Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

i moved back to my hometown last year. i wanted to teach at the community college where my grandpa, who i never knew, taught. now i do. i'm kind of a sucker for tradition like that. i went to mizzou for my BA because my dad and his dad did. i went to siuc for my MA because my mom went there. now i'm here because teachers don't get paid enough to move anywhere glamorous, and i have a strange affection for this little river town. (not godfrey so much as alton, but if you live here it's all the same.) my old house was right near the life-sized robert wadlow statue. bobwad, which is what we call him around here, is (i'm pretty sure) still the tallest man in recorded history. they're growing some pretty tall people out there, and i'll be heartbroken when bobwad loses his title. i am not tall.

i've been fortunate to have done a little traveling in the past year - i spent new years' in amsterdam, went to a kickass wedding in downtown memphis, saw my favorite band, steely dan, from the third row while visiting a friend in philly, and took the train to chicago for pitchfork music festival, where i saw some amazing bands, not the least of which was fleet foxes. the gods of travel smiled on me and i am grateful.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

since originally having posted "i think we can all agree that teachers should be paid like pro athletes" i have discovered that there are some people who fervently disagree with that idea - it was in jest anyway. i teach english at two community colleges. i will tutor you or edit your novel or build your resume. none of that sounds like much fun (unless your novel is entertaining), but if you're willing to pay me, i'll do a damn good job of it, or at least try. haha. i should warn you that if you write poetry i will probably hate it. but that certainly won't mean i like you any less, just your shitty poetry.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

balancing good work ethic and obscene amounts of procrastination. scratching the spot my three-legged cat can't reach anymore. making playlists. scrabble. and some things of a more graphic nature i won't detail here.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

people constantly mention how good i look in glasses. upon first meeting someone, he or she will generally compliment me on my necklace. then i inevitably tell him or her the story of how the necklace and its matching bracelet were originally intended for my grandmother but i was like "aw hell no." what a lovely first impression i must be making!

as for the bad things people may be noticing about me i couldn't tell you because they've all been kind enough (or not ballsy enough) to mention them to me.

people seem to think i am confident. it's not so much that i'm confident as it is that it doesn't occur to me to worry about it until later. in the moment, i'm just in the moment. later on, i'll sit around and think, "did i say that? why the hell would i say that?!"

that said, i am not at all underconfident. i am shy only in the rarest of circumstances.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

books: everything tom robbins ever wrote. the kite runner. the lost art of keeping secrets. the chronicles of narnia. the harry potter series. the dark materials series. the southern vampire series. the handmaid's tale. the sound and the fury. the wild palms. the unbearable lightness of being. lolita. 100 years of solitude. as i lay dying. the great gatsby. the remains of the day. the dharma bums. howl and other poems. haroun and the sea of stories. the lord of the rings trilogy. the secret language of birthdays. american psycho. i know this much is true. white noise. higglety pigglety pop! or there must be more to life.

movies: henry fool. fay grim. the royal tenenbaums. amelie. batman begins. the omen. dawn of the dead. shaun of the dead. amadeus. rumble fish. fight club. kicking and screaming. wet hot american summer. twin peaks: fire walk with me. mulholland drive. barfly. better off dead. highway 61. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban. i heart huckabees. dune. sixteen candles. american beauty. the graduate. keeping the faith. bend it like beckham. elf. the muppet movie. in her shoes. darjeeling limited. once. help!

music: jim o'rourke. yes. steely dan. elvis costello. the beastie boys. urge overkill. sebadoh. pavement. ween. lupe fiasco. kanye west. q-tip. consequence. the police. hum. badly drawn boy. amy winehouse. nick drake. nirvana. justin timberlake. sondre lerche. beck. mc paul barman. tricky. frente! stereolab. huey lewis and the news. supertramp. the sea and cake. queen. hall and oates. wilco. elton john. dinosaur jr. the breeders. will oldham. tori amos. liz phair. bjork. owls. jeff buckley. battles. radiohead. karate. richard cheese. the beatles. lily allen. glen hansard. fleet foxes blow my mind. soundtracks. i love soundtracks. they're readymade mixtapes.

if you've never had a winston bagel, it's worth the trip from wherever you are to carbondale, illinois. nothing else is worth shit in carbondale, so arrive on a thursday, friday or saturday night during the school year, get drunk, and get a bagel with everything. no, get two bagels with everything. go pass out somewhere, wake up, and leave carbondale immediately.

i'm not much of a cook for someone who once owned a restaurant, but i'm easing into my comfort zone in the kitchen. i make a bitchin' veggie pita pizza, and i think some of the world's most perfect foods are avocados and bacon and creamy tomato soup and lobster and sunflower seeds. i recently baked a killer carrot cake from scratch.

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

my family (yes, this does include my cats, all three of whom turn eight this year, but i am not a certifiable crazy cat lady). my friends. cigarettes (though i hope one day to do without them, that day has not yet arrived). music. travel. and last but certainly not least, downtime.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

the television show LOST. whether the playlists i'm making are long enough, or perfect enough. lists i need to make to stay organized. whether to stay here or try to get hired full time in some other city (or burbs).

i've spent ten and a half years considering what my next tattoo should be and i still haven't gotten one. so i guess you could say i've spent a whole lot of time thinking about that.

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

watching what not to wear or battlestar galactica, grading papers, making the rounds of the bars in glamorous downtown alton, sleeping, chillin' with my lady-friends, seeing a band once in a while, playing scrabble...the options are ridiculous. i'm pretty easily entertained for the most part.

my friend and i were simultaneously appalled and overjoyed to realize we spent two friday nights in a row this summer coloring in coloring books. just to clarify - this was unplanned.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

my favorite thing is commuting. watch out for me on 270, rocking the fuck out. when other people stuck in traffic smile at me rocking the fuck out, and i realize i just made them smile while stuck in traffic on the way home from work, i feel good about myself. commuting also rules because there's just no way to grade papers while driving.

You should message me if Propose an edit

you have any cojones at all. as we used to yell at the bands before shows at the rocket bar, "bring it, fuckers!"

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