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32 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:54am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, and might want more
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Latin (Poorly)

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My self-summary
CURRENT BEARD STATUS: stubbly, but promising to shave soon

OK but so here's what I'm like:

Empathy is my strong suit. I consider things from as many different angles as possible. I'm thoughtful to a fault, and I can sometimes get trapped in my own head.

I'm dorky. I wear weird clothes and I'm really into linguistics. I play Dungeons and Dragons. I'm pretty dang funny, though sometimes I'm the only one who thinks so. I like silliness and cute things. I'm a grown man who really likes unicorns. I own a bunch of funny domain names on the internet (e.g. I think skeletons are badass. I'm not above making a lame pun.

I'm into literature and I love to play with language. I spend a lot of time on my computer. I like to be different, even when that's dumb. I love irony unironically. Pink is my favorite color. I love animated gifs.

I sneeze like a dog who forgot how to bark right.

I'm an annoying mix of cold logic and hot emotion. I strive for moderation in all things, and my philosophy has been strongly influenced by Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. I like to say stuff that I think makes me sound smart. I was, until pretty recently, a religious guy, but I'm over it.

I like to invent new emoticons. >B]
What I’m doing with my life
Turning over every new leaf I can find.

I have a good job making cool software. I like to write: novels, short stories, comics, jokes on the bathroom wall.
I’m really good at
Making jokes, being pedantic, English spelling & grammar, writing quality ampersands by hand, standing on one foot, Scrabble, eating really fast, clapping, seeming like I know things about foreign languages I don't really speak
The first things people usually notice about me
I'd like to think it's my sparkling wit or my dashing good looks, but it's probably my t-shirt that has a unicorn on it or my pink sneakers. Or maybe my goofy hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like long novels: Moby-Dick, Infinite Jest, Anna Karenina, Don Quixote. I like short novels too. "If on a winter's night a traveler" is a favorite. I read a lot of novels. I like Harry Potter and stuff like that too.

The Wire is the best TV show of all time. Pretty sure that's an objective fact. I also like Adventure Time, Doctor Who, Star Trek (TNG), Community, Cowboy Bebop, 30 Rock, Supernatural, Veronica Mars, Arrested Development, Trigun, and anything else good that shows up on Netflix.

My favorite movie is The Royal Tenenbaums. I love Wes Anderson. Other favorites include Groundhog Day, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Howl's Moving Castle, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Night Watch, and The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

People tell me I have an eclectic taste in music. Some artists I love: Tom Waits, Joanna Newsom, Soul Coughing, Sunset Rubdown, Wolf Parade, They Might Be Giants, Talking Heads, The Vandals, Devo, Vampire Weekend, Regina Spektor, Born Ruffians, Sleigh Bells, Okkervil River, Metric, Elvis Costello, Santigold, The Magnetic Fields.

I am on a pretty strict "slow carb" diet, which I've been on for about two years. But the nice thing about the diet is that I'm allowed cheat days on which I can eat anything I want.
The six things I could never do without
§ When the internet goes out, my first instinct is to get on the internet to occupy myself until the internet comes back on.

§ If I could never have a cheeseburger, or pizza, or ice cream, or Cadbury mini eggs again, I would seriously contemplate suicide.

§ When congress finally passes a law outlawing grammar Nazis, nitpickers, and general pedants, I will be first against the wall.

§ I read a lot, so let's say books.

§ They can have my emoticons when they pry them from my cold, dead hands. >:o

§ I won't live in a city that doesn't have a good Indian food restaurant. I won't do it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Things that occupy my brain when I really should be getting to sleep:
-jokes/clever things to say
-what it means to be happy
-linguistic prescriptivism vs. descriptivism (DEATH TO PRESCRIPTIVISTS)
-short story/novel/comic strip ideas
-imaginary conversations I could have or should have had
-websites I could create
-what other people are thinking about (OH GOD IS IT ME ARE THEY THINKING MEAN THINGS ABOUT ME)
-things I've heard on This American Life or Radiolab
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Either that or reading a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
This seems like a place for disclaimers, so here goes.

I'm divorced and I have a young daughter (who lives with her mother) (I have her every other weekend).

I'm also ethically non-monogamous. I have a long-term primary partner, and we both date other people.

Sorry if any of these things are dealbreakers. Or maybe YOUR MOM is a dealbreaker, did you ever think of that.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–42
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
you are looking for MUCHAS SMOOCHES