hello. i'm going to pretend this isn't an exercise in futility. i'm from the midwest via LA and philadelphia. i'm presently trying to keep it real on the lower east side, but i don't know if it's working. my friends think i'm funny, but probably not as funny as i think i'm funny. i recently adopted a cat who is crawling up my back as i'm trying to write this. i don't have a criminal record. largely because sarcasm isn't a crime yet. i'm a pretty tolerant person. except when it comes to lactose. fuck that shit.

kidding aside, i'm a pretty genuine person. rough on the outside, maybe, but soft and chewy on the inside. i can be surprisingly romantic, i'm passionate about a number of things, i just don't wear my heart, or my baggage, on my sleeve. i've been up and down and over and out, but i still believe in things. i'm not on here for any particular reason except to find new faces, places, voices to crack into the routine. maybe you can help. i'd like that.

i'm a director of technology for a small finance company. i know lots about tech, next to nothing about finance. it's weird that i'm even doing this at all; my background was in literature. i've been in NYC for about six years. i have a love/hate relationship with it, as i think most people should. i work, i hang out, i see shows. but i don't try to stay busy constantly.

making a bad pun. fixing your computer. paying for dinner. navigating a crowded sidewalk. not hiding my sarcasm. avoiding housework. offending people with facebook status updates. ordering a last round of drinks nobody asked for. romantic t-sql queries. getting unfriended on facebook.

i have very blue eyes. that's usually first it seems. after that they usually notice that i've set myself on fire with the tea candle while trying to make a point.

i hate this question. shall i impress you with my diverse but credentialed taste in entertainment? i like shows that make me laugh (or cry), music that rocks or swings or grooves and books with lots of pictures.

my phone, seamless, a worn in pair of jeans, friends, a vacation to look forward to, and a glass of bourbon after work.

why my cat pays so much attention to my shoelaces but has never once made the effort to learn how to tie them.

bar tabs should be tax deductible when you're minding your own business.

why my home button rarely takes me home.

opening a restaurant called "damn, son dim sum".

what it was that i said.

volunteering for the liquor removal effort at a local pub with some friends.

you're sane, comfortable in life, down to earth, but hardly conventional. you just want to meet someone new and have no idea what to expect. or maybe you're a pan-dimensional sphere of light. totally message me if you're that.

i don't know. say hi. i'm not a weirdo.