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lilakay

38 F New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:22am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly vegan
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Polish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I am awesome! Or I guess I can be every so often. Let's keep expectations reasonable. No, I actually am truly awesome. I am! You have no idea.

I'm luminous and phosphorescent. And there is no lie in my fire.

The summer is beautiful and I'm ready for adventures.
What I’m doing with my life
I am.

I'm living life fearlessly.

I'm being awesome. I'm saving the world!! Maybe, even if only in my own mind.

I'm being mindful and living with compassion. My art is loving and giving. I work with people in crisis and I love what I do. Some people are broken open. Others are just broken. But everyone needs kindness, forgiveness and respect.

I am a calming presence. There are few situations that can't be made better by mindfulness, listening intently, a soothing voice, neutral/uncharged language, and focus on the solution. I live this way. When my brother wants to bring up difficulties he's experiencing with our sister, I mockingly remind him, "I'm a calming presence, damnit!" :)

I'm eating vegan-- it's compassion in my food choices. Good thing tequila and rum are vegan.

And I'm living my life half en Español. Voy a hablar contigo en cualquier lengua.

I'm working downtown, mostly in Union Square, if I had to be pinned down. But I'm also all over. I could be anywhere. Life is good.
I’m really good at
Kissing.
Baking.
Listening.
Misinterpreting cues.

The list could go on. True happiness is found in simple, seemingly unremarkable things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm completely Midwestern, born and raised in the City of Chicago. My accent gives me away when I speak. My manners give me away in my interaction. And my general agreeableness is inextractable. I am this.

I'm also told that I look young for my age -- which is meaningless to me. I'm owning all my years of experience up to this point.

An amazing woman will forever be an amazing woman. At age 80, I'm still going to be awesome.

I think NYC hardens some people, but I'm softening the city instead.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love British telly. Those shows are my guilty pleasures.

I currently have a playlist on the phone that's heavy with Radiohead and lilting pretty songs. But Thom York is brilliant. He's genius. You know who's also genius? Jack White, though his amazing songs aren't so lilting.

I enjoy Paolo Cuelho, Isabel Allende and Junot Diaz. (All Latinos, I just now realized. But I read faster in English.) There is an emotional honesty to their writing that kills me in exquisite ways. I've died many a lessor deaths, all still of great magnitude.

I think reading Vonnegut as a child changed me. It's as if he wrote exactly in the manner he would have spoken to me: directly, without warning moving on as if nothing happened, and then circling back to finish his thought. I have an old paperback version of Venus on the Half-shell which is one of my most treasured belongings. And so it goes.

I also turn fangirl for Neil Gaiman only because his Sandman series consumed me when I was a young adult --though, I will deny this in polite company. I've tried hard to not collect books. Moving in NYC has broken me of the urge to collect things. Gaiman, Vonnegut and even Bukowski have to be exceptions. Sometimes you need an actual book in your hands.

When I told someone of the post apocalyptic dystopias I recently read, the person asked me if I'm a teenage girl on the inside. Yes, yes I am.
The six things I could never do without
Hope, love, an open heart, gratitude, courage and forgiveness.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm thinking awesome thoughts, of course!

I'm looking for the moon to my ocean tides. I think about the moon, the tides, the gravitational pull. I like to believe that when I'm thinking of someone he/she will think of me too, and sometimes we will glance upon the moon simultaneously. We all share the same moon.
On a typical Friday night I am
being awesome. But I'm usually awesome every night of the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was thinking about where I'm going. And I still love exactly where I am. I don't want a partner in crime because, truth be told, I commit very few crimes. I'd rather spend time with someone who has a strong moral compass and no criminal impulses. I fancy myself as a superhero, or rather superheroine. It would be great to do good and to do it well along side someone else, if possible. Or to do what I do best and be with someone who is has my back. Short of that, I think that a relationship would be mediocre. And lots of things can be just okay, but love is never one of those things.

I'm not perfect, but I'm whole the way I am. And my trajectory is vast.
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 35–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Message me if you have a box of kittens. Okay, well, that might narrow the field too much.

Message me if you have a cat and I can caress him/her. No seriously. I want to play with your cat! Or dog! I will walk your dog for hours. We'll come back and nap, me and your dog-- maybe you too. If you live in Brooklyn and look like you could play in a civil war reenactment, bonus. Scratch all of that. Pet ownership, Brooklyn residence and facial hair are all negotiable.

Don't get rid of your sexy stubble and tell me you shaved for me. There are few joys as glorious as kissing a somewhat bearded man. If I wanted to kiss hairless face, I could kiss girls. But don't look as if you belong to ZZ Top unless you are actually a member of the band. I've got legs and I know how to use them.

Contact me if you don't just snore, but you snore like an obese man who swallowed a lawnmower. But don't be obese.

Drink or don't drink, but don't be alcoholic. I don't enjoy the company of people who are constantly high nor consistently inebriated.

Skip over this if you're orange, or if you're denying you're orange but you own lots of tanning cream. I've never found anyone Oompah Loompa colored to be attractive and the level of narcissism necessary to tint your skin with potentially cancer causing chemicals is outside of my scope of comprehension. You will do better with someone who appreciates your quest to color your flesh. Every bread has its cheese.

If you're most proud of how your chest, abs or other body parts look, you're not for me. We just won't connect. You'll eventually be annoyed that I don't fawn over your chest, abs, arms that you so religiously work at to look like inflated balloons under your skin. I'm sure you'd like some appreciation or acknowledgement for all your exertion and I really won't care. It's a bread/cheese thing again.

I'm impressed by other things such as people with beautiful hearts, spontaneous and unexpected displays of humility, moments that require human interaction that would potentially happen if you weren't repeatedly lifting a piece of iron and setting it back down in some vain pursuit, etc. I prefer emotionally mature people capable of a range of emotions, complex thoughts, and superhero-like mental strength. I'm kidding. Or am I?

Message me if you're amazing. Or hot. Hot is nice. Amazing AND hot will be a little bit much. I wouldn't know how to handle myself. :) --this was a trick. Amazing IS ALWAYS HOT. Keeping up appearances is a lot like wearing self tanner or inflating your muscles like balloons.

Write me if you're living your life authentically, you're unabashedly yourself and that person is kind. I'm serious about the kindness. There is nothing kind that ever followed a racial or ethnic slur. You can't be kind while you're judging people.

Message me if you're leaving the world better off for having been in it because that makes you awesome! I will love and admire you and treasure a friendship even if there is no romantic connection.

If you're in transition between homes, jobs or transitioning out of a relationship, figure all that out first, then let's meet.

Don't be mediocre.

Be prepared for good things to happen.

OTHERWISE, the person you're pretending to be will have a bad time with the image of who you assume I am.

If you've made it this far, ask me out for a cup of coffee. Or if you glanced the pictures and felt like it, send me an invitation for some tea. If you mildly enjoyed reading the above, you might enjoy my company over margaritas (or a caipirinha, or something quite like it). If your cousin's wedding is coming up and you need an emergency pretend wife, know that I clean up well. Send a message. And don't be creepy; I am after all a human being. You can do it! Bring your A-game because I'm worth it.