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36 North Hollywood, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 26–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Feb 18
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Doesn’t have kids

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Seriously, I HAVE A BEARD, it is not going away, if you hate it, or want me to shave, then don't respond and delete me.

Its shocking I have to say this, but here are a few things I thought were givens. 1. you MUST wear deodorant. 2. you must NOT steal money from me or anyone else. 3. if you don't live within 3/4 of a mile from my house you MUST have transportation.

A friend told me the other day, after reading my profile,"your profile is hilarious, but you are never going to meet someone online because they don't get what parts of your profile are serious and what parts are jokes." I then cried myself to sleep.

I feel this is something that shouldn't have to be said, but apparently it does. The idea of a dating website, is to actually meet and date. If you are trying to schedule me for a date 2 weeks in advance then, 1. you are too busy to date anyway. 2. you have so many dates that, like a lot of people in LA, you can't focus on one person and are constantly looking for a better option. I would venture to guess you also don't rsvp to parties just in case something better comes along. or 3. you like many free meals from guys. Possibly all three. I know i am being pretty specific here, but how about only write me if you have time to meet.

I just got this message a while back. "Have you ever attracted a normal woman from this site? Reason I ask is your profile literally screams "only strange women" will get along with me. Not sure what you want out of this site, but if looking for a normal person, reconsider rewriting your profile." My reply was as follows, "My profile was written in a very specific way for a reason. The reason is to weed out people who don't understand sarcasm and have zero senses of humor. I think it is working nicely. I will tell you one thing, when attempting to insult someone, it is important to use proper english, "reconsider rewriting" would mean leave it as is, and to say it "literally screams 'only strange women'" would mean my profile has a voice that screams, this is something I need to look into building. I am very sorry you are retarded. I hope you don't forget to breathe as you read this."


You got to love when you come across your ex on here. Just shitty awkward fun.

NO WEB CAM GIRLS... Fuck, why do i even have to mention this? Porn is fucking free, why in gods name would I ever pay to watch a girl on cam?

If I can tell you smell, just by the look of you in your photos, it probably wont work out.

If you have a wonky eye, or a hook for a hand, or a giant gap in your teeth then that should be what you put under the topic "The first things people usually notice about me", not your great personality, or your wild hair.

I find it odd that people join a dating website and are only looking for friends....

I am reaching a point where i don't care anymore...

Anyone who thinks the earth is bigger than the sun, please remove yourself from your existence on the planet.. we dont have room for you anymore, because when...WHEN the zombies attack, we are going to have to kill you anyway.

Ok... Which is worse: starving children or abused animals? If you answered abused animals... then please stop reading, delete my profile and punch yourself in the face.

Its really funny how many girls hate ed hardy, and say "if you have a shirtless picture..move on, even if you have a 6 pack" and every guy looks at pictures to try to see a full body shot, but we keep getting the camera over the head, bj looking view...which is fine for you cause it hides your triple chin and shows cleavage... throw a body shot in there too.

I do like dogs and tolerate cats, but if you live in a studio apartment and your animals sit inside all day then, not only are you selfish for leaving them in there with out a yard to play in, but your place smells like shit... I have a funny story if you want to hear it.

This should be fun, if it is going to be full of drama why do it?

I am an actor who does handy man work and edits swear words and boobs out of movies so we can watch them on tv... I am an open book. I like going to movies, going out to eat, working out, I try to keep in decent shape and you should too. I am from Arizona and miss the desert.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
see above
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
um I can fix about anything, and I can do the splits and cuddle like a son of a bitch
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my shoulders and eyes and I have monkey arms... not hairy, but long
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
confederacy of dunces, count of monte cristo, everybody poops
i love all movies..."Pitch Perfect", "scott pilgrim vs the world","inception", "braless in burbank"
cake, offspring, eminem, i am all over the place
pizza, sushi, mexican
and love me some video games... i want to play the new halo
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
air, food, shelter, water, clothing.... i only need 5
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
touching a boob... I am getting tired of filling this out. what do people think about really? I like to concentrate on my beard growth.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
see above
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Every once in a while i will take a shot if vinegar with salt... just a cap full....
Oh, I sometimes mix up there and their... I dont know why that makes some prudes so angry...There retarded... see what i did their..

For this section if you answered "That I am on OK Cupid," then you are stupid. This section is for people reading your profile.

And to all the people who say "Then it would not be a secret" when they are answering this question, you are a fucking idiot... read the question, it says "most private thing you are willing to admit" not "tell us a secret"
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-age does not matter to me so it shouldn't to you
-dont mind going camping and getting dirty
-you are actually a real person
-live fairly close
-not a porn bot
-not a web cam girl, should clarify, i don't care if you are a web cam girl, i just don't wanna pay to see you naked.
-you like to laugh
-you can make fun of yourself and me
-you are good at back rubs, or willing to try... I give good ones so its nice to get them back
-no trannys

here is another great person
her response after a simple, "how are you"
Oh moe,
so sad, but it looks like I don't meet your criteria.

Why not?

Don't worry about it, you don't meet my criteria. Your Woman-bashing and immature responses to someone's hurtful remarks are what you've posted in the first paragraph of your profile! Name-calling is terribly off-putting. The fact that you are prideful in your equally mean response does not paint a pretty picture of who you are and the way you interact with people. It seems like you have a really negative view of women. For this reason I do not wish to converse with you, meet you or suck your dick.

Holy shit, you have completely missed the point. Not only am I not negative, but I love women. That being said your small female mind, obviously, does not understand sarcasm. You probably think everyone should be treated with respect even when they are complete fuckheads, like the woman in my profile and you. Respect is something earned not given. That being said, the fact that you said,"my perky tits" shows the level of respect you are calling for. I would not ask you to suck my dick because I am not into threesomes. You obviously already have a cock shoved so far up your ass you can not think straight. You are truly a delight.

new girl,( traditionalgrl7 ) you can look her up if you feel so inclined, when i wrote her she had two sentences, and my first note was "hey, how are you this morning"

her response
Dude. Chill. That girl is trying to help you. If you are contacting girls that look like ME , I'll be honest and say I must agree with what the girl wrote and by broadcasting that on your profile you're simply embarrassing yourself.
You clearly need straight up ruthless honesty like most guys and she gave it to you in a way you'd understand and I'm doing the same thing.
If you want a girl that looks like me, you can't e an asshole and have a disgusting long beard - THAT is what screams "I'm not fuckable but ill take care of you when you're sick." Women want both. You only have one IF you're looking for girls like me and the other one on your profile who you labeled "retarded" .. Really??? Again, she was being nice and honest and I think you need to appreciate that and tell her thank you instead of broadcasting yourself as being a typical self loathing, asshole loser who can't take rejection or feedback along with the rest of the male species.
Ya know what happened last time I rejected a guy in real life? He poored candy all over my doorstep in hopes of porch being covered with roaches.
Lol in other words, when guys get turned down and women tell them the truth about What they need to change and How in order to get X girl and they fight it? ... Then stop going for girls you can't get and find girls that go more with the type of person you are.
For example there are certain girls who like bearded men -- find them bc it's a huge turnoff and I'm telling you that out of love and not hate.
But you will clearly take it as hate, just like you took the last girls advice.
Good luck and stop being so mean and negative that makes you extremely ugly.
Feel free to spare me the temper tantrum email response that is boiling inside of you right now and handle this like a man.
Take care.

my response
Dear TWAT, I call you this because you didn't sign your name at the end of your lovely note. So I had to guess. Please let me know if I am wrong and it is SNATCH or GASH or CUNT. I am pretty good at guessing names. First, my dear COOTER, you have a very warped opinion of how hot you really are. You are average looking, at best you could maybe audition for like a walmart spot or something selling earrings, but that would be it. Because of your warped sense of self I would have to assume you just got here from some pig farm in the midwest. And to that I applaud you, LA is a very rough city and it takes balls to come out here, or in your case minge. ohhh, is that your name? MINGE? I am gonna get it, I am telling you I am good. Now when you actually start to get out you will notice that not only are you not the prettiest girl in the room, but you are now cleaning their tables. Its ok, everyone needs a job, make sure they spell HOLE right on your name tag. I am not going to get into the women I have dated or havent dated, but I also dont know where in my profile you found a thing that says I would take care of you when you are sick. Why in gods green earth would I want to date a sick girl? That being said, BOX, if you read my profile, I specifically say, if you dont like beards or are not interested, do not write me back. But like most MUFFS of your ilk, you dont take directions well. How is that working out for you? Also, CLAM, you called me a "typical self loathing asshole, loser who cant take rejection or feedback", I am at best 75% of those things, not 100% so i think you judged me poorly. I take rejection very well, obviously. Oh is your name, CUM DUMPSTER? I have a feeling I am close. I loved your story about the clown you rejected, I assume he was a clown or a child molester, because who carries candy in their pockets. Do you think maybe he left the candy to pull the roaches out of your TRENCH? Side note to that, did he have a beard? I only write you back with love and not negativity because I care for you, you are a 28 year old HOT DOG HOLSTER whose beauty is so great she has to resort to online dating. Yes I am here also, but I am ugly and an asshole loser, so I have no choice. I wish you well, my dear sweet MEAT CURTAINS, by all means stay in touch. Oh, I got it, its HOG EYE, thats makes sense, because of your farm life and such.