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33 Seattle, WA Man, Cis Man

Man, Cis Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Straight, Heteroflexible, Questioning
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Latin (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was bitten by a SPOOKY SKELETON and now I am destined to turn into one someday.

No but so, I have a girlfriend: Anais_Sagan. I love her more than pizza (this is the highest honor I can bestow). We're polyamorous and she's my primary partner.

I'm divorced, and I have a 3-year-old daughter. She lives with her mother on the other side of the country. This makes me sad because my daughter is awesome.

People tell me I'm good at empathy. I consider things from as many different angles as possible. I'm thoughtful to a fault, and I can sometimes get trapped in my own head.

I'm goofy. I wear weird clothes and I'm really into animated gifs. I play Dungeons and Dragons. I'm seriously funny, though sometimes I'm the only one who thinks so. I like silliness and cute things. I'm a grown man who really likes ponies and unicorns, though I don't identify as a brony. I'm not above making a lame pun. I have a life-size skeleton in my apartment that I use for a coat rack.

I'm into literature and linguistics and polysyndeton and I love to play with language. I spend a lot of time on my computer. I like to be different, even when that's dumb. I love irony unironically. Pink is my favorite color. I own a bunch of funny domain names on the internet (e.g.

I sneeze like a dog who forgot how to bark right.

I'm an annoying mix of cold logic and hot emotion. I strive for moderation in all things, and my philosophy has been strongly influenced by Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. I like to say stuff that I think makes me sound smart. I was a pretty devoutly religious guy for a while, but I'm over it.

I like to invent new emoticons. ,':Y
(I call that "The Intrigued Duck".)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Turning over every new leaf I can find.

I have a good job making cool software. I like to write: novels, short stories, comics, jokes on the bathroom wall.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making jokes, being pedantic, English spelling & grammar, writing ampersands like this "&" by hand, standing on one foot, Scrabble, eating really fast, clapping, seeming like I know things about foreign languages I don't really speak
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have poofy hair, and my glasses look like they're made of wood (they're not though). Also I probably have a unicorn on my t-shirt.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like long novels: Moby-Dick, Infinite Jest, Anna Karenina, Don Quixote. I like short novels too. "If on a winter's night a traveler" is a favorite. I read a lot of novels. I like Harry Potter and stuff like that too.

The Wire is the best TV show of all time. Pretty sure that's an objective fact. I also like Adventure Time, Doctor Who, Star Trek (TNG), Community, Cowboy Bebop, 30 Rock, Supernatural, Veronica Mars, Arrested Development, Trigun, and anything else good that shows up on Netflix.

My favorite movie is The Royal Tenenbaums. I love Wes Anderson. Other favorites include Groundhog Day, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Howl's Moving Castle, Robocop, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, House II: The Second Story, Night Watch, and The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

People tell me I have an eclectic taste in music. Some artists I love: Tom Waits, Joanna Newsom, Soul Coughing, Sunset Rubdown, Wolf Parade, They Might Be Giants, Talking Heads, The Vandals, Son Lux, Devo, Vampire Weekend, Regina Spektor, Born Ruffians, Sleigh Bells, Okkervil River, Metric, Elvis Costello, Santigold, The Magnetic Fields.

I am on a pretty strict "slow carb" diet, which I've been on for about two years. But the nice thing about the diet is that I'm allowed cheat days on which I can eat anything I want.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
§ When the internet goes out, the first thing I do is try to get on the internet to occupy myself until the internet comes back on.

§ If I could never have a cheeseburger, or pizza, or ice cream, or Cadbury mini eggs again, I would seriously contemplate suicide.

§ When congress finally passes a law outlawing nitpickers, devil's advocates, and general pedants, I will be first against the wall.

§ I shot a man in Reno because he threatened to delete my treasure trove of animated gifs.

§ They can have my emoticons when they pry them from my cold, dead hands. >:o

§ I won't live in a city that doesn't have a good Indian restaurant. I won't do it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Things that occupy my brain when I really should be getting to sleep:
-jokes/clever things to say
-what it means to be happy
-linguistic prescriptivism vs. descriptivism (DEATH TO PRESCRIPTIVISTS)
-short story/novel/comic strip ideas
-imaginary conversations I could have or should have had
-websites I could create
-what other people are thinking about
-things I've heard on This American Life or Radiolab
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Either that or reading a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I clip my fingernails into the toilet. I find this shameful for some reason.

I have strong opinions about punctuation.

Also, it turns out I'm kind of an existential nihilist. Embarrassing but true.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are looking for MUCHAS SMOOCHES