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44 F Oakland, CA

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 35–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:52am
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Buddhism, but not too serious about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from Ph.D program
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Swedish (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I’m America’s third most popular Swedish wineglass organ playing Jubu. Equally comfortable wearing a tux as wielding power tools to build an art car. The NY Jew in me makes me ready for intellectual sparring and gives me a bit of edge, the Buddhist in me helps me stay in the NOW and calm down my reaction time, the Swede in me gets me into the garden, off on long hikes in the woods, camping, visits to hot springs, the atheist in me keeps me rational. My soul is in nature, but my mind loves urban culture (and sub-culture). My world revolves around music – all kinds of music. I sing and teach in various styles, conduct classical choirs (thus the tux), yes – play a wineglass organ I made, and so on. I also love playing folk songs on guitar and making up goofy songs with friends around camp fires or wherever spontaneity strikes. I’m independent, compassionate, and passionate. I often have several irons in the fire, but I always make time for my sweetie, as well as time for a good book, a good movie, a good meal.

I'm dedicated to staying fit - I run, swim, hike, do yoga - something every day. I've recently acquired some good backpacking gear, which needs to be put to some good use. I also own a motorcycle helmet that would be fun to strap on again for the right cause.

I love to camp, hike, explore the varied wonders this state has to offer. I'm looking for a sweetie who also revels in nature, evenings around a campfire, nights snuggling in a tent or under the stars. A cozy cabin is good too...

I'm a bit of an aesthetic - antiques, wood, black iron, fresh flowers, paintings by friends and family. Lots of instruments of various types in my house, some you've probably never seen before. Wish I could actually play them all.

I teach music in higher education. It's a pretty sweet way to spend my days - making and teaching music. I don't expect my partner to be musically educated - I've actually never had a serious relationship with another musician. My personal music tastes run pretty broad... see below.

I love catering to my peeps, but at the same time I have never put off my own adventures while waiting for someone to join me – I’ve traveled the globe solo and would be happy to go out there again but I think it would be so much more fun to face the world’s treasures, both far away and here at home, with my partner in crime. While I circulate in an artsy/warehouse community, I have traditional dreams for my personal life.

I look for kindness, honesty, faithfulness, good communication, presence in a partner, and I will return it in spades. I often find myself attracted to genuine, quirky people that fall outside the mold. I like a bit of DIY skill in my partner. Common interests and passions are important, but I don't need or want to have all the same ideas about our world - that would be boring and would leave little room for growth. I'm not looking for an immediate commitment or exclusivity, but I have no desire for a poly-whatever relationship. I'm always looking to grow and learn and to understand myself better and I think the world is full of archetypes that we can learn from, and I do consider myself a spiritual person and I have a dedicated meditation practice, but I'm quite cynical when it comes to either New Age philosophy or most deistic or pagan belief systems (although I'm not cold to some questions about the nature of this existence... there's some nuance here). I'm not here for just sex, I'm not here to date someone 20 years younger or older, I'm not here for someone who is in a totally different place in life. I'm here to eventually not be here anymore.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Seeking balance - life is complicated and filled with contradictions, trying to find my truth in all of that noise. Making music in a number of capacities - traditional and non. Making a documentary film about Izzy Young, the Greenwich Village folk music promoter, and it's getting me really into those early blues, folk musicians like Rev Gary Davis, etc. Gardening, growing food, canning and drying it in the summer for later winter eating.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being romantic and passionate. Cuddling with my cat, Lavender and my dog, Laila. Cuddling in general. Singing really high. Bearing my soul. Listening. Massaging. Following through on ideas and projects. Honesty. Making gravlax. Dancing to 70s funk (and hopefully lindy again... I'd love to get back to that). Throwing dinner parties.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I’m petite enough to pick up when hugged. My eyes are two colors. People tend to think I'm about 10 years younger than I am. I have been called feisty and even intense, but I'm actually more of an introvert even though I can put on the extrovert hat when called to.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I love wordsmiths! Rushdie, Michael Chabon, Virginia Woolf, Annie Proulx, Confederacy of Dunces, Nabakov's Pnin, Tove Jansson (mummi troll books - anyone know those?). I've been taking a break from serious lit and reading the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo books in Swedish. It's fun to practice my Swedish skills.
Music: Joni Mitchell, Britten, Weill, Bach, Sigur Ros, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Bartók, Reich, Two Foot Yard, Radiohead, Schubert, Mozart, Prokofiev, Beatles, Harry Nilsson, Cocteau Twins, Squeeze, XTC, the Jam, Elvis Costello, David Bowie, Rufus Wainwright, Richard Thompson, Swedish folk music... on and on and on... I love the music my friends make - singer/songwriter, rock, avant garde, classical.
Theater: Angels in America and all things Kushner, Becket, Shakespeare; I really love theater and would like to go to more.
Dance: To do: Lindy, I grew up doing Swedish folk dance, that was fun; To see: Modern of lots of types
Movies: M, Fanny och Alexander, Synecdoche New York, Life Aquatic (and anything by Wes Anderson - I loved Moonrise Kingdom. Best soundtrack ever), Charade, Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead
TV: The Prisoner, The Wire, Brideshead Revisited
Food: Tapas, Japanese, Middle Eastern, homemade delights, seafood, etc, etc. Not much of a meat eater, but not a vegetarian either. I like to cook and can food grown in my garden.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Soft things (pets, blankets)
Friends that remind me what matters and still love me after all these years (and it's mutual, of course)
Music that transports me, both to listen to and to make
Nature (preferably out of reach of civilization) and getting dirty in the garden
Culture – theater, music, literature – things that make me think, feel, and go deeper
And a 7th... Honesty
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Being better to the planet and myself and creating balance in life.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Listening to or making music... I love going to cafes for live music. Making dinner with friends. Checking out a film. Or cuddling with my girls (cat and dog) on the sofa reading or watching a film or series on Netflix (haven't owned an actual TV in many years).
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
It's nice when we sync in our ideas about the world... politics, culture, lifestyle. But some of my most fulfilling relationships have broken some of those molds, so I'm more open to difference than I once was. I think that's what's key is a shared energy and attraction and that all-too-elusive thing, connection. Plus an ample dose of kindness. Even though my ultimate goal is to find the "long term commitment," I know that doesn't happen automatically. No long-term poly people, though, please.

I know I'm a bit verbose here, but there's something you resonate with, drop a line!