Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Atheist. Dog momma. Beard lover. Harry Potter fanatic. Zombie
junkie. Jesse Lacey enthusiast. Vodka drinker. Stiletto nail
aficionado. Grammar nazi. Snow White/NCIS Abby look-alike. Makeup
hoarder. Pizza/chocolate eater. Emoji user. Night owl.
Self-proclaimed weirdo. Red lipstick wearer. Double-degree
educated. Indiana native. Bibliophile. Empath. Kink friendly. Long
term care/Rehab facility employee. Selfie taker. Road rage
extraordinaire. All black errythang.
It's scary how much that actually describes me.
Hopefully you're not boring. Message me if you'd like! Seriously
though, I'm not going to respond to "hi."
*Messages starting out "hey babi your so sexxi" and "lemme eat you
out gurr"...... Seriously? You're embarrassing yourselves. Just
stop. However, for those of you who will still think it's funny to
message me with some version of the aforementioned... I can assure
you that I will not think you're funny or cute, no matter how
good-looking you think you are or how much money you supposedly
earn. You're a disgusting, witless, unoriginal douchebag that
clearly lacks a decent personality.
*yes, I did my own zombie makeup.
**no, it doesn't make me a **** for not replying to you. I'm not
obligated to talk to you for reading my profile. If I don't reply,
there's a reason...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a COTA/L
That stands for Certified/Licensed Occupational Therapy Assistant.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Untangling Christmas lights
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes! And my lipstick. I wear red lipstick any chance I
For fuck's sake, people. Just because I like black and some other
random weird shit does not make me gothic. The next time I get a
"I've always wanted to fuck a goth chick" message, I will lure you
into a trap, and then blast your tiny penis all over any social
media I can find.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Love to read. Harry Potter and the likes. Augusten Burroughs books.
Other randoms here and there.
Harry Potter movies all day, any day. Any movie with Jim Carrey in
it. Batman movies. Spider-Man movies. Any National Lampoon's movie.
Zombieland. Any Disney movie. If you don't like Disney, we won't
The Walking Dead, Mad Men, How I Met Your Mother, Once Upon A Time,
Breaking Bad, Workaholics
Favorite band ever is Brand New :)
Manchester Orchestra, Kevin Devine, Bad Books, and the likes.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My dog, red lipstick, music, friends, my phone, and a blanket! I'm
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
When I'll be able to sleep next.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Movie night on the couch or out with friends!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I talk to my dog as if she's human.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to? Can't guarantee that I'll reply.. 😉
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.