Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Lily B, 29, single, white, female, living in New York.
I know that many of you are reading this and are surprised that I
would post this on a dating site but I feel that this is the best
way to get my thoughts viewed by both men and women, poor or rich
to discuss the inside truth of society. I want men to understand
the demanding expectations society puts on women. I want to help
women realize they are not alone in this callous society and advise
them about their choices.
“If I were shabby no one would have me: A woman is asked out as
much for her clothes as for herself. The clothes are the
background, the frame, if you like: they don’t make success, but
they are apart of it. We are expected to be pretty and well dressed
till we drop- and if we can’t keep it up alone, we have to go into
partnership (p. 12).” Society expects you to make yourself
presentable for a male. The better dressed you are, the better off
you are to find a wealthy man. If you can no longer keep up with
dressing to impress, society suggests it is time to go into a
partnership so that he can keep you looking fabulous while also
making him look good by being his arm candy. However, be cautious
of men who may mistake you for an object rather than a decoration.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Sometimes I ask myself, “Isn’t marriage your vocation? Isn’t it
what you’re all brought up for (p.9).” In this society it is
presumed that every woman’s goal is to get married. Working towards
this goal is what single women revolve their days around. Your
economic class will play a role in who you marry and what class you
will marry into. If you expect to marry into money you should be
spending time to better your appearance, poise, elegance, social
calendar, and connections. Be careful you don't miss the
opportunity when it comes along, “I threw away one or two good
chances when I first came out- I suppose every girl does; and you
know I am horribly poor- and very expensive. I must have a great
deal of money (p. 10).” Us women face the dilemma of choosing
between morality and money. Rarely do you fall in love with someone
with money. It is important to recognize what is more important to
you. Is it worth the risk of having a lot of money and being
unhappy? There are two ways you can go in this society: amoral and
wealthy or self-righteous and poor. Sometimes money can end up
causing more problems; all it takes is one mishap to send you back
down the social ladder.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Beauty. Being stunningly beautiful may help you to charm and
manipulate men but it is not always a good thing, you are also
putting yourself at risk for being treated like property. “Lily
understood that beauty is only the raw material of conquest, and
that to convert it into success other arts are required. She knew
that to betray any sense of superiority was a subtler form of the
stupidity her mother denounced, and it did not take her long to
learn that a beauty needs more tact than the possessor of an
average set of features (p. 34).” We have been raised by our
mothers, who were influenced by society, to be ornamental and
inevitably we have no marketable skills. Beauty can only get us so
far; we need to find skills and hobbies that complement our beauty.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
We are expected to uphold a reputation in society, it is greatly
frowned upon us if we work, borrow money from married men, have our
own home, or gamble. I often think of what it would be like to not
have to strive to become apart of wealthy society, “the people who
take society as an escape from work are putting it to its proper
use; but when it becomes the thing worked for it distorts all the
relations of life (p. 69).” When you work so hard to be something
you’re not you, lose sight of everything that you stand for. Since
we cannot change society, it is important to stand by what you
believe and be true to your feelings. It is hard to climb your way
from the bottom to the top of the social elite. You can be accepted
into society just as quickly as you can be rejected.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Not everyone can be trusted. “What is truth? Where a woman is
concerned, it’s the story that’s easiest to believe. In this case
it’s a great deal easier to believe Bertha Dorset’s story than
mine, because she has a big house and an opera-box, and it’s
convenient to be on good terms with her (p. 221).” Money is a power
game. People believe people who have a lot of money whether it is
the truth or not. If you don’t have money you are less likely to be
believed. Basically, society suggests that if you are wealthy, you
are allowed to be immoral because in the end people will still
believe you. And if people still don’t believe you, you are
financially stable enough to buy back your reputation. Make sure
you get all the facts before deciding to believe what someone tells
you and beware that people may not believe the things that you say.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.