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27 F New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:36pm
Asian, White
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English, French (Poorly), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm kind of addicted to Tetris. I recognize that it's a problem. I make daily references to 30 Rock/Mean Girls/Clueless/Futurama and recycle jokes that I heard during stand-up specials. I dress like a librarian. I've always dreamed of being an art thief but have since realized that I have a paralyzing fear of authority. I sing along with the music that I'm listening to and generally think that I'm pretty good. "My lifestyle is simple: live easy and Bruce Willis." This Halloween I'm going to be a Pawnee Goddess. I'm a devoted practitioner of Liz-bean-ism. I've been told that I'm delightful. It's a goal of mine to die with all my body parts in tact. I want to be as Dennis Duffy once described Liz Lemon, "a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen." My real name is Dick Whitman. I make a killer cream puff. I cheat at crossword puzzles.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Born and bred in south-central Pennsylvania, educated in southern Virginia at a woman's college. Educated even more at a Columbia University affiliate and graduated recently with a silly degree in theology. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I'm currently the executive assistant to the director of a historic New York non-profit.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Procrastinating. Judging. Making excuses. Sleeping. Winning. Making burritos. Being charming. Filling out forms. Maneuvering around tourists. Being polite.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
How young I look. I swear, I get carded all the goddamn time. This is compounded by how short I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
//books: I have to admit that I feel like a pretentious asshole when I whip out a book on the subway.

I'm kind of in love with John Steinbeck and Ian Fleming. They're my go-to guys. I've only recently rediscovered fiction after being in academia for the past six years and am burning though books at a rate of one per week and a half.

//music: Childish Gambino. Kanye West. Marina & the Diamonds. LIGHTS. Vampire Weekend. Tegan and Sara. Patrick Wolf. Mika. Nicki Minaj. Hurts. 2NE1. Scissor Sisters. Robyn. Freelance Whales. Kylie Minogue. Darren Criss. Matt & Kim. Iggy Azalea. Adele. Robin Sparkles. Lorde. Haim. Musicals.

Also, I have terrible taste in music. I acknowledge that.

//foods: Pork buns. Beet pickled eggs. Vanilla pudding. Bagels with cream cheese and smoked salmon. Cheese. Samosas. Sandwiches. ("I believe that all anyone wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.") Split pea soup. Milksteak. Cheesy Blasters. (Picky eaters need not apply.)

//television: 30 Rock. Parks and Recreation. Mad Men. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. House. Adventure Time. Game of Thrones. Good Eats. House Hunters International. Skins. Doctor Who. GREEK. Top Gear. Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. Queer as Folk. Regular Show. Torchwood. Bomb Girls. Soap operas. Misfits. Downton Abbey. Luther. Sherlock. Are You Being Served? Keeping Up Appearances. The Great Escape. The Supersizers. How I Met Your Mother. Carl Sagan's Cosmos. Glee. Please Like Me. This Old House. Antiques Roadshow. Jeopardy!. Veep. NBC Nightly News. Futurama. Orange is the New Black. Masters of Sex. Broad City. The Mind of a Chef. Black Fraiser. Bitchhunter.

I also admit that I watch a lot of trashy TV. I'm not proud of that fact, but I'm not ashamed to say that I'll watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians/Here Comes Honey Boo Boo/Ghost Adventures (a show that I have nicknamed Ghost Bros: Bros in the Dark)/Intervention/Hoarders: Buried Alive. I have also been known to watch daytime soap operas. (Formerly As the World Turns, currently General Hospital.) It's cool if you judge me based on this confession, I judge me. (Look at your life, look at your choices.)

I will, without fail, watch a documentary about the Titanic, nature or outer space even if I've already seen it a half dozen times.

I'm an advanced TV watcher, so TV is a pretty big deal to me. We probably won't get along if you don't watch any TV.

//movies: Jurassic Park. A Blaffair to Rememblack. Who Dat Ninja?

I have to admit that I tend to gravitate towards documentaries when it comes to movies. And that I am terrible at seeing movies in the theater. I have a whole list of excuses as to why I don't go to the movies: it's expensive, I don't want to put on pants, what if I want to lie down, what if I want a meatloaf sandwich, etc.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
// My Macintosh.
// My iPhone. (Oh god, how did I ever live without you?)
// My college ring. (I feel naked without it.)
// An unlimited Metrocard.
// Pie. (Especially in peach or apple varieties.)
// My Moleskine planner.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
// What utter joy I get from jumping out from behind things and scaring people. It's a passion of mine.

// Where I can find a cheap, delicious burrito at two in the morning.

// When I'm going to get around to writing that paper about the religious symbology in Kanye West's music video for POWER.

// How to cite rap lyrics in an academic paper. See above.

// Okay, you know that little box on the right hand side of someone's profile that says, 'similar users,' and then it lists a bunch of people with characteristics like, 'more desiring of sex,' or 'less adventurous?' I spend a lot of time thinking about what it says under my username. I once saw that someone was 'thriftier' than the person who's profile I was currently on and I laughed and went CLICK.

// Why people use group photos as their profile pictures. Okay, I get that you have friends, but when you're with a group in your profile picture I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And then I hope that you're the hot one.

// Why so many people have professional looking head shots as their profile picture.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Spending some quality time with the internet/Netflix. Being dragged out by some friends to the local dive bar. Procrastinating. Having dinner in Hell's Kitchen. At an apartment party, watching friends play Settlers of Catan. At a gay bar in the West Village with former co-workers. Hanging out on the roof of my apartment building with some beers, friends, and good conversation.

I'm also super into cooking right now. I make a mean bread pudding but my scalloped potatoes still need some work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've had several inappropriate dreams about Jack McBrayer.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 23–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You use proper grammar and sentence structure, refrain from using internet lingo, and spell out the word 'you' in its entirety. Or if you're not a creeper.

You're the guy from PBS's Idea Channel. No, seriously. That guy can get it. If you're him, message me ASAP so we can nerd out.

You want to merc some brunch.

You have a beard and/or glasses. I'm kind of a sucker for that. Smart and short dudes, unpretentious intellectuals, Doctor Who fans, Westsiders/Upper Manhattanites, and snappy dressers need apply.