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lets_pretend

39 M New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:48am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Aries
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
hello there. i'm from the midwest via LA and philadelphia. i'm presently trying to keep it real on the lower east side, but i don't know if it's working. my friends think i'm funny, but probably not as funny as i think i'm funny. i recently adopted a cat who is crawling up my back as i'm trying to write this. i don't have a criminal record. largely because sarcasm isn't a crime yet. i'm a pretty tolerant person. except when it comes to lactose. fuck that shit.

kidding aside, i'm a genuine person. rough on the outside, maybe, but soft and chewy on the inside. i can be surprisingly romantic, i'm passionate about a number of things, i just don't wear my heart, or my baggage, on my sleeve. i've been up and down and over and out, but i still believe in things. i'm not on here for any particular reason except to find new faces, places, voices to crack into the routine. maybe you can help. i'd like that.
What I’m doing with my life
i'm a director of technology for a small finance company. i know lots about tech, next to nothing about finance. it's weird that i'm even doing this at all; my background was in literature. i've been in NYC for about six years. i have a love/hate relationship with it, as i think most people should. i work, i hang out, i see shows. but i don't try to stay busy constantly.
I’m really good at
making a bad pun. fixing your computer. paying for dinner. navigating a crowded sidewalk. not hiding my sarcasm. avoiding housework. offending people with facebook status updates. ordering a last round of drinks nobody asked for. romantic t-sql queries. getting unfriended on facebook.
The first things people usually notice about me
my eyes are very blue.

also, I kind of look like a monkey. and smell like one, or so I've been told on my birthday.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
i like books, movies, shows, music and food. i probably like something you like. does that make me interesting?
The six things I could never do without
my phone, seamless, a worn in pair of jeans, friends, a vacation to look forward to, and a glass of bourbon after work.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why my cat pays so much attention to my shoelaces but has never once made the effort to learn how to tie them.

bar tabs should be tax deductible when you're minding your own business.

why my home button rarely takes me home.

opening a restaurant called "damn, son dim sum".

what it was that i said.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i'm a 400 year old vampire. so i'm kind of hard to impress.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 28–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
you're sane, comfortable in life, down to earth, but hardly conventional. you just want to meet someone new and have no idea what to expect. or maybe you're a pan-dimensional sphere of light. totally message me if you're that.

also, seeking a partner in crime. literally. if you have a car and can get us to the canadian border avoiding major highways, let's talk. i have a potentially lucrative proposition....

i don't know. say hi. i'm not a weirdo.