I'm as genuine as they come. I'm a volunteer advocate/daughter/aunt/sister-in-law/niece/grand-daughter/cousin/neighbor/friend/good samaritan, more liberal than conservative (but not a die hard feminist), a complex being, quite perceptive, open-minded, insightful, instinctual, intuitive & nonjudgmental, a playful/free spirit, with an active imagination. Often inclined to see the shades of gray. Understanding the full scope of situations comes easily to me. At times full of wisdom. At times a child at heart.
One of my closest girlfriends recently told me, "You have that old soul that is all knowing. You are soooo nurturing. There's just something about you that is calming, and so intuitive. And you have this motherly feel and then can turn around and be so young and best friendish. I'm so lucky to have such incredibly strong, smart, generous, and unique women as friends, and you are definitely one of those women". To which I responded, "like attracts like".
One of my closest guy friends had this to say about me:
"She’s such a good friend, she’s going to do what she wants to do and who she wants to do, she’s like a man in many ways, but very nurturing and supportive, like a woman, and definitely built like a woman :) she’s a strong willed person and she marches to the beat of her own drum".
My biggest motivators in life: happiness, pleasure, connection, gratitude, kindness, peace, knowledge, inspiration, justice, contribution and love.
I'm all about double entendres/punny plays on words and constant suggestive connotations. Born with an incessant curiosity, I do believe I live for the pursuit of knowledge, and pleasures of all kinds. I am a living, breathing, walking, talking dichotomy. In order to love and understand me, one must fully accept and embrace my dichotomous nature. I could just as easily be sipping vodka tonics in a local dive bar as sipping on Zen tea at a Buddhist temple. I'm calm and intense, patient and impatient, laid back and aggressive, a leader and a follower, gregarious and reserved. I can be spontaneous and whimsical, and yet quite the detail oriented planner. I'm both spiritual and rather sensual and sexual (although those are not necessarily opposites). Born at the corners of Naughty and Sweet, Selfish and Giving, Girlish and Womanly, Vain and Humble, Silly and Serious, Sensitive and Callous, Sinful and Saintly (you catch my drift). Relationships are an integral part of my life and my being, and I absolutely love being in love! I enjoy literature, laughter, healthfulness, optimizing wellness via nutrition, physical movement (i don't prefer to call it exercise or working out), spiritually balancing activities, candid photography, people-watching, browsing through bookstores, being intoxicated by film, live music and theater (not all at once), captivating conversation, complimenting my lover, and sleep, precious sleep on my luxurious Egyptian cotton sheets. I'm on a never-ending quest for knowledge (and the world's finest chocolates and linens). I enjoy travelling near & far, multicultural arts & life science exhibits and offering inspiration/counsel to those who seek it. I wish to meet people from all walks of life. It's all about diversity! I find myself attracted to those who exude positivity, and repulsed by negativity, overbearing arrogance, ignorance and superficial, materialistic, plastic types. Know-it-alls are a bit of a bore. I steer clear of religious fanatics, fundamentalists and extremists (i.e. teabaggers).
Far more appealing are the perpetual students of life, those humble few on a never ending quest for knowledge and understanding. It is a beautiful blend of wisdom & compassion which creates the ultimate state of grace in a person (and that happens to be an enormous turn-on!). I find eloquence and the ability to impact audiences through public speech to be truly divine gifts.
For those of you who're into personality typing as much I am:
I'm an eNFP, a Scanner, a Leo sun/Scorpio moon/Gemini rising, SIA (Social-Investigative-Artistic), an "8", a Chinese Water Rat, a Fish/Salmon (based on the Celtic Zodiac), a Salmon (based on the Native American Animal calendar), a 9 of Clubs, an HSP (Highly Sensitive Personality), the Baby (in birth order), a B+ Blood type, in the Enneagram world - a combo of Types 2 (Helper), 4 (Individualist), 5 (Investigator), 6 (Loyalist) and 9 (Peacemaker) - an interpersonal/intrapersonal/literary learner, not quite Type A, B, C or D, a Kapha-Vata blend with very little Pitta, Right brain dominant, an Empath, more entrepreneurial than technical or managerial.
A FEW FUN FACTS ABOUT ME
~my signature scent is Allure parfum by Chanel...described by its creators as 'Clean and sheer, warm and sexy. Difficult to define. Impossible to resist.'.....much like its most loyal and faithful client - me!
~i'm addicted to the lingo associated with singing, dancing, fashion design, interior design, colors, health and wellness, love and romance, relationships, psychology, neurosciences, sociology, music and writing
~i'm obsessed with personality typing of all kinds (especially Enneagram, Myer-Briggs and Ayurvedic Doshic types)
~i write things on my list just so i can cross them off
~to cuddle is divine
~i love binge watching tv shows
~i fall in love with people's passion...the ways their eyes light up when they talk about the thing they love, and the way they become filled with light
~i like to think of myself as a spiritual thinker
~i could feel energies from as far back as i could remember
~my father once introduced me, to an aunty who popped in for a visit, as "our Dravpadi" (Dravpadi is a respected female figure in ancient Hindu scriptures, known for having 5 husbands at one time, all brothers)...the look on the aunty's face was worth the embarrassment...shocked and mortified pretty much covers it...i've always been the lovable and likable one in my conservative indian community...so people don't expect me to have such an unconventional streak
~i'm a sucker for a great love story
~i'm a sucker for a happy ending ;)
~i have international beginnings (from Zambia to London to L.A.)
~i am deeply inspired by and instaneously drawn to humanitarian-sapiosexual-social entrepreneurs with an edge and a highbrow sense of humor
~i think do gooders are really good :)
~i can read between the lines (it's a gift)...understanding subtext is my forte
~i have a soft spot for big brawny men
~salsa is my comfort food
~i enjoy talking to strangers
~i want to be massaged in every land :)
~i love jelly tots mmmmmmmm
~flash mobs are like a dream to me!...never been in one yet, but i could see myself coordinating one...i think they should be an unexpectedly expected part of life (dancing, instrumental and singing ones too)
~I'm often told I am an Italian at heart..that i'd fit right into Italian culture and lifestyle...as if it were designed for me...
after reading this article, i get it now :)
~i'm drawn to spanish villas and storybook castles
~i love watching youtube sensations featured on the ellen degeneres show
~when it comes to shoes, sofas/chairs and sheets...the higher the quality the better...because i'm either up on my feet, sitting on my butt or lying down in bed...might as well enjoy every step, every sit and every sleep :)
~i feel as if i'm finally about to tap into my 'orenda' (a supernatural force believed by the Iroquois Indians to be present, in varying degrees, in all objects or persons, and to be the spiritual force by which human accomplishment is attained or accounted for)
~recently had my first debilitating musculo-skeletal injury - a combo bone fracture and ruptured ligament of the ankle (avulsion fracture as they call it) in the summer of 2013...life hasn't been quite the same ever since...managed to make it through four decades of living before suffering this sort of thing....hard fall, loud snap, immediate swell, hard cast, crutches, a variety of braces, much hobbling and hours of painful physical therapy...a challenge to say the least...life was happening in super slow-mo that year...this experience certainly grounded me...
~i have a knack of telling long stories with about 10 other stories in between
~one of the things men love most about me...i meet you where you're at...no judgments
~i've been told i'm a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets
~i'm a proud member of the 3% of this country's vegetarian population
~raspy voices are sexy sexy
~if real women have curves, then I'm a real woman
~i'm addicted to internet personality quizzes :)
~if you're cheating on your partner, and you need to clear your conscience, i'm here to lend a friendly ear...that being said, i refuse to partake in any cover-ups, to be an 'alibi' or be involved in the web of lies one must tell in order to be unfaithful and consciously deceive their mate...not my story to tell...and if you choose to have an affair, especially an ongoing affair with someone totally off limits, be careful whose lives you put at risk, simply by sharing the details of your illicitness...sometimes confidantes become scapegoats for scorned lovers...and anger gets misdirected..."Snapped" isn't a make-believe show...crimes of passion are more common, (and often more heinous) than we might think
~i've been told that including me into a discussion often adds texture to it
~i used to draw blood (but no longer)
~i hate missing the beginnings of films and i love watching my favorite movies again and again and again
~i've had the blessing of visiting tens of countries in real life, and hundreds of countries in my imagination, through the wonderful gift of literature :)
~i take joy in life's simple pleasures
~i consider myself a student of all faiths
~movie soundtracks are my thing
~i'm often told i remind people of the famous Mindy Kaling's character Mindy Lahiri, on "The Mindy Project" (Mindy is warm, friendly, confident, bubbly, and vivacious. She is a romantic at heart with a great sense of humor. She is also very feminine, with a love for fashion, decor, celebrities, and romantic comedies. People in general fascinate her; she enjoys connecting with people on a personal level and is quite extroverted. Although she is always frank and occasionally blunt, she usually means well, and her engaging demeanor usually allows others to forgive her any faux pas. Her mind is very analytical, and she uses it to critique everything from work to relationships to food. However, she tempers her critical qualities with warm friendliness, making her very personable. She is also unbelieveably shallow, with an unhealthy preoccupation with the activities of celebrities.
Her greatest desire is to fall madly in love, get married, and have children. She has a deep, abiding respect for the family unit and really wants to have one of her own)...besides the celebrity addiction aspect, freakishly so, that is me to a tee!
~visiting a new land is so much more meaningful to me if i incorporate a book, film and music about that land, its history and culture, into my travel experience....if i'm able to connect with the locals, to learn about the healing modes and methods indigenous to that place...and do some form of humanitarian work during my trip
~i often find myself prone to reflection
~entertaiment is a leo's forte...i love to entertain and be entertained (especially when there's a theme that intrigues me)...and i've thrown more than a few memorable events
~i use body mists and pillow mists in place of traditional air fresheners (pink butter cream frosting body mist by jaqua, and lavender mist by sonoma are two of my favorites)
~thanks to neural associations...every time i sip ginger ale on land, i get the sensation of being in the air....i instantaneously hear that background sound, heard only whilst traveling on a plane...and i suddenly become bombarded with that classic stuffy in-flight scent...it's strange...and yet it makes perfect sense
~being forced to sit and listen to people singing off key/off pitch is one of my biggest pet peeves...drives me nuts!
~i admit it, i enjoy being pampered and spoiled a bit
~i was one of those strange kids that loved, loved, loved the academic part of school (and socialiazing of course)...athletics, not so much
~i'm told i am quite animated (some have said i have a sing songy voice, others have called it sultry)
)~i feel at home anytime i walk on school grounds (especially private ones), visit a hospital, day spa or a jewelry store
~secretly long for a boxed set of the famous Little Miss and Little Mr. childrens' books
~i vow to wade in each of these magical pools...well all except The Standard pool in downtown LA...still not sure how that one made it to the list. In my opinion, it's good by not great.
~i dream of owning a snuggery, and a kicha processing plant that brings a staple of my people, to people around the globe
~i need lots of affirmations, but i give as good as i get :)
~i fancy myself a bit of an amateur psychoneuroimmunologist
~i've never been married, nor do i have any children of my own (though i've been a mother figure to quite a few)
~i love babies, but I'd never bring one to a cinema
~i'm a huge fan of facial skincare masks, especially those that can easily be whipped up in the comfort of one's kitchen...who needs expensive products when you have mother's nature's pharmacy at your fingertips
~where do i want to go that i've never been before?...turkey, austria, switzerland, mauritus, galapagos, the bahamas, new zealand, austrialia, vancouver, hong kong, costa rica, brazil, argentina, portugal, spain, and italy (for starters)
~i'd stop and admire a sexy male flex-ibitionist any day :) (if you're familiar with the infamous Muscle Beach, that reference will make perfect sense)
~i have yet to see a single interview (or hear of a single one-on-one encounter) with this man, that's been anything other than positive...love his spirit (among other parts of his)...i adore his multidimensional nature...besides being built like a god, he emanates a warmth that's undeniable...he's an eloquent, multitalented, mighty yet humble, ridiculously famous yet down to earth, loving, sweet, grateful, socially conscious, family oriented, chivalrous, compassionate, charming, funny, and genuine creature...a gentle yet fierce man...just a big teddy bear...and he's a hugger (like me)...my definition of a real man...if i had to be stuck on a deserted island or trapped in a jungle, for a day, a month, even a year, with someone famous - it would be him (hands down)...my love for Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson is all encompassing (and one day we shall meet...i'm sure of it!)
~i love the sharp kick of wasabi!...and wasabi coated peas offer the perfect crunch!
~let's take a vegetarian culinary tour of a town together, shall we?
~i've been told i light up every room i walk into
~i've grown up in an Indian family where we were always encouraged to eat home cookin' - i've feasted on our traditional dishes, rich in cultural history, passed down from generation to generation - which is in fact a beautiful thing
~my parents have taught by example...from them i learn about the importance of doing, keeping promises, sacrificing for the family, anticipating the needs of our loved ones and fulfilling them in advance - before being asked, protecting the family first and foremost, unspoken love, the value of hard work, entrepreneurship, practicality, being a bit of a hard ass when the time calls for it, being sweet and gentle at others, connectedness of all souls, truth, justice, reliability, spirituality, tough love, hospitality to all guests - invited and unexpected, selflessness, service to our communities, never turning up empty handed, counting our blessings, generosity, prana, meditation, showing up, stepping up, extending a helping hand, walking in the face of fear, random acts of kindness, dedication to humanitarian efforts and true devotion to loved ones
~a few of my true friends just happen to be relatives...which is a doubly delightful thing
~there's a social entrepreneur trapped within me
~i like my men the way i like my chai...very spicy, a little sweet and extremely hot!
~i'd rather eat and drink out of big mugs rather than bowls (there's just a cozier feel to it)
~i flip through magazines from back to front
~i have catlike reflexes
~my goal is to create an ultra sexy, petite, shapely, curvy, voluptuous, bootylicious size 6/8 physique (currently, it's a sexy, yet rather unshapely size 12/14 'situation')
~my ridiculously powerful gut instincts have kept me out of harm's way on more than a few occasions
~i feel a strong kinship to one george clooney...i'm the not-so-famous female version of him...like me, not only is he devoted to doing good work in support of some rather admirable causes...he's about my age...he's timelessly sexy...he's been surrounded by the love and attention of the opposite sex for a great deal of his life, and will have an endless flow of admirers to his very end...he's never been married, but openly been involved in a few long term relationships...and has chosen a life partner unconventionally late in life...he loves his life and he loves the women he dates, and he's clearly not the stereotypical marrying type....
~ever listened to the sound of tree rings translated into piano music, that are played like records on a turntable?...you should!
~i think do-gooders are sexy
~i was so happy when i heard about We Day...who knew?
~one day, i want to be invited to the Nautral Products Expo - for what reason, i don't yet know
~one of the institutions of higher academia which i attended, made it to the list of 25 Most Beautiful Colleges in California
~i'm often more intrigued/entertained by comment threads, than i am by the online articles and FB posts that solicited the commentaries (a perfect forum for the witty)
~British English is the first form of English i ever learned, hence my tendency to say things like biscuits (instead of cookies), chips (instead of fries) and my inclination to spell 'color' as 'colour'
~'stream of consciousness' defines me
~i love love love frommer's, zagat and yelp :)
~i've always been obsessed with the medical and spiritual processes involved in transitioning to the 'other side'
~i love the feeling of knowing that you knew someone...when you meet a stranger and share that instantaneous, inexplicable connection, a feeling of familiarity so deep, knowing without a doubt that you'll know one another for the rest of your years,that you knew each other before, and you'll know each other in the beyond
~i'm predictably unpredictable
~i always manage to drop a few crumbs on myself
~i despise the sound of styrofoam squeaking and the feeling of pure cotton (as in the white fluffy kind in it's pure form, not the form it takes as clothing)...gritting my teeth while i type these words...just the thought of it grates on my every nerve...much like the sound of nails scratching against a chalkboard would do
~while i love the smell of crayolas and the sweet scent of a primo pipe, i am averse to the following scents: eggs, tuna/fish and cigarette smoke
~my parents are still married (52 years and counting), and they are ridiculously robust for their age (if I'm able to accomplish a tenth of the good work they've done in their life, I'd be quite content with myself)
~i'm a strange daughter for Hindu parents, even if they are fairly progressive :)
~i believe that life speaks to you in whispers (and sometimes the whispers are so loud they seem more like screams)...it's that inner voice that guides and directs you...and protects you...so it's important to take heed
~i actually enjoy washing dishes (it can be both relaxing and meditative)
~i created the most coveted list of baby names on earth...which i'm happy to share with anyone who asks
(more than a few babies have been named off of this list, which i've been compiling for over two decades now...when i come across a name that sounds good to me, it gets added to the collection)
~sometimes i like to dress comfy and cozy, other times, flattering and fashionable
~i prefer the company of circles, hexagons and even squiqqles, over a square...anyday!
~my profile is simply a work in progress...just as i am
it's a fun way for me to get to know the person i'm dating (and myself) better...i don't see it as a means to an end, like most people on here do...it's just a story of me
~i'm not looking to date right now..but i'm always open to friendships with new and interesting people, who make life richer in the living of it
~i have, what some might call, a rather bizarre test of manhood: plucking a hair or two from my lover's leg....if he winces like a baby, i'm likely to hit the road (running, not walking)
~let's go to the horizon together, shall we? http://www.horizon-yogahotel.com/restaurant.php
~i stop for street performers...they deserve just as much respect as their well known counterparts, and oftentimes moreso
~i'm a HUGE film/TV buff...and i can't watch a film/TV without jotting down my favorite lines (same goes with literature)
~i'd like to be involved in the creation of a film one day (bringing the inspiration, script, selecting the perfect musical score and cast, not so much the techinical aspects of filmmaking)
~each and every member of my circle of friends (related or otherwise) are spectacular human beings, in their own unique ways...i am blessed to have them in my life...i not only love them deeply, but i genuinely like them too
~time permitting, i'd happily watch one film a day, every day, for the rest of this life
~i find meaning in my life through the people in it
~my theme songs/dedications: Brick House (The Commodores), Hechicera (Mana), Happy (Pharrel Williams), Naughty Girl, She's a Bad Mama Jama, Just the Way You Are (Billy Joel's version and Bruno Mars' version), Just Do It, A Thousand Kisses Deep, 2 Wicky, Brown Eyed Girl, Sexual Healing, Lady in Red, The Game of Love, Smooth, Stranger in My Skin, Sweet Thing, Justify My Love, One Love, Peel Me a Grape, Touch my Body, Your Body is a Wonderland, Smile, Let it Flow, Fever, Pretty Girl, Desire, I Can Make You a Man, Tightrope (Janelle Monae), When Soul Meets Body, Lose Yourself, Giving Him Something He Can Feel, Lazy Song, Forever Young, Principles of Lust, So Alive, Smooth Operator, Free Bird, I Need Love, Loungin', Beneath Your Beautiful, Superstition, Somebody That I Used to Know, Teenager in Love, Always Something There to Remind Me, Wicked Game, Everyday is Like Sunday, Toucha Touch Me, Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend and more
~favorite line from Two and a Half Men:
"You don't need AAA when you have double D's."
(so true!..and the more voluptuous, the truer it is ..just sayin')
~the story of my life...46 busty girl problems you'd understand only if you're busty
~i'm a collector of people
~i like to play with words in creative ways
~the ONLY reasons i'd ever be drawn to xbox 360 kinnect- dance, yoga, tennis and bowling :)
~i've always wanted to try tandem biking with a lover (he'd be the navigator since i'm not much of a cyclist)
~i have a dream of camping with a lover, at san onofre beach, or under a sea of stars at joshua tree...in a cozy, clear top tent, snuggled up in a plush sleeping bag for two, with select songs playing in the background...laughing, talking, teasing each other....making love to the sweet sounds of nature (and this coming from someone whose idea of camping involves a spa, go figure) :)
~i'm told i have an eye for a good looking man with a great sense of humor and the kind of character most women dream about
~i believe my psychic abilities stem from my paternal grandparents, and i've always been drawn to the paranormal/metaphysical
~i’m no stranger to enjoying the pleasures of solitude and pleasures of the flesh
~i've connected with souls in the spiritual realm, time and time again (and it's never been frightening, on the contrary, it seems absolutely comfortable, totally normal and completely natural)
~i love to hear well written, well delivered, powerful and poignant speeches (be it at funerals, graduations, weddings, scholarly panels, conferences, or pretty much any event)
~not really into fantasy films....never have been...perhaps it's because i prefer the fantasy that my imagination creates every time i read a fictional book..or perhaps it's because i'm so satiated by the creations of my own dream world each and every night...ever since i can remember, my dreams have been full of fantasy, wonder, brilliant colors, and the most amazing plots that often keep me from getting up...or perhaps it's that i live and think rather unconventionally...we all get our fill of fantasy, one way or another
~one of the strangest things that ever happened to me...back in 2009, a local area lady, around my age (who had the same first name as me), was killed in a tragic car accident...the next few days i was flooded with calls from people in my circles (locally, from across the nation and around the world), who thought it might be me who passed, and wanted to make sure i was still alive...i received enough calls from concerned folks who thought i was dead, that it actually got a bit eerie...another example of how fast new travels, especially in the desi community
~what is my 'spiritual power'? (based on an online quiz)... LOVE (apparently, i am a true lover and an ambassador of love...my spirit and persona can allure and absorb anyone...i am so real and raw that my imperfections make me even more lovable)
~do you know your 'love language'? (how you express your love and how you want to be loved in return)? i took a short test based on Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages (a wonderful read for just about anyone who loves)...my results were no surprise
11 Physical Touch
9 Words of Affirmation
6 Quality Time
2 Acts of Service
2 Receiving Gifts
i crave a man who shares my primary love languages
here's the link if you're interested in knowing what your love language(s) are...
a few of the many nonprofits i support:
Divine Art of Yoga Center
The Family Violence and Sexual Assault Institute
i'm an HSP
in case you're wondering what that means...read on
23 Signs That You’re A Highly Sensitive Person
Sensitive male role models were hard to find growing up in the seventies in a middle-class Boston suburb. So for most of my life I considered myself a fairly thick-skinned, typical guy. “Sensitivity” was not a trait encouraged in men. Stability, strength and steadfastness were more like it. All good traits, but often it seemed like an either or equation rather than a both and.
So I followed in the footsteps of the male role models I had; mostly stoic, emotionally unavailable, intellectually focused men.
That worked for a while but at some point during the past 18 or so years that I have been actively and sometimes intensively engaged in personal growth, I have discovered that behind the walls and under the layers of distance and detachment lives a highly sensitive person.
This awakening sensitivity has, sometimes, felt more like a burden than a blessing. But ultimately, and only quite recently, I have come to accept my sensitivity as a gift and a powerful ally on my journey of personal evolution.
When I began this journey, the term Highly Sensitive Person was not widely known (if at all). But as more has been written about Highly Sensitive People and the concept has gained wider (though certainly not universal) acceptance I have come to recognize and accept myself as a Highly Sensitive Person.
It is estimated that 20% of the human population would test positive for what Carl Jung called Innate Sensitiveness. This innate sensitivity has been well researched and the term Highly Sensitive Person was coined in 1996 by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. and explored in her book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Thrive When The World Overwhelms You
Wikipedia has this definition of Highly Sensitive Person:
A highly sensitive person (HSP) is a person having the innate trait of high sensitivity (or innate sensitiveness as Carl Gustav Jung originally coined it). According to Elaine N. Aron and colleagues as well as other researchers, highly sensitive people, which would represent about a fifth of the population, process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to a biological difference in their nervous systems. This is a specific trait with key consequences that in the past has often been confused with innate shyness, inhibitedness, innate fearfulness, introversion, and so on. The existence of the trait of innate sensitivity was demonstrated using a test that was shown to have both internal and external validity.
While the idea of highly sensitive people is still shrugged off by the mainstream press and health-care community, I have no doubt that, just as people have different levels of visual acuity, hearing, intelligence and physical grace, there are also varying levels of what I call vibrational sensitivity.
In my observation there is no diagnostic device presently available that is as sensitive as the human body. When properly tuned, our physical bodies have the ability to perceive and respond to our environment with an accuracy that far exceeds the capacity of our present technology. And some of us have bodies that are naturally tuned to be more sensitive to our vibrational environment.
So, for better or worse, that puts highly sensitive people in the unenviable position of being the canaries in the coalmine. Our sensitivity to the auditory, environmental, and vibrational pollution that is prevalent in our world means that we often display physical, emotional and vibrational symptoms long before others less sensitive than us.
That’s the bad news.
But fear not, there is good news! If you are a highly sensitive person, your sensitivity indicates that your body is more highly tuned than most people’s. And, with a bit of effort, training and regular practice, you can learn to leverage your sensitivity to create success and take your life to the next level. I have! More on that later.
For now, let’s look at some of the “symptoms” of highly sensitive people because, if you’re like I was, you might not even know that you’re highly sensitive. And when you don’t know that you’re highly sensitive it can be very difficult and uncomfortable to live in this world filled with less sensitive people who don’t understand why you have to cover your ears when an ambulance goes by, or leave a restaurant that smells like bleach, or sit under a full-spectrum light during the winter.
So if you have ever wondered if you are highly sensitive, here is a list of signs that could indicate that you are a Highly Sensitive Person. (I’ve added some personal notes to a few of the items on the list).
1. Can you hear things others cannot, especially high-pitched sounds? I do!
Do you hear sirens long before anyone else? Does the high-pitched hum of a partially dimmed light fixture get under your skin when no one else seems to notice? Does the whirring fan in your computer distract you? Is it difficult for you to sleep in the same room as a refrigerator? Do you need to cover your ears when a loud siren passes by? Do you use earplugs at concerts or on planes?
2. Do you notice smells that others miss? I do!
I have a weird olfactory sense: When it comes to nice, natural smells such as roses and lilacs, I have to put my nose right into the flower in order to smell it. But when it comes to not-so-nice smells I am highly attuned. I can smell cigarette smoke from 50-feet away when I’m outside and the wind is blowing in the opposite direction. When I walk into a restaurant that has just cleaned up with chlorine bleach, I often have to turn around a leave because the smell is overpowering. And don’t get me started on some of the unnatural perfumes that have nearly made meâ€¦ well I think you get the idea!
3. Do you know what other people need before they ask? I do!
This post, Intuition or Observation & Analysis, provides a great example of this.
4. Do you notice the flicker on older computer screens or older fluorescent fixtures? I do!
I’m still amazed at how often I used to sit down at someone else’s computer and wonder how they were able to work on it with the refresh rate set so low. If they were not looking over my shoulder I would usually go in and quickly increase the refresh rate which took away the flicker and provided me with some relief.
5. Do you get “overwhelmed” by joy when you experience great beauty: A beautiful sunset, an incredible musical performance, the smile of your child? I do!
High vibrational sensitivity is not always triggered by “negative” experiences. Positive, beautiful, sublime experiences can also awaken that sensitivity. But again, the difference and occasionally the difficulty for sensitive people is the intensity of the experience. Highly sensitive people can be truly overwhelmed by a beautiful experience, which is fine if you are alone on the beach watching a spectacular sunset, but may not be so great if you happen to look out the window at work just at the peak moment of that beautiful sunset.
6. Do you feel threatened or uneasy in large crowds or big cities?
Sometimes I enjoy going into San Francisco, and other times I just can’t wait to get out. But no matter how I’m feeling while I’m there, I always notice a distinct sense of calmness descending upon me as I leave the City. It’s as if I’m passing through an invisible energy boundary as I cross the Golden Gate Bridge.
7. Do you have “emotional radar” that picks up on what others are feeling? I do, I do!
Do you know what people are feeling before they tell you? Do you ever walk into a room and sense that there has been an argument?
8. Do you pick up physical symptoms from other people? I do!
Have you ever been feeling great and then run into a friend who had a headache and suddenly noticed a headache coming on? I once massaged a friend’s knee after she tweaked it during a yoga class. When I was done, she felt great, but I could hardly walk!
9. Does reading or hearing about bad news have a dramatic impact on your mood? It does!
Once upon a time I was a news and information junkie. Knowing what was happening in the world was important. As my sensitivity awakened, however, I began to recognize that the news is almost exclusively low-vibration information and had a dramatic and usually negative impact on me. A few years ago I did a week long news fast to see if it would make a difference. It did! Soon after that, I stopped watching, listening to or reading the news on a regular basis. And while I still don’t watch or listen to the news, I am now able to read the paper or gather snippets of news from the Internet without noticing a dramatic effect on my mood.
10. If you see a bad car accident does it affect you for the entire day? It does.
Most people have a reaction when seeing an accident but for some highly sensitive people the effect can be dramatic and long lasting.
11. Have you been diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and/or do you experience a noticeable drop in your energy and mood during the winter? I do.
12. Have you ever had a transcendent or mystical experience?
Highly sensitive people are naturally more open to experiences of bliss, ecstasy and spiritual awakening.
13. Do you have a strong reaction when you drink caffeine or when you attempt to stop? I do!
Everything we put into our bodies has both a physical and energetic effect. For most people the physical effects of caffeine are not that dramatic. But sensitive people also feel the energetic effects of that caffeine and the combination can be quite powerful.
14. Do you have food sensitivities or allergies?
Most of us are putting stuff into our bodies that was never meant to go there. This is fine for people who are not highly sensitive (not really!) but if you are highly sensitive your body may tell you, in no uncertain terms, what you can and cannot put into it.
15. Do you have allergies or asthma? I do, I do!
As with food allergies, environmental allergies can indicate that you are reacting to allergens on both a physical and energetic level.
16. Are you a “lightweight?” I am!
A friend of mine used to say that I could “get drunk from sniffing the bottlecap!” And she wasn’t that far off. My karate buddies nicknamed me Ed “No Mas” Mills because of my tendency to get a little rambunctious after a couple of beers. If one glass of wine puts you under the table you might be highly sensitive.
17. Are you sensitive to over-the-counter, prescribed or illegal drugs? I am!
Can you take half the recommended dosage of a drug and experience a noticeable effect? Have you had an overwhelming experience when experimenting with other drugs?
18. If you have ever had surgery, did it take longer to recover from the effects of the anesthesia than from the surgery itself?
Yes it did!
For many sensitive people anesthesia can have a long-lasting and powerful effect. Anesthesia impacts not only the physical body but also the energy body by putting you into a completely unnatural state. It’s a neither here nor there state that can wreak havoc on a sensitive person’s system.
19. Is being in a calm, peaceful environment very important for you? It is!
Does clutter, stress you out? Do harsh, disharmonious colors fluster you? Do you feel at peace in a beautiful garden? Is it important for you to create a “sanctuary” within your home?
20. Do you get claustrophobic when you spend too much time indoors? I do!
For many sensitive people, being inside for too long leads to a feeling of claustrophobia, lethargy and/or irritation.
21. Is it important for you to spend time alone? It is!
Highly sensitive people often feel better when alone. In extreme cases, this need to be alone can be debilitating to the point where being around others is almost impossible.
22. Do you experience dramatic mood swings, sometimes for no apparent reason? I do!
Have you ever been sitting at work, or on the bus, or in a cafe, feeling pretty good, and suddenly, for no apparent reason, started to feel sad, or angry? Highly sensitive people are more sensitive to both their own emotional content as well as the emotions of those around them. So if this happens to you, you may be connecting with something happening inside of you, but you might also be unintentionally “tuning in” to the emotional content of someone else.
23. Do you know when people are lying to you? I always do!
Have you ever just known that someone is telling you a lie, even when you have no “logical” reason to believe that to be so?
There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. These are of possible “symptoms” of high sensitivity. If ten or more of these experiences rang true for you, it’s highly likely that you’re a highly sensitive person. But even if you said “Yes” to just a handful of these you could be highly sensitive. In fact, even just one or two of these, if they are very strong for you, could indicate high sensitivity.
Ultimately I believe that being a highly sensitive person is a gift. It certainly has become a gift to me! And, yes, I know, it does not always feel that way. It can feel like a burden and a curse. But when you learn how to put boundaries and systems into place you can begin to access and harness that sensitivity and use it to create the life you desire.