STOP FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND! What the shit are you doing on OK Cupid? Trying to find someone interesting? Well fuck, look at this fucking guy!

He goes by "Anthony," and that's a sombitchin' name you can set your fucking watch by! The only shit people love more than this guy's fucking name is his personality. Get ready to laugh your ass off, because this fucking dude is funnier than a bus full of clowns rolling off a goddamn cliff!

Do you like people who are in shape? Shit yeah you do! This guy goes to the fucking gym. Deadlifts! Squats! Hardcore shit! He's not going to get fat like that shitty beer-guzzling bro you were scoping at the bar last weekend. Throw that shitty popped collar shit to the curb.

This motherfucker's got taste and talent. He's on the fucking radio, and that shit ain't easy! He's a bastard on the bass guitar, and buildings light on fire and shit when his band plays. What the fuck!? He'll also make the best fucking mixed CD you've ever heard if you ask him enough times!

You totally want to talk to this fucker, so just message him already. Shit!

What the fuck!?? A VIDEO??? What doesn't this guy fucking do?

One day, I hope to rule the following things:

1. Radio
2. Music
3. The Internet
4. Time

talking, lifting heavy things over and over, veganism, picking out music that doesn't suck, referencing monty python, eating falafel, sitting really still in a tattooing chair, bass guitaring, radioing, baking vegan cookies, questioning social standards, spinning records, making mixed cds

thick glasses, tall height, insane volume, crazy straight teeth, positive mental attitude, super awesome, hyper confidence, fucking sense of humor, open mind

MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC: beach house, neutral milk hotel, the stooges, the velvet underground, earth, squarepusher, explosions in the sky, godspeed you! black emperor, milt jackson, mos def, the cramps, girl talk, efterklang, grails, melvins, talking heads, mission of burma, king crimson, the kinks, frank zappa, tom waits, jay reatard, wire, the unicorns, my bloody valentine, the smiths, napalm death, they might be giants, the beatles, led zeppelin, black lips, the strokes, q and not u, pixies, of montreal, m. ward, no age, james brown, the mountain goats, lightning bolt, grizzly bear, dead kennedys, the buzzcocks, crass, animal collective, zombi, wolves in the throne room, beirut, the pains of being pure at heart, torche, mount eerie, yes, eric's trip, deerhoof, dr. dre, thelonious monk, bob dylan, fugazi, bad brains, johnny cash, john coltrane, eric b. & rakim, justice, the misfits, rahsaan roland kirk, matmos, minor threat, television, woody guthrie, sly & the family stone...there's too many to name, seriously.

MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Little Miss Sunshine, the Big Lebowski, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Akira, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, No Country For Old Men, There Will Be Blood, The Royal Tenenbaums, Monty Python's the Meaning of Life, Trainspotting, Full Metal Jacket, Waltz with Bashir

TV TV TV: MST3K, Sealab 2021, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job, CNN, Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law, Squidbillies, The Brak Show, Look Around You, Monty Python's Flying Circus

BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS: True Norwegian Black Metal, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Haunted, Push, On the Road, Practical Programming for Strength Training, The Religions of Man, Animal Farm, Modulations: A History of Electronic Music, tons of random disserations on music and sound experimentation

1. Music
2. Friends
3. Air
4. Heavy Weights
5. Peanut Butter
6. Clean Water

music, religion, the future, philosophy, weirdos, politics, art, the world, the state, social situations

on the radio, at a show, blasting tunes, going out, catching up with friends, kicking ass

I used to think Marilyn Manson was pretty awesome. Ah, youth.

...you can dig it.
...you know how to be straightforward, honest, and open. Those three things are free, but they're the hardest to come by.

YOU SHOULD NOT MESSAGE ME IF...

...you listen to "everything except rap & country."
...you're pretentious.
...you're dramatic. Save that for someone who will put up with it.
...you're shy or socially awkward. Really, it gets old fast.
...you play games. I've already got a Super Nintendo for that, please.
...you have no sense of humor.
...you're offended easily. Boooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiing.
...you describe yourself as "artsy." If you have to say it, you're probably not.
...you stalk my profile on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Lulz!