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litigator_ray

44 M Romeoville, IL

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:16pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Law
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Marriage... it is the #1 cause for divorce in America :)

Okay, instead of getting married again, I'm just going to find a woman that I don't like, have sex with her for a while and then give her a house and half my stuff… kidding.

Can someone please tell me what's up with that bullsh*t website e-harmony - it took me an hour to fill out the damned profile and then it told me that it couldn't match me with anyone... nobody. What the hell? Surely there is somebody on that site that might find me worthwhile... circus freak, ice-princess, control queen… somebody ?

ABOUT ME:
Ambulance chasing attorney, recently disbarred and currently under indictment, seeking honest lady for relationship... actually, “honest” is not a prerequisite as long as you’re cute (the part about being disbarred is a joke).

ABOUT YOU:
Okay, so you're "not looking for a husband"... well, I'm not looking for a husband either, so we might have something in common right off the bat.

A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME:
The part being an attorney is true… I’m okay with all of the stereotypes. Um… I prefer boxers to briefs. I do pluck my nostril hair on a regular basis… but I hate it because it hurts like f’n crazy. Unfortunately, I can’t touch my nose with my tongue… but it’s not for a lack of trying. I usually download the “explicit” version of a song from iTunes. Also, I have 6 toes on my left foot - not really, but there might be a quiz later just to see if you really read my profile. If I kiss you on the first date, it's because I like you. If I don't kiss you on the first date it's because I like you.

My goal at this point in life is to do all the crazy sh*t that's not covered in my life insurance policy. I've got my skydiving certification, but I'm looking for something that will provide an even greater rush (like courting and falling head over heels for a beautiful woman). Twenty years from now I don't want to be sitting back, disappointed over the things I didn't do. Right now I'm looking for my next adventure (open for suggestions and need a companion or someone to take pictures).

I'M LOOKING TO MEET SOMEONE WITH A BUBBLY LAUGH & SEXY SMILE THAT WILL CAPTIVATE ME AND LEAVE ME TINGLING.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to figure out if I want to chase ambulances for the rest of my life or move into some other area of law - or just say screw it and get a job that I actually can't wait to get to in the morning.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really, really good at the things that I'm "really good at"... I suck at everything else.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The banana I have sticking out of my pocket.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite authors are James Patterson & Patricia Cornwell. As for movies, I would probably have to say that Pulp Fiction is my favorite film of all time. My musical tastes are all over the board - I like just about anything/everything.... with the exception of opera and country (I can tolerate some country).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. iPhone
2. iPod
3. Laptop
4. wi-fi
5. Gym membership
6. A decent tan
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What you are going to think about my profile
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing something that I'll probably regret on Saturday
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I would jump on the chance to sleep with Martha Stewart
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–47
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a pulse... and you can see your toes