Okay, instead of getting married again, I'm just going to find a woman that I don't like, have sex with her for a while and then give her a house and half my stuff… kidding.
Can someone please tell me what's up with that bullsh*t website e-harmony - it took me an hour to fill out the damned profile and then it told me that it couldn't match me with anyone... nobody. What the hell? Surely there is somebody on that site that might find me worthwhile... circus freak, ice-princess, control queen… somebody ?
Ambulance chasing attorney, recently disbarred and currently under indictment, seeking honest lady for relationship... actually, “honest” is not a prerequisite as long as you’re cute (the part about being disbarred is a joke).
Okay, so you're "not looking for a husband"... well, I'm not looking for a husband either, so we might have something in common right off the bat.
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME:
The part being an attorney is true… I’m okay with all of the stereotypes. Um… I prefer boxers to briefs. I do pluck my nostril hair on a regular basis… but I hate it because it hurts like f’n crazy. Unfortunately, I can’t touch my nose with my tongue… but it’s not for a lack of trying. I usually download the “explicit” version of a song from iTunes. Also, I have 6 toes on my left foot - not really, but there might be a quiz later just to see if you really read my profile. If I kiss you on the first date, it's because I like you. If I don't kiss you on the first date it's because I like you.
My goal at this point in life is to do all the crazy sh*t that's not covered in my life insurance policy. I've got my skydiving certification, but I'm looking for something that will provide an even greater rush (like courting and falling head over heels for a beautiful woman). Twenty years from now I don't want to be sitting back, disappointed over the things I didn't do. Right now I'm looking for my next adventure (open for suggestions and need a companion or someone to take pictures).
I'M LOOKING TO MEET SOMEONE WITH A BUBBLY LAUGH & SEXY SMILE THAT WILL CAPTIVATE ME AND LEAVE ME TINGLING.