French and American but from Wales, an odd accent, left and right brain, left and center politics, pacifist fighter, tattooed white collar worker, world traveler, writer-cum-comedian-cum-improviser-cum-activist, most at home when not, tries to speak every language, makes fun of everything and everyone but takes everything and everyone seriously...
Falling hard in love for the first time - High School, 2004-2005
- Attained 'people don't understand our love' in standardized testing
- Outperformed phone bill portfolio, increasing debt pool to family's chagrin
- First pregnancy scare (no fetus, just a terrfied piss in a public restroom)
Being single and young and living at an international boarding school in the middle of nowhere - High school, 2005-2006
- Copied the keys to the pool for moonlit skinny dips
- Achieved suspension due to Lifeguard Party Summer Project
- Certificate in privacy management: several roommates, small room
Dating - College, 2006 - 2009
Majored in Mis-Communication Studies
- Emphasized accent with low loss ratio
- Lobbied for Grexit of frats from campus
- Outlier resulted in wasted time due to faulty due diligence
- Initiated credit default swap on dating, but then the market crashed and my stock plummeted in the eyes of investors.
Long distance relationship, 2009-2010
- Proficient at 'Sexy Skype'
- Excelled at cute notes
- Submitted collection of love/anguish poems to Sports Illustrated
- Coded own gross language
- Plotted city-wide treasure hunt
- Credited with over 3 surprise visits
Traveling relationship, 2010-2011
- Traveled to over 6 countries with partner
- Lived in a tent
- Keynote speaker at conference titled 'Thanksgiving with host family in Texas'
Intense whirlwind relationship, 2012
- Developed disaster relief plan
- Published white paper on 'don't date the mentally unstable'
- Achieved 3:1 laugh:cry ratio
Casual dating, 2012-present
- Not internet
- Adhering to the maxim 'don't date twice unless you want to date thrice'
- Twice awarded 'Best Coffee-Beer combo on a First Date'
- Nominee for soonest 'Too soon?' joke
- Lifetime Achievement for STD Avoidance
- Bilingual in intimate whispering
- Recent double-dip recession in physical attractiveness due to rugby-induced broken nose (aka 'Raccoon Face')
- Accomplished 17 consecutive quarters of stubble
References available upon request.