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lilakay

38 New York, NY Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 35–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Apr 1
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Thin
Diet
Strictly vegan
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Income
Status
Single
Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Polish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am awesome! Or I guess I can be every so often. Let's keep expectations reasonable. No, I actually am truly awesome. I am! You have no idea.

I'm luminous and phosphorescent. And there is no lie in my fire.

I'm in search of whimsy. If someone asks why I pin my hair up with a flower, or why I throw my stale bread at turtles, or why my headboard is lighted, I'll say it's because Art! And because Love! And I do love life recklessly and with hopeless abandon. (and flowers, turtles or other animals, and lights-- lots to love in this world)

And aren't those great reasons to do anything? for Art and for Love? Yes.

Okay, I actually throw stale bread to turtles, not at them. Prepositions were never a strong point for me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am.

I'm living life fearlessly, mostly. I am feeling the fear but not allowing it to stop me. And boy do I have places to get to!

I'm being awesome. I'm saving the world!! Maybe, even if only in my own mind. I would like a superhero cape to wear to work, but alas, that would clash with the rest of the outfit.

I'm being mindful and living with compassion. My art is loving and giving. I work with people in crisis and I love what I do. Some people are broken open. Others are just broken. But everyone needs kindness, forgiveness and respect. I always want to do the kind thing out of instinct. Sometimes, though, I need to do what's kindest towards myself. I forgive everyone everything.

I am a calming presence. There are few situations that can't be made better by mindfulness, listening intently, a soothing voice, neutral/uncharged language, and focus on the solution. I live this way. When my brother wants to bring up difficulties he's experiencing with our sister, I mockingly remind him, "I'm a calming presence, damnit!" :)

I am a middle child, peacemaker. And I was treated as if I were the oldest; I'm fiercely independent and an instinctive caretaker. But I'm making time to reclaim my youth. I'm stopping to take a turn on the swings and coloring outside of the margins.

I'm eating vegan-- it's compassion in my food choices. Good thing tequila and rum are vegan.

And I'm living my life half en Español. Voy a hablar contigo en cualquier lengua. Dime donde vas y si sabes tu destino.

I'm working downtown, mostly in Union Square, if I had to be pinned down. But I'm also all over. I could be anywhere, and I do mean anywhere. Work sometimes takes me all over. Life is good.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Kissing.
Baking.
Listening.
Misinterpreting cues.

The list could go on. True happiness is found in simple, seemingly unremarkable things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm completely Midwestern, born and raised in the City of Chicago. My accent gives me away when I speak. My manners give me away in my interaction. And my general agreeableness is inextractable. I am this.

I'm also told that I look young for my age -- which is meaningless to me. I'm owning all my years of experience up to this point.

An amazing woman will forever be an amazing woman. At age 80, I'm still going to be awesome.

I think NYC hardens some people, but I'm softening the city instead.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love British telly. Those shows are my guilty pleasures.

I currently have a playlist on the phone that's heavy with Radiohead and lilting pretty songs. But Thom York is brilliant. He's genius. You know who's also genius? Jack White, though his amazing songs aren't so lilting.

I enjoy books with emotional honesty. It kills me in exquisite ways. I've died many a lessor deaths, all still of great magnitude.

I've tried hard to not collect books. Moving in NYC has broken me of the urge to collect things. Gaiman, Vonnegut and even Bukowski have to be exceptions. Sometimes you need an actual book in your hands.

When I told someone of the post apocalyptic dystopias I had recently read at that time, the person asked me if I'm a teenage girl on the inside. Yes, yes I am.

I have just finished an Alain de Botton book and two spy thrillers (not my typical reading). But all three books were gifted to me spontaneously by three very different people and they were pleasures to read. Unsolicited books are a win! Even better than reading list recommendations! I do love de Botton. If the question asked my favorite art form, or my favorite philosopher, I would go on about things I love. But I digress. And that list is long.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Hope, love, an open heart, gratitude, courage and forgiveness.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I'm thinking awesome thoughts, of course!

I'm looking for the moon to my ocean tides. I think about the moon, the tides, the gravitational pull. I like to believe that when I'm thinking of someone he/she will think of me too, and sometimes we will glance upon the moon simultaneously. We all share the same moon.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
being awesome. But I'm usually awesome every night of the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If I ever meet the man of my dreams, I hope he doesn't know about my dreams.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Message me if I can divest you of stale bread.

Message me if you know magic tricks. I love magic, the real kind, the kind that gets you to flip your way of thinking about something that you thought you knew all along.

Message me if you have a box of kittens. Okay, well, that might narrow the field too much... But kittens and other tiny animals are always a joy. It's as if newly birthed creatures are still trailing behind them the magic they were just created from. The wonder of something so tiny and clumsy as they start to look at the world with their new eyes! I want to experience that vicariously, if not personally. I want to see anew too.

Message me if you have a cat and I can caress him/her. No seriously. I want to play with your cat! Or dog! I will walk your dog for hours. We'll come back and nap, me and your dog-- maybe you too. I miss having a mascot.

Don't get rid of your sexy stubble and tell me you shaved for me. There are few joys as glorious as kissing a somewhat bearded man. But don't look as if you belong to ZZ Top unless you are actually a member of the band. I've got legs and I know how to use them.

Contact me if you don't just snore, but you snore like an obese man who swallowed a lawnmower. But don't be obese.

I'm impressed by other things such as people with beautiful hearts, spontaneous and unexpected displays of humility, moments that require human interaction that would potentially happen if you weren't repeatedly lifting a piece of iron and setting it back down in some vain pursuit, etc. I prefer emotionally mature people capable of a range of emotions, complex thoughts, and superhero-like mental strength. I'm kidding. Or am I?

Message me if you're amazing. Or hot. Hot is nice. Amazing AND hot will be a little bit much. I wouldn't know how to handle myself. :) --this was a trick. Amazing IS ALWAYS HOT.

Write me if you're living your life authentically, you're unabashedly yourself and that person is kind. I'm serious about the kindness. You must have integrity. That's key! I just heard the term "rigorous honesty" and I love it. Btw, you can't be judgmental. Open minds and open hearts, please. Or you will miss happiness if you don't have your net open and cast wide.

Message me if you're leaving the world better off for having been in it because that makes you awesome! We could don our invisible superhero capes together. Knowing more awesome people is always a pleasure. Please allow me the gift your presence brings.

If you're in transition between homes, jobs or transitioning out of a relationship, figure all that out first, then let's meet. Please be truly single, not almost single or nearly single, or soon to be single or single in theory. If you're looking for mad love, I can't see that happening if you have other lovers. Or, you know, if the nonexclusivity is mutual, we can see if that works out. I'm happy to discuss. Let's be in agreement on this, lest expectations aren't met and feelings get hurt.

Don't be mediocre.

Be prepared for good things to happen.

OTHERWISE, the person you're pretending to be will have a bad time with the image of who you assume I am.

So now go ahead, send an invite for coffee, tea or cocktail. And don't be creepy; I am after all a human being. You can do it! Bring your A-game because I'm worth it.