Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a creature of impetus with a side-order of higher
I'm a bit of a hopeless nostalgic. Anyone can be romantic.
I use the words queef, poop, boner, and fart more often than is
reasonable. I especially enjoy using these words to replace lyrics
in popular songs.
I'm part thirteen year old boy, part very (painfully) rational
adult, and part very (painfully) sappy lug.
I think that quick-paced banter may be the sexiest thing two people
can exchange. Besides, you know, fluids.
I have a wicked sense of humor, and I like to fight. Good, clean,
Sexy exchanges of ideas.
I'm not very tactful, but if you can hang with that I am incredible
at first dates. Let's go get into some weird shit.
I'm a thicker chick, but I love to run, hike, cycle, and any active
thing you have the time and patience to teach me how to do, as long
as you know my hand-eye coordination could use some work.
I am pretty queer. I don't care about my gender and I don't care
I identify pretty proudly as a slut. Poly isn't exactly it, but I
usually have multiple partners. This doesn't entitle you to have
sex with me, nor does it mean I like to be aggressively sexualized
by total strangers. The best way to get me into bed is not to try.
I know that this seems counter-intuitive, but I prefer to have
friendships that may or may not include a sexual component to being
"pursued." It's best to let me come on to you. Trust me. I will not
be shy about it.
Long-term partnerships do happen. I'm just pretty slow to romantic
Critical thinking and self-awareness are incredibly attractive
qualities to me. Socrates had some pretty good things to say about
the unexamined life.
I like a good strong cocktail. I'd like it more if I could find a
trustworthy bar to serve them.
I love a good game of chess. Even though I'm only mediocre at
I love any joke that would make a member of the ACLU balk, but I
would probably join the ACLU in a heartbeat.
I am empathetic and have a hard time not expressing this
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Faking my way through Monday night D & D.
Wishing to get back into something bigger than myself.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making jokes, cocktails, and memories.
Talking big ideas.
Starting books I don't finish.
Not folding my laundry.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty clever, and I like most things. And most people.
I'm baffled by most social taboos.
I'm pretty genuine. I've heard that's noticeable from the on-set.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This stuff, you should ask me about.
Especially movies. I have a lot to say about movies.
In broad terms, I like books on philosophy and ethics. I also like
Harry Potter. The books, not the films.
I recently read Ender's Game again, and am currently in the middle
of Sense and Goodness Without God, Lying, Chubster, and Sex at
I love B-Horror, or any horror at all. I like a good musical. I
enjoy Tarantino and the Coen brothers. I hate chick flicks. Except
Bridesmaids. That movie was pretty okay. Favorite recent films:
Upstream Color. Post Tenebras Lux. ABC's of Death. Maniac. Django
Unchained. John Dies at the End. Wrong.
I love Mad Men. I can't understand why they ended Deadwood or
Firefly so abruptly. Archer's my boy. Breaking Bad. Always Sunny.
Stella. Louie. Maron. Newsroom. IT Crowd. Black's Books. Sherlock.
Community. House of Cards. Misfits. Orange is the New Black. Bears.
Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
6. Some form of sex
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
writing love letters to your mother.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you say something surprising and poignant, it is a total
I browse OkC while inebriated sometimes. So. Roll those dice.
I really don't keep anything private.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can make me laugh in message one.
You actually can reference something specific you have read
You think that there are a million things that are actually real
and more "fun to think about" than your astrological sign. That
shit is MASH for grown-ups.
You want to have a drink and yell at each other about something
important, and then maybe make out. Or play some Pente, maybe.
Watch the Evil Dead Trilogy. Or, you know. If you just want
I am into humans with brains. I like them active, funny,
reasonable, and it's best if they can give and take guff in equal
If any of your beliefs are un-falsifiable (if it isn't subjected to
the scientific burden of proof, or could not be changed with
greater evidence) we will probably not be very compatible.
Religion and superstitious beliefs are pretty much
That said, I have a strong moral compass, and I'm actually soft as
balls beneath my guarded exterior.
I make a killer friend, to anyone who's shopping for a wingman, an
honest sounding board, or a loyal brother.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.