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28 Spring, TX Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 22-45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 9:35am
Open relationship
Relationship Type
5' 1" (1.55m)
Body Type
Used up
Special Diet
Has kid(s)
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Other (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Former motor city resident misplaced [clap-clap-clap-clap] deep in the heart of Texas. Is everywhere the heart of Texas? I swear that is how it seems! I guess Houston is more the armpit of Texas. Sick burn!

Anyway... I'm a cupcake baking cuddle-enthusiast with a tendency to laugh at everything. I appreciate the occasional poorly told joke. I am extremely outspoken yet always open to hear another opinion. I'm a lexical linguist with an appreciation for awesome alliterations. I probably like you for your dog.

I spent a ton of my childhood watching the Disney channel in between trying just about every activity out there. Through that, I've become a Jack(ie) of all trades with a well honed sense of humor akin to your middle-aged Uncle. (More Joey than Jesse, sadly.) I find magic in everything!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am doing things, mostly for the sake of misadventure. Also drinking a ton of tea and eating too much sugar.

I have a big girl job at which I pretend to adult, but mostly end up blowing bubbles all day long. (Why yes, I am a mermaid.)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at finding fun in the little things. Remembering minuscule details. Also making punny cards, planning surprises, teaching dance, eating chocolate ice cream, and cuddling all of the puppies.

I'm really bad at not collecting stray dogs to try and find their owners.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I will talk to anyone, no matter who they are. I love meeting new people!

Or maybe the amount I talk with my hands. Conversations are interpretive dances to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite book is Anthem by Ayn Rand. Even though I hate Ayn Rand.
Honorable mentions include: Eating Animals by Jonathon Safran Foer, Harry Potter, Stiff by Mary Roach, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, Night by Elie Wiesel, Time and Again by Jack Finney, and The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory. Also, Roald Dahl was the man.

My favorite movie is Love Actually. Honorable mentions include: Just about any Disney movie, Bridesmaids, 500 Days of Summer, Inception, and I Love You Man.

Lost and Full House are the best TV shows of all time. I'm sure they share a lot of the same demographic. Also Weeds, Archer, Bob's Burgers, Gilmore Girls, Star Trek, Broad City, and Orange is the New Black.

I listen to things and stuff. Elton John, John Legend, The Black Keys, Zac Brown Band, The Beatles, Roy Orbison, She & Him, Dave Matthews, George Jones, Jay Z, and Bruno Mars. I know all of the words to Juicy J's epic hit "Slob on my Knob."

My favorite food is Swedish Fish. I am a vegetarian and my favorite non-candy food is hummus. I will eat it on almost anything.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot. a sentence fragment. Here are things I find neat:

Dresses- I only have to pick out one article of clothing for an entire day? Done.

97.9 The Box old school hip hop mix- Sometimes you need to hear "Check Yoself" while you eat lunch.

Google- My most recent search: "ICP Yo Gabba Gabba cover."

A ton of bobby pins- usually scattered throughout my life.

Detroit sports- Go Red Wings!

Incorrigible optimism- Go Lions!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Where in the world are Aladdin's nipples?

How can I create a portmanteau or pun out of something that was just said? Punmanteaus if I'm lucky.

Do Dunkaroos still exist? Because I need some.

Will I ever get my soul back from Apple? Will they at least market an iSoul?

Finally, is it time for Christmas music yet?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Making bad decisions. Or baking an array of sugary deliciousness. Binge watching Netflix. Possibly wearing footy pajamas. Probably snuggling a dog. Finding all of the wrong people on the Internet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think underwear is for chumps!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You have a good joke to add to my repertoire.
-You're a fan of the Oxford comma.
-You know what I mean when I say "Fire up Chips!" Without Google!
-You have extensive knowledge of internet memes.
-You are Jimmy Fallon.
-You are completely cool with the fact that "MMMbop" is and always will be my karaoke song of choice.
-You dig consensual non-monogamy.
-You like piña coladas and not getting caught in a Polio outbreak.
-You want to pretend we are engaged so that we can go out and eat a ton of free cake samples.

Finally, I get that you think it's cool that I'm sex positive. I think it's cool that you are too, but if all you have to offer me is a weenie (even if it's a nice one,) I'm not particularly interested. Those are pretty easy to come by! [Ba dum tsssss...]