs and taters. Rice and beans and
rice and beans and ricin beans but mostly rice and beans.
I listen to music that makes nuns cry and booties bounce. Foot
stompin', whiskey drinkin', howl at the moon shit. And music that
only sounds good on acid.