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30 Milwaukee, WI Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 25-40
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:43pm
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Average build
Special Diet
Dropped out of Space camp
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has dogs
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hey dudes of OKCupid internet dating land. What's up. My name is Lexi.
You're probably looking at this because you like my face. Either that or I've been e-stalking you. OR maybe your cat just walked onto your computer and clicked on my profile. A catastrophe.
What ever way things unfolded, if you're still reading this you probably want to know a few more things about my face. So move my galoshes, have a seat, and come with me now on a journey through time and space... oh wait. Ahem. A brief and quite probably stilted summary of me, then.

If I'd call myself any one thing I guess it would be an artist (which is not a title I have taken on lightly, without first undergoing a great deal of toddler-esque tantrum throwing and flailing about). I make things, I paint, I take pictures. Once upon a time I went to art school, which I mostly loathed and eventually dropped out of, having reached my quota of pretentious bullshit. I now conduct my art activities in the privacy of my own dank basement cave studio (my Batcave, if you will), in the company of spiders who are for the most part unpretentious. They're not so great at constructive criticism however. I think it might be the language barrier.
Since I dropped out of art school I've been working in the fourth circle of hell.. aka as a photo wench at a Walgreens. It sucks. A lot. a lot. a lot.

So I don't meet any guys in my day-to-day life, given that I work with mostly old ladies whom I adore but are just not my type. Thus, here I am on OKStupid.. um. OKCupid. Yeah, that's it. No wait. The first one.

Hm, what else... oh, non sequiturs!

During my stint in art school, my younger brother opened my school bag to find it contained nothing but a half-drunk bottle of water and a plastic squid. I have yet to live that one down.

My sense of humor is kind of lame. I make horrible tacky word puns a lot. And then I giggle to myself. Because I think I'm hilarious.

I love animals, pretty much of any kind. (Except centipedes, what business do they have, having so many damn legs? Anyway are they even animals? I digress.) Most of all I love dogs, and I get real stupid excited when I see one. They are the best. A lot of times I like them more than humans by a wide margin.
My number one bitch (it's a technical term, ok) is Kiely, and she is seriously super duper. I'm so in love with her that it's nauseating, even to me. Just kidding. But seriously though. She's glorious. Glorious! I don't know anyone else who can effortlessly digest 90% of a coyote skull including all but 2 1/2 of the teeth. She ain't basic, she's a bad bitch.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to live as much of it as possible in my houseclothes. And by that I mean pajamas.

I have invented a new activity to accompany my love of houseclothes, which I call "Knitflix." Essentially I knit for hours upon hours while mass-consuming Netflix garbage. This can only end with my brain matter, having turned to useless goo, seeping from my ear canals. So I've got that going for me.
Also, Legos. I have rediscovered my childhood love of Legos ermahgerd heavy breathing. Except now that I am a grown up I have money to unwisely squander on all the expensive sets my immature heart desires! Paying bills is for suckers.

Painting/drawing/photography'ing for shits and gigs as always.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Staying up all night. Navigating subway systems. Procrastinating. Making banana bread.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I am human, female, and have all my limbs. But I'm just guessing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like books. A lot. I devour books like the cookie monster does cookies. Or broccoli. Whatever he's into now-a-days. I am going to be honest, I read a lot of trash. I feel like I'm reaching a point in my life where I just do not give a fuck about impressing people with obscure or offbeat interests. So yeah. I love Harry Potter (uh.. I have the Deathly Hallows symbol tattooed on my arm, so....). I find Truman Capote to be so beautifully eloquent. Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is kinda my jam. I own the entire "True Blood" book series. I'm not that cool. I'm reading Harry Potter again if you're curious. Which you're probably not.

Movies... Casablanca, Zombieland, Wristcutters, The Family Stone (secretly this is my favorite of favorites, it's my comfort movie), Ghostbusters, Lord of the Rings so hard it hurts, and on and on. My collection of DVDs is out of hand.

TV. Knitflixing. My brains are leaking from my ears. I like weird and spooky shit and lowbrow comedy. Medical related stuff too, because I've always wanted to not actually be a doctor but play one on TV.
I'm watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt right now and it is just.. I mean. Sublimely too much.

As for music, I like the rock 'n roll. The good stuff. I'm hopelessly out of touch with music these days. It makes me feel old. But anyway, here is a smattering of my favorites:
Simon and Garfunkel, Tom Waits, Nirvana, Butch Walker, Alexz Johnson, Jeff Buckley, The Clash, Tom Petty, The Rolling Stones, Brand New, Robert Johnson, Langhorne Slim, The Gaslight Anthem, Gogol Bordello, Elliott Smith, Neil Young, Social Distortion, Van Morrison, Elvises (Elvii?) Presley and Costello, Johnny Cash, Eisley, The Ramones, Damien Rice, Th' Legendary Shack Shakers, Interpol, Elton John, The Beatles, The Vandals......

If we are what we eat, I'm composed mostly of Spaghetti Ohs and flavor blasted Goldfish Crackers. Sad fact.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I have more than six vital organs so I'm not really sure how to answer this question.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Escape. Living like a gypsy in an old Winnebago. How much I would love to be friends with a goat. Lots of useless crap that is a waste of my brain meats.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Taking a long, long nap. Isn't that just going to bed? you must be wondering to yourself. No. Maybe. I suppose it could be construed as such.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There are a few U2 songs I actually like.

That is an embarrassing secret I've never told anyone.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
1. You have a fun and/or obscure fact to tell me. (Example: cats have free-floating clavicles so they can squeeze through anyplace they can fit their heads! This fact probably excludes obese cats, to be clear.)
2. You think I seem like a happening kinda chick.
3. You feel like it. I can't tell you your business.