I was bitten by a SPOOKY SKELETON and now I am destined to turn into one someday.
No but so, I have a girlfriend: Anais_Sagan. I love her more than pizza (this is the highest honor I can bestow). We're polyamorous and she's my primary partner.
I'm divorced, and I have a 3-year-old daughter. She lives with her mother on the other side of the country. This makes me sad because my daughter is awesome.
OK BUT SO HERE'S WHAT I'M LIKE THOUGH:
People tell me I'm good at empathy. I consider things from as many different angles as possible. I'm thoughtful to a fault, and I can sometimes get trapped in my own head.
I'm goofy. I wear weird clothes and I'm really into animated gifs. I play Dungeons and Dragons. I'm seriously funny, though sometimes I'm the only one who thinks so. I like silliness and cute things. I'm a grown man who really likes ponies and unicorns, though I don't identify as a brony. I'm not above making a lame pun. I have a life-size skeleton in my apartment that I use for a coat rack.
I'm into literature and linguistics and polysyndeton and I love to play with language. I spend a lot of time on my computer. I like to be different, even when that's dumb. I love irony unironically. Pink is my favorite color. I own a bunch of funny domain names on the internet (e.g. www.floppybutts.com).
I sneeze like a dog who forgot how to bark right.
I'm an annoying mix of cold logic and hot emotion. I strive for moderation in all things, and my philosophy has been strongly influenced by Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. I like to say stuff that I think makes me sound smart. I was a pretty devoutly religious guy for a while, but I'm over it.
I like to invent new emoticons. ,':Y
(I call that "The Intrigued Duck".)